Ok . My lovely man and I are planning our wedding (this does involve lots of drinking and possibly valium .) Planning these things is NOT easy, I have found that even tho your parents say Its your wedding whatever you kids want blah blah blah TRANSLATION : whatever you want as long as its STILL what WE want I am insistent about my Buddhist ceremony albeit . So far it[s a real laid back plan , we are renting a house on the beach for the week, a sweet short informal ceremony, then a great big party with heavy appetizers all evening, something that reflects US . We are very lucky to be comfortable in life , and I am very grateful, of course there are always things we WANT but in reality I dont need any more china , I have my Grandmothers antique set, I dont need bed linins or other things like that, I just was thinking that instead of our guests getting us gifts I announced to my Mom and Dad that I wanted to set up a fund for the St. Francis Society ( A No-kill shelter for cats and dogs ) that our guests can donate to , so they can give as much or as little as they want, so some of my friends who are still living pay check to pay check dont feel bad about buying us the Ice Cream scoop. Mom Mom freaked out she said it was the dumbest Idea she had ever heard you just register at Saks you will find things you need I am surprised, I also got this reaction from many people what do you guys think ? Are folks really that materialistic? I mean is a wedding just a big lot fest even if you can afford the things yourself?