"Why don't you sell a bag to buy your own engagement ring?"

aegisshi

aegisshi

Member
Mar 18, 2014
1,075
0
#1
Hi TPFers! It's been a little bit since I've posted on here... I have been so busy since fall semester started! Huge workload this semester, I hope I can make it. Anyway, I kind of just needed somewhere to vent about some comments that my coworkers made recently, and I figured everyone here of all people would probably understand the best.

Some background info: I've actually resorted to just telling these girls I work with that my aunt who is very well off and gifts me with my LVs or that my boyfriend bought something for me, when in fact I've purchased almost all of them on my own. My coworkers and I don't make much income, but unlike them, I am really good with budgeting my money to the point where I can afford the nicer things. It's not like I walk into work bragging about the nice things I have. I simply use these items like any regular bag or SLG.

"Why don't you sell a bag to buy your own engagement ring?"

Some of the girls and I were talking last night about our living situations with our respective boyfriends. Out of all of us, I have been living with mine the longest and we share an apartment. One of them is about to move into her boyfriend's house so we got on the subject of her situation. I mentioned that my boyfriend prefers to buy as opposed to renting (feels it's throwing away money), but I said I don't want to move into a house that he buys unless we are married. While he understood why, he didn't like that... but he asked me, "What if we just got engaged first? Would you be willing to move into a house I buy?" After thinking about it, I agreed that would be something I would do.

One of the girls (I'll call her "D") made a comment: "Why don't you just sell one of your nice *** bags and buy your own engagement ring? Problem solved."

My automatic response to that was, "Regardless of how I get my money, buying my own engagement ring sort of defeats the purpose of it!" I mean honestly. I have heard of couples going dutch on the engagement rings nowadays, but to go as far as buying your own ring? I am in no way trying to say that women can't buy themselves nice things, but I just don't think we should be buying our own (not paying 100% for it anyway). Just because I have LVs, these girls think that they can make comments like these.

I think this one made me even more mad because this is coming from a girl who cannot go an hour without smoking cigarettes or weed. She even admitted to me that she can't remember the last time she was actually completely sober. Maybe if she stopped spending money on weed and cigarettes, she could actually pay her rent on time or afford to pay her water bill so she can bathe for once...

"Tell me why your little key thing cost you $250."

I bought a mono 6-key holder with mimosa interior as a small birthday treat last month. Our incompetent joke of a manager, "J", asked me last night why it cost me $250. Automatically I asked, "You actually went on the Louis website and looked it up?" She answered yes, because after seeing mine she suddenly wanted one and checked to see if she could afford it. J has a habit of copying from me. She thought Michael Kors was ridiculously expensive when we first met and I was obsessed at the time. A couple months later she was texting me, asking for my opinion on some MK bags she was looking at. When I said, "I thought you said MK was ridiculous" she said that I sparked her interest. I have a Tiffany necklace my boyfriend had given me for a past birthday (Elsa Peretti heart), and next thing I know she's sending me texts asking what I thought about a Tiffany necklace she wanted to buy for herself (Elsa Peretti bean--the most similar to the EP heart). Most recently, I bought a Lilly Pulitzer agenda and even though she already had an agenda from a different company, she went and bought the same agenda on the day she saw mine.

I have a problem with her thinking it's ridiculous for me to spend $250 on an SLG because this is the same girl who gets her hair done RELIGIOUSLY at the most expensive salon in town every 4-6 weeks (cut AND color), gets her nails AND toes done RELIGIOUSLY every two weeks with the pricier gel options, is always buying new clothes or shoes or make-up, etc. I don't do ANY of that, yet I'm being scrutinized for spending less money on one item that is going to last me forever.

Sorry for writing a novel here, but these comments aren't the first and won't be the last. I'm just getting tired of it and wanted to vent. I know I shouldn't let others opinions or comments bother me, and for the most part I don't. The engagement ring comment really ticked me off though.
 
#2
The lady who copies you obviously thinks you have great taste - take it as a compliment.


The rest ... rise above it and ignore it. If you stop responding to such comments then they will tire of passing such comments.
 
#3
Ignore ridiculous! You owe no one an explanation for what you spend and how! We all have our vices - I just think people are quick to judge without looking at their own vice.


Be Blessed MoNikki
 
#4
Firstly, I'm sure it was a load off to put down your thoughts here. Some people just don't have the tools to think(meaning the people at your work). I hear what you're saying when you mention how you budget and what you choose to spend money on when in essence you all seem to be on equal pay. I remember when I was 28 and bought a condo, my coworkers couldn't understand how I saved the money for it and could afford the mortgage by myself. That day we had a talk...I asked him what do you spend your money on? And I added, all that adds up...think if you cut back on all that, you too would have a down payment and afford a mortgage (I agree with your bf here on buying instead of renting). And honestly, he said he never thought of it that way. Might be as simple as people doubting themselves. That coworker ended up buying his own condo few years later. If anything, maybe one day your words (or actions) will empower someone else to think differently. In the meantime, do your own thing.
 
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#5
I think you should step up the people you associate with. Maybe changes jobs and work with more professional people. These people sound like trash...plain and simple. Sorry, you asked.
 
#6
Well, on spending it is very easy to understand. We all have a certain amount of money and by keeping the amount of money outside as we not allways are able to compare ... We spend it on things we need or love. What might be your scale point one is number ten to someone else ... That is normal and we all have to grow up and understand that we can not afford all number one points of our friends, so its always a choice, hairdo and mani and padi OR SLG every now and than or Something nice of Tiffany ...

Just be nice and make a compliment on the other girls spending points. It will do her good to her that she looks good and you recorgnize it, but dont spend your money on this, as it is not your first love .... To the weed girl .... Wish her well and the strengh to face her fear one day to overcome it. She is under stress and pushes herself deeper every single day. Poor girl.

I never talk about my LV, IMO people who wanna talk the price, talk negative, I dont answer just say that I love it and WE ALL SPEND OUR MONEY ON SOMETHING ... if talk is about beauty of LV, I only agree and state, that I love my husbands gift. Most people are not jealous if it is a DHs gift.

Engagement ring .... If a man loves you, he has the guts to buy and surprise you with a lovely ring! But I would like to tell every girl wishing for it, dont be an expensive girl, looking for luxury everywhere, those scare the guys away as they are looking for the hope to spend enough bugs to make you happy on the easy way .... Just some wise words aside .... If your guy sees you happy with his choice he will love to make you happy again!
 
#7
Don't hang out with these people. They obviously have major issues. You deserve better. Unless they are dishing you out money, they have no right to be making such comments about what you buy for yourself using your own hard earned cash!!!
 
#8
Some people feel the need to comment on other's lives because they are insecure and unhappy. There are people who truly could care less about luxury goods. There are others who make negative comments because they want them but don't want to admit it so they don't want you to have them if they can't. I completely feel you on the engagement ring. Your manager was probably unaware of the fact that LV and Tiffany were attainable until she realized that you had these items. I have had people do the same thing to me...they usually don't comment because I have a no-nonsense/no foolishness policy, LOL! But I have had people show interest and then attain similar if not the same items. People's negative comments come from insecurity and jealousy. We all spend our money the way we want to...there are some things I am not willing to pay for so I don't, but that doesn't mean that anyone else should feel the way I do. Just keep doing what makes you happy!
 
#9
I used to work with people like that at my old school. A couple of times I was uncomfortable carrying my LV as they all went on and on how ridiculous it is to spend over $100 on a bag. Many of them had inexpensive department store bags or Coach bags they got on sale. I didn't stop carrying my bags though and I made sure not to talk about bags with them. They would just go on berating people- saying how ridiculous people were to spend 1000's on a purse and go on about LV or Chanel.


When I worked at a bank in NY there was one girl who would always look at catalogs and pass them around. She would always ask me what I liked and then a week later those exact items I liked would be delivered to the office for her! She would even open up the packages and put them on my desk, saying "Look what I got!" She was so insecure she couldn't even pick out her own Victoria Secret pajamas. After that I'd make sure to pick out things I hated and then she'd order them LOL.


There are so many jealous people out there and as other members have said everyone chooses to spend money in their own way. My brother in law spends thousands a month on fuel for his boat but his whole family wears very very cheap clothes and no expensive jewelry or watches, etc. He has his own priorities.


As for the engagement ring, my ex and I didn't have a lot of money so we pooled our finances and I went to the diamond district with my sister and picked it out myself!! I made sure to get exactly what I wanted. It wasn't romantic but my ring was gorgeous and I got an awesome deal! I've read too many stories where people hate their ring and then feel guilty about it. Don't let your co-workers make you feel bad or guilty about your bags. I would just keep saving for the ring and enjoy my bags.
Sorry for the long post!
 
#11
I hope venting helped. Everyone spends their money on different things. A lot of people don't understand when yours varies from theirs and they feel the need to comment on it when it's really none of their business.
 
#13
I'm sorry you have to deal with such crass, nosy comments especially from your boss! It's good that you were able to vent and get it out here. I agree with what others have posted - it's none of their business and keep rising above the cattiness. You don't owe any of them an explanation for anything. The key holder costs $250 because that's what LV charges for it. I am so lucky that I don't work with buttinskis like this.
 
#14
Don't let them get to you. They sound like my mom. She is really bad with money and paying bills on time so when I told her about my first LV bag she immediately said, "Do you know how many bills I can pay with that?" My response was just that my husband and I aren't behind on our bills so its okay... You have absolutely nothing to prove to those people. Just watch the look on their faces when you show up to work one day with your LV bag (that you didn't sell) AND a new engagement ring! :biggrin:
 
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