Would you still marry him?

  1. My girlfriend has been dating this guy for 8 years now - she just found out that he cheated on her twice during their relationship with someone he had dated before. They've had a really rocky relationship but have managed to stick it out.

    So he's going through this spiritual journey and has decided to confess to her. She came over crying last weekend and i really had no good advice for her. I've known them for a long time and i was really surprised because they'd gone through so many obstacles (his family, her family, lay offs..etc).

    He's asked her to marry him....to start over with a clean slate.I'm not really sure what to say about that. Does his confession mean he's truly sorry and she should accept? Or is the old adage (sp?) true - once a cheater, always a cheater??
  2. Oh my, this is so hard...I want to say give him another chance....but I am so sorry, I really believe, based on personal experience...once a cheater, alwats a cheater.
  3. I have never been in that situation before, but if that happened to me, I don't think I would be able to marry him. I would always think he would be cheating with some one else kwim? I would feel insecure, and I wouldn't trust him. I wish your friend all the best!
  4. Once a cheater ..ALWAYS a cheater.
    NO WAY HOZAY...I wouldnt ever be able to trust that person again..sorry....
  5. If he cheated once, I would say maybe give him another chance. But twice? nuh uh, your friend would be better off alone. Does she have any kids with him? Yes I do believe once a cheater always a cheater from personal experience.
  6. I think even if she did give him another chance, she has to ask herself if she can trust him again. If not there is no point of continuing the relationship.
  7. It's so hard to say because I'm not in that situation, but I believe what the other posters have said....'once a cheater, always a cheater'
  8. It's so easy to say for me to say "DUMP his sorry ass" but then, it's always be easier said than done. I hope it works out either way for the best.
  9. I also think it's hard to say- how long ago did the affairs happen and how pre-meditated were they?
  10. maybe give each other a period of time like 3 month to see how things go? since it is a 8 year relationship..
  11. Well, maybe he won't cheat again (but I doubt that) BUT will she be able to trust him again? The relationship won't work if she is constantly doubting him, wonders where he is, gets jealous if she sees him with other girls, etc. I don't think many relatioships can get past the broken trust. It will always be in the back of her mind and cause some strain on the relationship. Fights after this will be magnified because it will always be easy to bring up the cheating factor. So hard to let it go. But, she may be able to be the bigger person and let it go and he may be one of the few that never cheats again.
  12. Doubtful...

    I was an extreme cheater while I was with my first BF. It was just a messed up situation... we got together when I was 16 and he was 27, among many other things. :push: I don't know if this is true, but for me, it felt like after I'd cheated on him once or twice, it almost got to be a habit. I knew he'd take me back. It was almost "okay." I probably cheated at least ten times. Oh, Jesus, I sound horrible now... I was young and stupid. And often drunk.

    Now I'm with my current BF, and I haven't cheated, haven't wanted to... haven't even considered it. I'm reformed. :love:

    Knowing how I felt about it, though... I think the "Once a cheater, always a cheater" thing is true for any given relationship... not the person in general, KWIM? I'm sure there are lots of other opinions... and people who have cheated once and never done it again...
  13. SO true!

    I love my current relationship... we've never done anything to mess up our trust in each other, and it's fab. :love:
  14. I wouldn't marry this guy, no matter how long I've been with him. My father cheated on my Mom when we were growing up, and I could never get involved in such a destructive relationship seeing how much my Mom was hurt.

    Now in a long time relationship myself (6 years), my bf knows that it's all over if he ever cheats on me. Infidelity is just something that hits too close to home, and is something I won't compromise on.

    Sending your friend all the best thoughts...
  15. When you say "twice," does that mean he had two stupid hook-ups with an ex or two long-term behind-her-back relationships? Because let's say these were just lapses in judgment that happened years ago with someone he really used to care about - really terrible still, but it's something to consider, and if that was the case, it is possible that he wouldn't do it again.