Will I ever be satisfied?

Leileka

Member
Dec 28, 2017
701
2,236
Maybe is the pandemic, maybe it’s just me, but I’m starting to get worried about always being on the hunt for the next bag.
After curating my collection and re-homeming popular bags that didn’t make my heart sing, I ended up with 10 H quota bags and 7 H non-quota bags.
Before telling the tale, let’s make it clear that, at this point, there isn’t a bag that I really need, but yet many that I madly want.
So, I have started the year thinking that I could add another RGHW B in a lighter color, another red B/K (because why not) or teal B/K (possibly Vert Veronese or Atoll) and, of course, a Kelly To Go, if I could find one.
Long story short, with the help of my lovely SA, DH and a trip to France, I managed to fulfill my 2020 wishlist :biggrin:
Excellent right? No, of course not. :no:
I know how fortunate I am and how grateful I should be, but even though I desperately want another bag and I can’t stop thinking of where and how am I going to get it as fast as possible.
Now tell me: am I too obsessed? Is this normal? Are you the same?
What should I do?
 

anna2b2

Member
Aug 14, 2020
56
132
It takes me a long time to decide on making a purchase when it comes to something expensive. Sometimes a few months and sometimes over a year. I have noticed that taking some time often helps you evaluate if you truly want the item, or if you're just "convinced" you like it due to Instagram etc. I would take some time and really think about your purchase, I have noticed that the most exciting phase of buying something is the moment before you actually buy.
 

Israeli_Flava

Counting My Blessings 1 Birkin At A Time ;)
O.G.
Nov 26, 2009
22,728
18,579
Birkin Bliss
Bottom line: Yes, I think you are obsessed and I feel you need to slow down and enjoy.
Somehow you have become consumed with the chase so nothing is fulfilling you.
Maybe it is the pandemic bc this situation makes many people feel out of control.
In order to feel some sense of control, we shop (hoard ie. toliet paper). Maybe something else.
But I think you know there is something deep going on here or you would not have started the thread.
I am not one to psychoanalyze... especially NOT about chasing coveted H bags bc that would just be downright hypocritical.
Do I understand what you're doing? Yes. Do I think it's normal? Not sure. Might be normal with ppl on this forum.

But aside from the reasons why, let's put it into perspective....
Is all of this shopping/obsessing hurting you financially or straining your relationships?
Do your bags give you great pleasure?

If it's not hurting you financially or straining your relationships and you are happy, then HAPPY SHOPPING! :flowers:
If the opposite is true... then we should continue to dig deep. Only you can answer.... xo
 
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Leileka

Member
Dec 28, 2017
701
2,236
:smile:Take a time out & enjoy your collection of bags.. it's like stop & smell the roses..IYKWIM
Thank you for your reply dear! I do enjoy my bags more than any other material things I have. I even have all of them exposed around my bedroom since the beginning of the pandemic to make me happy and also to remind me that I don’t need more bags :giggle:
I’ve been trying to convince myself that I can take a break and the bags will still be out there waiting for me. But in this case, who knows? :girlsigh:
 

Leileka

Member
Dec 28, 2017
701
2,236
It takes me a long time to decide on making a purchase when it comes to something expensive. Sometimes a few months and sometimes over a year. I have noticed that taking some time often helps you evaluate if you truly want the item, or if you're just "convinced" you like it due to Instagram etc. I would take some time and really think about your purchase, I have noticed that the most exciting phase of buying something is the moment before you actually buy.
Oh dear, you are so right! If only I could be this balanced! Funny thing is that I don’t even look at Instagram to find inspiration. I think it’s more because of my matchy-matchy personality. I want to cover all my possible choices of outfits - and if you consider H colors, it can actually lead to infinite possibilities :panic:
 

Madelineng

New Member
Jul 27, 2020
4
3
Oh i feel you, I’m only 2 months into the “game” and I want every possible H BCK, to gos etc I think I’m overwhelming my SA :lol: I have a B and K from this 2 months game, and can’t wait for the next one. It’s a sickness I think.. :lol::lol:
 
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TeeCee77

Member
Nov 15, 2015
2,142
14,871
Hi - Repeat offender of the “just one more B/K and then I’m done” club here :wave:
I think your feeling is normal, I also love the chase. But I agree with the others that it is good to step back and reflect on what you have, and try to use them. When I find myself lusting for another bag, I go play with the ones I have and take them out. These days they hardly get used so I try to talk myself out of another bag that won’t get used. Maybe just spend some time playing with what you have. With H, there is always going to be another bag and another must have color. Try taking a little break!
 

Leileka

Member
Dec 28, 2017
701
2,236
Bottom line: Yes, I think you are obsessed and I feel you need to slow down and enjoy.
Somehow you have become consumed with the chase so nothing is fulfilling you.
Maybe it is the pandemic bc this situation makes many people feel out of control.
In order to feel some sense of control, we shop (hoard ie. toliet paper). Maybe something else.
But I think you know there is something deep going on here or you would not have started the thread.
I am not one to psychoanalyze... especially NOT about chasing coveted H bags bc that would just be downright hypocritical.
Do I understand what you're doing? Yes. Do I think it's normal? Not sure. Might be normal with ppl on this forum.

But aside from the reasons why, let's put it into perspective....
Is all of this shopping/obsessing hurting you financially or straining your relationships?
Do your bags give you great pleasure?

If it's not hurting you financially or straining your relationships and you are happy, then HAPPY SHOPPING! :flowers:
If the opposite is true... then we should continue to dig deep. Only you can answer.... xo
Dear @Israeli_Flava, thank you so much for your honesty. I totally agree with you. I AM OBSESSED.
No, it’s not hurting me financially and neither straining my relationships (although when it comes to friends it somehow makes us a little distant since it’s not something you can openly share, but this is a subject for another thread).
My DH is very supportive and respectful regarding my H addiction because 1) I pay for it; 2) He can see that it brings me a lot of joy and my life is not easy.
So, on one hand I could keep going like this, but on the other I’m becoming tired of never being fulfilled and more than this, it’s exhausting to always want the exact bag that I don’t have. Why do I have to think that the most beautiful bag is the one that I still don’t have? I have the most amazing bags, precisely the ones I wanted, so why be so anxious to get the new blue/green/pink/neutral...it’s a never ending desire. For the first time in this journey I feel like I need some peace. Maybe is the pandemic! :frown:
 

acrowcounted

Uh oh...
O.G.
Feb 10, 2007
5,813
13,123
I don’t think it is normal for someone this far along on their H journey. Maybe for folks chasing their first or second bag but after that, usually some peace comes with knowing that the next bag will come in due time without the obsessive plotting. I’m personally invested with the brand because I see gaining knowledge and de puzzling the mystique as sort of a fun hobby. I enjoy a new bag offer but not getting them doesn’t bring me anxiety or unease. But I’m a pretty go-with-the-flow personality type to begin with.

What about the acquisitions appeals to you?
Is it the “winning of the H game”? If so, you’ve gotten over ten quota bags already so have already “won”. Also, it seems like even the difficult to get sizes are being readily sold these days so the ‘accomplishment’ and the ‘impressiveness‘ is far diminished in my eyes.
Is it the exclusiveness of owning a B/K? If so, it seems like more people than ever have them (or passable fakes) and it’s not so elite anymore. Plus, as just pointed out, you’ve already owned several.
Is it that you just think they are beautiful? If so, you can admire them without having to own them. You’ll never own all of them so at some point you have to draw the line of ‘enough’. Maybe that line is here.
Is it the fear of missing out? If so, they will always be available on the resale market so there really is not any urgency.

If you keep buying them and yet keep feeling this way, what is the point in buying them at all? You’ve proven that you’ll feel this way regardless so you might as well have the money in your account instead. I think it’s time to maybe consider what you think you get out of these purchases, then evaluate if you really do get that from the purchases (apparently not), and then find other ways to get whatever it is successfully instead or see someone if you find you are just unpleasantly anxious all the time. Good luck.
 

Leileka

Member
Dec 28, 2017
701
2,236
Oh i feel you, I’m only 2 months into the “game” and I want every possible H BCK, to gos etc I think I’m overwhelming my SA :lol: I have a B and K from this 2 months game, and can’t wait for the next one. It’s a sickness I think.. :lol::lol:
That’s the problem. You are 2 months into it and you are going to your 3rd bag! It’s super fast, but at least you have a reason for it. I’ve been doing this for 7 years and for the last 4 years I’ve bought quota bags in many countries. Is this really necessary? I think that getting offers makes us feel special or maybe the whole experience is just magic. There is definitely something special about it. :girlsigh:
 

Leileka

Member
Dec 28, 2017
701
2,236
Hi - Repeat offender of the “just one more B/K and then I’m done” club here :wave:
I think your feeling is normal, I also love the chase. But I agree with the others that it is good to step back and reflect on what you have, and try to use them. When I find myself lusting for another bag, I go play with the ones I have and take them out. These days they hardly get used so I try to talk myself out of another bag that won’t get used. Maybe just spend some time playing with what you have. With H, there is always going to be another bag and another must have color. Try taking a little break!
Oh gosh, I know right? Just one more and this will be the last! And now I want to convince myself that the reason why I want one more is because the one that I don’t have is the one that I actually want more than the others. So, obviously, this IS the last one!
What about this: I’ll get this last one and then I’m done! :giggle:
In the meanwhile I’ve been playing with the bags because it’s really not a good time to take them out. Such a shame...hope it gets better somehow sooner than later, not only because of bags, of course. :sad:
 

880

30th anniversary cuff
O.G.
Aug 31, 2008
8,372
11,573
As some have pointed out above, it’s an individual choice how fast to acquire and when to stop. At some point, you may reach a point where your collection seems stable and you are happy with it. I came to a natural pause (due to other interests, namely, george Jensen silver, luxury watches and RTW) but really bc my H SA left for a different profession. I have only just returned lately to Hermes purchases and have reshaped my collection around vintage saddle leather birkin30s. I will say that spending time on the forum does tend to make me more interested in purchasing, but right now, bc of covid, I decided it was absolutely fine. If you are happy and fulfilled and can afford it, don’t be too hard on yourself and enjoy. many of us have been there! :smile: I did find myself buying more Goyard when I got tired of carrying all that weight. H can be heavy ;)
P.S. I don’t think of limiting myself like, only one more. To me, that might trigger the opposite effect. It would be like saying to myself, I will only have this last delicious cookie. It doesn’t work for me JMO
edit: 17 H bags would not seem like an unreasonable amount to many of us, but we tend to enable here :smile:
 
Last edited:
Nov 6, 2017
340
956
I think it's normal / natural.

Having something to look forward to and that feeling of 'winning' when you get the bag? So great.

It's also exacerbated by the fact that you can't go in and see the bag you are after, it leaves much to the imagination so you can have fun with it.

I speak as someone who experiences this myself. As other people have commented, there probably is other stuff going on below the surface but as long as you arent hurting yourself / others, well there are worse ways to let off some steam.

I too obsess and it helps to know that if i ever change my mind, well i can always sell it off. it's a dangerous game!
 

Leileka

Member
Dec 28, 2017
701
2,236
I don’t think it is normal for someone this far along on their H journey. Maybe for folks chasing their first or second bag but after that, usually some peace comes with knowing that the next bag will come in due time without the obsessive plotting. I’m personally invested with the brand because I see gaining knowledge and de puzzling the mystique as sort of a fun hobby. I enjoy a new bag offer but not getting them doesn’t bring me anxiety or unease. But I’m a pretty go-with-the-flow personality type to begin with.

What about the acquisitions appeals to you?
Is it the “winning of the H game”? If so, you’ve gotten over ten quota bags already so have already “won”. Also, it seems like even the difficult to get sizes are being readily sold these days so the ‘accomplishment’ and the ‘impressiveness‘ is far diminished in my eyes.
Is it the exclusiveness of owning a B/K? If so, it seems like more people than ever have them (or passable fakes) and it’s not so elite anymore. Plus, as just pointed out, you’ve already owned several.
Is it that you just think they are beautiful? If so, you can admire them without having to own them. You’ll never own all of them so at some point you have to draw the line of ‘enough’. Maybe that line is here.
Is it the fear of missing out? If so, they will always be available on the resale market so there really is not any urgency.

If you keep buying them and yet keep feeling this way, what is the point in buying them at all? You’ve proven that you’ll feel this way regardless so you might as well have the money in your account instead. I think it’s time to maybe consider what you think you get out of these purchases, then evaluate if you really do get that from the purchases (apparently not), and then find other ways to get whatever it is successfully instead or see someone if you find you are just unpleasantly anxious all the time. Good luck.
Dear @acrowcounted ,
I had to dig deep into my consciousness to think about what you’ve pointed out and I realized that, apart from the exclusivity, my joy and anxiety come from all the other aspects of the “hunt”. It’s a hobby for me too and a good one, since it’s also a good investment (and it helps a lot to know that I can have my money back whenever I get tired of it all - btw, during pandemic it was by far the best of all my investments). Anyhow, if it’s an addiction, it’s much better than gambling :giggle:
About gambling, yes, winning here has a special taste and I’ve accomplished a lot. I have 10 quota bags, but I have re-homed 8, so I’ve been through the exciting process of winning enough to know that it’s super special and absolutely different than buying from a reseller. I do have a B bought from a reseller because I couldn’t bear not having that color in my collection anymore and because it was a super trustworthy reseller with a return policy.”
Then comes the fear of missing out. That’s a big one. This drives me crazy! And I can’t bring myself to accept that it is ok to buy it in the future from a reseller because it is not the same, specially when you can buy it for half the price in the store. Every new collectionsee the new greens...omg, I want all of them and I can’t wait! :panic:
Obviously, all of these argument are being considered in order to justify myself without getting to explain why it takes so little to get over the excitement of the new purchase and go back to the hunt. Don’t get me wrong, I madly love my bags and I need to see and touch and smell them sometimes, sometimes every day. I’m just never satisfied!
Finally, I may be totally wrong and blind, but there is this one bag that I think could bring me the peace I’m looking for. It’s in my wishlist, but it’s a hard one because the color is not in production, although it’s been popping up here and there. I have the feeling that I may be closer now...
Thank you for your thoughts :flowers: I accept that on the top of it I might actually be obsessed.
Xx