Why can't I use a handbag/purse?

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  1. Why is it that guys can't carry around purses? The other day, I found a great macy's coupon for a purse that I really liked. It wasn't girly, but it wasn't ugly either. So I bought it. I personally don't see a problem using a handbag, but all of my friends have started making fun of me and my "murse". I found it very convenient, besides worrying about it when have to put it down. But I stopped using it about five days after buying it because I was tired of the ridicule.
  2. It is very unfair - especially from the practical point of view.

    Bags are one of the few perks of being female.

    Makes me glad to be woman!:biggrin:
  3. Maybe it is a geographical issue? Because I live in LA and I see guys wearing "murse" quite often and I feel OK with it and I believe most of us are, too.... My husband uses it occasionally whenever he goes on a plane trip or going with my son without me...you know, to bring kid's necessities. I think anybody can wear a purse and look dashing in it....:biggrin::biggrin:
  4. Murse, that's a first for me! Post a pic!
    Personally, i think it's okay for guys to carry man bags.
  5. Hmm I don't see any issue with men carrying bags, personally. That sucks that you're getting ridiculed for it. :sad: Maybe getting a larger tote style bag or a messenger bag might help?
  6. Well, you're not going to get ridiculed here so breath easy.

    I can think of 2 men off the top of my head who regularly carry a bag.
    They are very manly looking bags, but bags nonetheless.
  7. I say go for it! Those who ridicule others, always do so because of their own issues. Sometimes it takes courage to be a little different, but it's worth it to follow the beat of your own drummer.
  8. #8 Jul 9, 2009
    Last edited: Jul 9, 2009
    Women can't possibly be the only sex that needs to carry things larger than or exclusive to a wallet, keys, and cell phone. We know guys would like to carry their little game system, magazine, shades, umbrella, agenda, etc., and I often see them do so in a schoolboy backpack or messenger bag that I think is just blah. Unfortunately, I know a lot of women on TPF who actually have problem with guys carrying man bags unless it's a suitcase or something "traditionally" masculine (because I've seen their posts about how man purses are not manly and a turnoff), but I don't see anything feminine about it- it just depends on the style of the purse itself. I certainly wouldn't have a prob if my SO carried a man bag as it would 1.) look more stylish than his blah backpack or messenger bag and 2.) it's a change from carrying his things every now and then.

    Seriously, I really would like to see the day when guys carrying purses as their own is ubiquitous.

    Oh, and I would like to add that on my latest trip to Atlantic City, NJ, I encountered a tall, stocky man in his middle age carrying a large handbag that a lot of people would consider feminine. It just had top handles and no other strap, a giraffe print all over the body, some bold hardware, and shiny black accents. The man was very masculine in demeanor and fashion. It was just the bag that people would most definitely find girly although no one said anything to him about it- at least while I was standing there. He just nonchalantly pointed to his bag and said that he was going to eat his lunch and dig in it to see where he had put his free buffet ticket.
  9. I live on the East Coast and have seen guys carrying gorgeous, very high-end bags in NYC (LV Speedy, etc.) and I think it's fabulous! Have you ever seen the pics of Marc Jacobs with his amazing Birkin? My father and brother-in-law also carry small cross-body bags, and it's no big deal where they live (Spain).

    I say go for it if you want to carry a handbag of any style -- it's a fantastic (not to mention practical) way to express yourself. The men on TPF never fail to impress me with their amazing taste.
  10. I think it depends on the bag. My dh often carries a messenger bag, but that is because he usually has to carry a laptop with him. Most people wouldn't bat an eye about a man carrying a messenger bag, and even a camera-type bag wouldn't be out of the question. But stereotypes persist, and many other people would and do ridicule a man who carries a handbag, just as people ridicule a man who chooses to wear garments not commonly donned by men. It may not be right, but it is the reality, so it all depends on how important your bag is to you. I imagine that most of your friends would get tired of teasing you about it and within time it would simply become a part of you, so you might want to stick it out to see if their childish tendencies decrease.
  11. I have seen plenty of guys wear messenger bags, crossbodies, and backpacks. I have also seen a few that use totes or 'manly' handbags. I don't see anything wrong with it. My BF doesn't use any of the above but when we are together he stuffs all his things in my purse for me to hold :rolleyes: so I figure that a lot of guys can find good use out of carrying a bag.
  12. I think it will be tough for men to overcome the men/purse boundary. Purses traditionally are a bastion of womanhood and female privacy. Most men do not want to be seen holding a purse that belongs to their wife/girlfriend/mother, and would not consider using a purse of their own because, in our culture, purses are considered feminine. (My son, who I had asked to hold my purse for a moment, dropped it:nono: because he was holding it from one finger, as far away from his body as possible.)

    In certain circles, a man carrying a woman's purse may be seen as avant garde or attractive, but in mainstream America, I can't see it flying. However, a man, of any persuasion, who carries a messenger bag, backpack, athletic-looking crossbody, or a briefcase would not draw unfavorable remarks.

    Is it fair? I don't think so, but I do value the differences in the sexes. I would never wish to have a society in which men and women looked and acted the same. I think lots of people agree with this sentiment because of the taboos that do exist. Even purse manufacturers, and their marketers, who have every reason to spread the joy of purses to the male gender, don't seem to want to take this bias on.
  13. Ever wonder if the people who ridicule you for carrying a purse are simply jealous?
    I personally do not have a problem with men carrying purses or anything else they desire and think the social stigmas against this are outdated and wrong.

    Men should be able to carry bags if they so desire and not have to be judged as feminine for doing so.
  14. From a praticality standpoint I think it would be great if us guys could carry a bag comfortably and not be rediculed although there are not many places in the US where we could do that. I do carry a LV Utah messenger bag. I dont carry it everyday although it would be nice and practical if I did. Too much stuff to carry and I hate having my wife carry it. I go to alot of seminars so I use it then as well as running errands around town (paying bills, etc) When I need to carry alot of things. I would like a small crossbody for everyday.

    Im really into handbags and buy my wife many desighner bags so I would love if it was acceptable where I live for a guy to carry a bag. Unfortunaly other than a messenger or a small musculine looking crossbody I would be in the same position as you so I know how you feel.

    I have a gucci belt bag I use when I go to the theme parks in Orlando or to the zoo with my kids. It's much more acceptable in Orlando for a guy to carry a bag with the many tourists from other countries. I also typically use a womens wallet (I have a coach and Fossil) because it's more functional (more card holders, picture window and change compartment. Both look unisex thoughand easily pass for a guys wallet, especially the Fossil.

    I would say If your comfortable carrying your bag....do it. regardles of what other say. If not then get a small messenger or a masculine crossbody bag. Im very comfortable carrying mine and have even had compliments from other guys.

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  15. Messenger bags, definitely. Handbags, still an "acquired taste" at least in the US. I am one who isn't at all charmed by the pic of Marc Jacobs with the Birkin and the odd cutoff pants. Fine, he's confident, but it still is for very, very few men.

    So I don't really see men with handbags as a trend at this time, but I like anyone who feels confident with her or his own style.