wow....what a birthday so far....

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#16
Hmmm...
Your Dad is abusive, you should have called the police on him. My Mom is Bipolar and when I was younger she used to just flip out on me, once I got older she tried to do it once and I buffed up on her and pushed her back-shes never tried it again(I was 15 at the time). You said you were 16, so maybe you should bring it up to a teacher in school, I know its hard to "tattle" on your parents-but you also need to realize what they(I say THEY because your Mom should have stopped it!) are doing is CHILD ABUSE!
The present:You sound very ungrateful IMO.
 
#17
Please talk to a counsler at school. You really need to talk and acknowledge that this is abuse and it should not be going on. Are you afraid of what they will do if you tell someone? Please don't be. There are people who will help. I had a friend in high school who was abused by her mother (beatings but in places where clothing would cover it). Her father just stood by and watched. Her younger brother actually left home and went to his friends for a safe place because he was abused and the parents let the people adopt him--so he was safe. She stayed to keep a eye on the little children but it really took a toll on her. This is not something to stand by and let happen. You need to get help.
I understand how sad you were with your birthday but a lot of people just give money and think it is best---so realize that even if your parents did not put thought in to getting you a gift they probably expected you to thank them. I don't even get a card or phone call for my birthday from most family members. Please let us know you are OK and are going to talk to someone, if you don't want to at school there are hotlines that offer counseling.
HUGS.
 
#18
What cultural background are you from? What he did was definitely not normal and horrible.

However the 300 dollars you had recieved was alot. It would have been good to accept gifts with graciousness as many people in the world don't even get presents on their bday since their parents can't afford it. I know I certainly did not expect a lot from my parents but material items you learn in the end aren't what counts in the end.
 
#20
I think there's major issues here. First of all, $300 is A LOT of money for a 16 year old to receive. You should've acted a little more grateful, BUT there is no excuse for what your father did. You need to talk to your mother and if she takes no action, then talk to someone who will. You said that they hit you and it leaves marks....that's abuse!!! All of you really need to get into some family counseling.
 
#21
You have only given us a quick glance of your home life. It is almost impossible to give a fair assessment of what we think here because we are only hearing your side. From the limited facts in your post, IMO:
  1. you sound like you have a sense of entitlement. $300 was not enough for your birthday? is putting a roof over your head, feeding and clothing you not enough? sure we all want our parents to acknowledge us in a special way on our b-days but what are the extenuating circumstances here? do they both work? are they overwhelmed and don't have the time to shop for you? were they planning on taking you out to dinner? there are too many holes here. I can't say your parents are complete monsters here based on what you wrote. I think the fact that they gave you cash so you can get whatever you want is pretty cool. I would have loved that when I was 16.
  2. If the severity of what you father did is accurate in your description, getting $300 for my birthday would not be the FIRST thing I would be talking about in this post. My fathers abusive behavior would be the ONLY thing I would be addressing. But you subconciously prioritized what concerned you most which was the money thing. Now I do understand in an abusive environment, this behavior is pretty much a common every day occurance and can even become (gulp) accepted behavior at a point and therefore extremely unhealthy and a reason for not seeing it as anything unusual.
  3. If it is as bad as you say it is, please talk to a school counselor and get some help in this matter. It is serious and will only set you up for failure in your future romantic relationships as you may seek out whether realizing it or not this kind of man. Please stop what you can from happening now. You will have many more birthdays to celebrate if you take care of yourself and your family first.
 
#22
Wow, i find it so amazing that people can come on here and profess to feel bad for the OP and advise her to get help and in the same breath (or post) call her ungrateful or selfish or whatever.

you just don't get it. it's not about the amount. had she said "my parents gave me 20 dollars and i'm sad about it because it wasn't a gift" would you have the same issues? 100? it seems to me everyone is answering based on their own stuff and not the OP. as i said, i have had the same thing happen in my life. i would rather have a 10 dollar gift that was thoughtful than a 300 dollar check. it's the thought that counts and when you continuely get cash or a check you start to realize there really is no thought that goes in to that.
 
#26
xoxo_chanel said:
so this might be a long post...

anyways my 16th birthday was coming up, so a week ago my mom asked what i wanted and i told her. i didnt want a car...lol....i just said i wanted and itouch and uggs. so i thought that these two things were resonable to ask for. nothing big. i relized that the itouch doesnt come out for another few weeks i said you can just preorder it.

so here comes my birthday today and my parents left my present on the table. so i go and see and its just an envelope, so i know for sure its just money. and i hate getting money because theres just no thought that goes into it and my mom knows that! ive told her so many times. so open it and its 300$.....its not enough for an itouch, its about 330 plus tax. and uggs are 250 plus 14% tax in canada. i was clearly disappointed because i mean this is my 16th birthday! i expected more thought and consideration to be put into my present. so im just asking my mom what im supposed to do with this money..its not exactly what i wanted.. and guess what happens next.

my dad picks me up, puts his hands around my neck and basically starts dragging me to the door choking me, i was coughing like crazy. and my mom was just standing there. i mean i was completely shocked. my so called dad almost killed me on my birthday. and my parents usually hit me sometimes and leave small marks...but on my birthday?? i am so mad, angry and all these other emotions are coming out. what should i do?

and i relize that some people might think wow 300 is alot for a 16 year old but normally for me i get around the same or even more for my other birthdays. i kinda expected more for my 16th.....and for someone not to try to kill me..
Click to expand...


FIRST - I hope this doesn't get locked or deleted! See her request here.

SECOND - YOU ARE SPOILED!!

Your parents gave you $300 cash for your birthday so you could choose which thing you wanted the most. They tried to teach you some responsibility about money and you asked them what you should do with the money like it was worthless. That would have been the LAST time I gave my children money if that was the reaction I saw. You should be more grateful.

THIRD - Your dad's reaction is overboard, and your parents hit you and leave marks? Thats not so good but its not up to us to judge without knowing all the details. If you feel like you are in danger you should talk with your school counselor. Be prepared for a session with your parents and a counselor to talk about the issues in your home.

NEXT TIME - Say thanks!
 
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