Working with someone you depise... and who despises you!

  1. Any experiences to share?
  2. Most of my job experiences have been positive, thankfully. Only once did I work with someone who hated me, and that was my boss at senior citizen's home. He was a pastor and he told me to my face that he felt that I was a sinful person with hate in my heart (even though I had never once treated anybody there with anything other than respect and kindness). He told me that my piercings were disgusting and he felt that I was not a "proper" young lady.

    I was 14 at the time, and I was naturally very hurt. But I stuck with the job until I had to return to school.
  3. Sure! It is a painful place to be, but oddly one of the best lessons you can learn. If you develop the ability to navigate around this person you will be able to do it again and again in life. That said, if the person is abusive or says or does things that are inappropirate, all bets are off and the person needs to be brought to the HR table, and fast.
    How in the world could anyone not love you, anyway?
  4. i work with a girl that i totally and utterly despise - she's incompetant, she lies to customers and to her coworkers, she makes everyone's job harder, she's a brown-noser, she has the most annoying laugh in the history of man, and she never stops talking. ever. oddly enough, she really likes me quite a bit. it hasn't caused any problems for me, because all of my coworkers and managers feel the same way about her as i do, so i just ignore her and avoid her as much as possible. eventually she'll do something really bad and get fired.
  5. Fresh out of college, I got my first job and had to work closely w/3 other women, in a building full of women. After about 3 mo., I could feel instinctively that something wasn't right, would walk in and they'd shut up, and so many things that were of a jr. high mentality that I won't go into. I confronted one day, they explained that I was 'too independent' and 'never needed their help' (I chose to get there a few hours before them and leave a few after...and didn't feel the need to go on every rr/coffee/copy machine break w/them either).
    It really never got better...for four years I worked there and by the last year I knew I had to quit as I was throwing up at work or on the way about every day. I couldn't say anything that they wouldn't question or turn my words around. They just didn't like me.
    As well, I made a decision that first year to tell no one I worked w/ as not to be at their level of gossip, so that was actually hard and lonely. I got along fabulously w/everyone else.
    FAst forward 10 years later...they've all personally apologized and told me they were jealous (???still don't know of what) and they were young and insecure. We actually meet for dinner/drinks every so often. I appreciate their apologies and I've forgiven them (not forgotten...still guarded around them)
    I learned a lot through that experience...both how to handle myself and how not to.
  6. Yes, I sure have. Most recently in the job I left after over 7 years (and quite a few re-organizings/job changes).

    I worked for a slimey a-hole who really had us all fooled when he came to our branch to turn things around after we had a ton of upper level management attrition. Bottom line: when you are starving, even rotten food looks good. We had no leadership; he was enthusiastic and we bought his deal hook, line and sinker.

    I got pulled into a "promotion" with him which turned out to be a very nearly-derailing event in my career, a blemish I'm not proud of. Then, after I moved out of his realm (but still at the same company), I worked for the most passive aggressive man on earth. We simply couldn't stand eachother. Plot twist? A year prior he had worked for ME!

    Oy, it was too much. Just the catalysts I needed to get outta there. Now I'm truly happy in my current job. :yahoo:
  7. My only advice would be to avoid the person as much as possible, and maybe even look for a new job! I knew a girl in my major in college (a small major where we all knew each other, and there was a lot of interaction becauase everything was project-based) who apparently completely hated/resented me. I never had a problem with her before that, just thought she was mildly annoying. Anyway, found the best thing was just to avoid any contact with her and do my best not to let her poison me with her jealousy.

  8. When I first started out in the company, I was in training with this... "woman." In training she was already yelling at people for stupid stuff... I decided she def. wasn't one I wanted on my bad side. So for a year I went totally out of my way to be nice to her. We're talking birthday cards... I bought her some cute little strawberry shortcake dolls for her once, etc. One day she got caught doing some shady stuff with her work and then BLAMED IT ON ME. Of course our senior knew she was full of it, but I stopped talking to her pretty much. From then on out she clearly had it out for me. I'm not even sure what I did to make me her scapegoat. She turns me in for the stupidest BS... Told my boss I was "stealing" her work, said that I slam stuff in my cube all day (Man, I seriously don't make a sound. I sit there and listen to my iPod all day.) Meanwhile she takes extra long lunches and breaks, has these loud conversations with somebody sitting in a cube over a row and down some (yes, yells over the cube walls), talks on her cell phone multiple times a day (totally not allowed)... lies about how much work she does an hour to compensate for all the time she spends talking, emailing, etc. :shrugs:

    Fortunately... the company policy is that we MUST turn people in for the things they do that are out of compliance... if we don't, we get in just as much trouble if they find out we knew and didn't say anything. :whistle:
    I hate my job and loathe every second I spend there. :sigh:
  9. Irishgal has nailed it!

    The best practical advice I can give is pretty obvious - do everything possible to minimize the need to be in each others' presence, keep communication limited to what is job-necessary, and be cordial and professional.

    And if you find that it is adversely affecting your ability to DO your job, don't agonize over whether it should or not, just get a different job.

    You may have a lot of jobs in your lifetime, but only one you - so which one you gonna take the best care of, huh? :biggrin:
  10. Actually I never had any bad experiences w/ my workers, but I should mention that I find it very hard to work w/ my brother. We always seem to have few things to argue about..
  11. I used to have a temp job where this one girl hated me and another temp. I think it was jealousy because she found out we both made more than her and she was a permanent employee. However, we both had degrees and she didn't!

    She tried to get us both fired by going to the CEO of the company and tattling on us for playing solitaire on the computer one day when it was slow. She also told about some other girl who was always talking on the phone. She really must have been a miserable person.

    She started getting these prank calls one day that really freaked her out. Little did I know it was a friend of mine doing it. I was kind of pissed at him at first but now I laugh about it.
  12. a co worker is one thing, a boss you despise and who feels the same way about you is a totally different level....


    ^ that's an electric chair BTW
  13. My boss hates me. Because I dress colorful and they wear black. Tsk Tsk.
  14. Oh been there too. it was simple enough, i just conformed and wore black and white and occasionally blue. nothing else!