"You are so self-centered!"

Serina

Serina

Handbags and Horses
Jul 4, 2009
1,292
5
#1
Ok, so I might be the only one who sometimes thinks something to myself or does something that is so self-centered that Id never dare say it aloud! :shame: Except on here. :graucho:

I have a suspicion Im not alone, though I will do some serious soul-searching if you can hear crickets in this thread.

Lets share our not-so fine and humble moments.:choochoo:
 
#2
Ill start:

I had a first date with a med student who didnt call me back. He was a bit on the nerdy side and definately good "boyfriend material".

After our date he didnt call me and I figured he was just shy so I texted him. It turned out he just wasnt that into me.

My first reaction? "SERIOUSLY? In WHAT universe does the nerd dump the hot girl?"

(would like to add that I didnt actually SAY that)
 
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#3
Serina said:
Ill start:

I had a first date with a med student who didnt call me back. He was a bit on the nerdy side and definately good "boyfriend material".

After our date he didnt call me and I figured he was just shy so I texted him. It turned out he just want that into me.

My first reaction? "SERIOUSLY? In WHAT universe does the nerd dump the hot girl?"
Click to expand...

Sounds like you are the self centered one in this situation. Looks aren't everything, hot girl.
 
#4
Sternchen said:
Sounds like you are the self centered one in this situation. Looks aren't everything, hot girl.
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I never thought that looks are everything.

However going to that reaction was a good defense-mechanism because it kept me from feeling hurt that I'd put myself out there and was rejected by someone I actually liked.

I texted him back basically saying "no problem, it was nice hanging out" and went into a bishy mindspace to feel better about it.

I dont think I am alone in doing that.
 
#5
So, the point of people posting examples of how shallow they are is????

Serina said:
However going to that reaction was a good defense-mechanism because it kept me from feeling hurt that I'd put myself out there and was rejected by someone I actually liked.

I texted him back basically saying "no problem, it was nice hanging out" and went into a bishy mindspace to feel better about it.

I dont think I am alone in doing that.
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I'd say a good defense mechanism would be realizing that no matter how great you think you are, someone isn't going to feel the same way. No need to rag someone cause they're not interested in you...even if you didn't say it to their face.
 
#6
Charles said:
So, the point of people posting examples of how shallow they are is????



I'd say a good defense mechanism would be realizing that no matter how great you think you are, someone isn't going to feel the same way. No need to rag someone cause they're not interested in you...even if you didn't say it to their face.
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Just thought it might be funny.

For people to post shallow things they have thought or done that meant they acknowledge and admit that it was shallow, which required a level of insight truely shallow people dont have.

I see that my opening post was formulated in an unfortunate way, which I did because I thought it was funny, but I am being misunderstood and clearly poeple think i come off as an awful, selfish person, which Im not.

Am hoping a Mod will close this thread.
 
#7
So you're wanting people to share stories about how they used to act, and how silly it was? OK. From your initial post it seemed like you were glorifying being self centered.
 
#9
Serina said:
Just thought it might be funny.

For people to post shallow things they have thought or done that meant they acknowledge and admit that it was shallow, which required a level of insight truely shallow people dont have.

I see that my opening post was formulated in an unfortunate way, which I did because I thought it was funny, but I am being misunderstood and clearly poeple think i come off as an awful, selfish person, which Im not.

Am hoping a Mod will close this thread.
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I got it. I'm not sharing, but I understood your intent. ;)

Kind of like a confession cam.
 
#12
Sternchen said:
Sounds like you are the self centered one in this situation. Looks aren't everything, hot girl.
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This.

I'm floored that you think that you're so pretty that this guy must have fallen head over heels for you.

Maybe he doesn't like how you look. Not everyone finds everyone else attractive, no matter the looks. Whatever you look like might not be what he's interested in or finds attractive to him.

Maybe he doesn't like your personality. Not everyone gets along or hits it off. Maybe he wants humble, outgoing, shy, etc.

Maybe there's no chemistry.

Maybe he doesn't like that you're shallow. Confident is good, but smug is something else entirely.

Maybe he can sense that you think he's "just a nerd" and he wisely chose not to pursue you because you thought he was just a nerd. Why did you want to date him if he's "just a nerd?" How can he be both "just a nerd" and "good boyfriend material?"
 
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#13
Ok, I read the other replies.

I think you're hurt, and your emotional reaction is just to find some reason to insult him so you're less hurt and so you feel less rejected. If you come up with some reason he's not "good enough" for you, your mind feels less rejected since you have tried to convince yourself that you didn't like him anyway. Or that you're "too good."

Not everyone hits it off. Perhaps a healthier reaction is to realize this instead.
 
#14
Charles said:
I'd say a good defense mechanism would be realizing that no matter how great you think you are, someone isn't going to feel the same way. No need to rag someone cause they're not interested in you...even if you didn't say it to their face.
Click to expand...

This.

You said it better and more tactfully than I did.

Sometimes rejection is good. Sometimes we're not all we think we are. Sometimes rejection is a good time to reevaluate how you are, how you want to be perceived, and how you really might be perceived. Sometimes we don't come off as how we want to seem. We might think we're refined and sophisticated- someone else might think we're silly and childish. We might think we're young and pretty-- someone else might think we're immature or old or ugly. And, sometimes people just don't like each other or "click" for whatever reason that can't be pinpointed. As the old adage goes, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. He might not have seen beauty there. And, even if you see beauty, vein or a mismatched personality or arrogance can easily undermine any physical beauty that exists. There's always someone prettier than you, and there's always someone that's uglier than you. There's always someone more arrogant than you, and there's always someone more humble than you. Be glad of the rejection- rejection is a good time for self-reflection.
 
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