why can't I just be happy?!

#31
It's natural and healthy to want new things in your life. It doesn't always have to be about shopping, though. A new book, recipe, web site, outfit combination, workout or creative project will feed the need too. There is a very long "ban" thread in the handbags forum that talks about the psychology of all this.

I just have a rule to not buy it until I have gone home and thought about it for at least a week. Then I can assess how it will fit in. I still get the thrill of the hunt without the financial hit. It's also good practice on learning how to let things go.....
 
#32
cozyc said:
I am the same way. Sorry to say but I don't think there is the perfect bag. I watched a show on behaviors and they said we do what we do because when we "think" we found a great (bag (or whatever your thing is) we buy it and it releases a bunch of endorphins that feel good. Then when the feel good feelings start to fade we are in search for another feel good and on it goes. HTH it made perfect sense to me when I watched the program. They also said it was the same for all sorts of habits from shopping to gambling to pornography etc.
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That makes a lot of sense. Boy am I glad that I do not feel that way about my husband. marrying him and getting bored and moving on to my next conquest of someone more appealing. :smile: I do agree with what you say, but really, I need to search for a more affordable way of releasing endorphins. I am now addicted to carolines and it is soo soo expensive. From a simple satchel loving woman, I have moved right into the carolines.5 carolines are still not enough and I always have to find something to purchase every week. :graucho:
 
#33
Jesssh said:
It's natural and healthy to want new things in your life. It doesn't always have to be about shopping, though. A new book, recipe, web site, outfit combination, workout or creative project will feed the need too. There is a very long "ban" thread in the handbags forum that talks about the psychology of all this.

I just have a rule to not buy it until I have gone home and thought about it for at least a week. Then I can assess how it will fit in. I still get the thrill of the hunt without the financial hit. It's also good practice on learning how to let things go.....
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My bestfriend gave me that very same advice. No more impulse buying, sleep it off is what she always says :smile:
 
#34
cozyc said:
i am the same way. Sorry to say but i don't think there is the perfect bag. I watched a show on behaviors and they said we do what we do because when we "think" we found a great (bag (or whatever your thing is) we buy it and it releases a bunch of endorphins that feel good. Then when the feel good feelings start to fade we are in search for another feel good and on it goes. Hth it made perfect sense to me when i watched the program. They also said it was the same for all sorts of habits from shopping to gambling to pornography etc.
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this ^^
 
#35
You see? You are not alone. I do not have a big collection. I have 9 bags right now. I can't afford to buy bags all of the time. I am trying to sell 3 of them. I have tried to narrow myself down to one shoulder bag (Katarina), one small cross body bag (Poppy Liquid gloss patent cobalt), One larger cross body (Poppy Tangerne Swing Hobo) one Satchel (Black Laila), one Tote (Legacy Strip Glam) and maybe one Legacy Classic Duffle bag in the future. That way I have a variety and can stick to it because there is NO perfect bag. It's hard seeing all of the gorgeous bag reveals, but I have to stay realistic and get what I can afford without feeling guilty about spending the money. IF I want a different bag in one of those categories, then I have told myself that I would have to sell one to get one in it's place. It will be hard but I think this is how I will try to deal with the impulses.
 
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#36
pdxmatts said:
You see? You are not alone. I do not have a big collection. I have 9 bags right now. I can't afford to buy bags all of the time. I am trying to sell 3 of them. I have tried to narrow myself down to one shoulder bag (Katarina), one small cross body bag (Poppy Liquid gloss patent cobalt), One larger cross body (Poppy Tangerne Swing Hobo) one Satchel (Black Laila), one Tote (Legacy Strip Glam) and maybe one Legacy Classic Duffle bag in the future. That way I have a variety and can stick to it because there is NO perfect bag. It's hard seeing all of the gorgeous bag reveals, but I have to stay realistic and get what I can afford without feeling guilty about spending the money. IF I want a different bag in one of those categories, then I have told myself that I would have to sell one to get one in it's place. It will be hard but I think this is how I will try to deal with the impulses.
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I can never bring myself to part with any of my bags these days.

Three are very sentimental to me. Given to me as gifts. And the last two more are my favorites! I only have five right now, but there is a reason for their presence.

I admire you. I just can't do it!
 
#37
My closet looks like a bag boutique, too! It's like I have a short attention span when it comes to bags! I think I'm cured of the obsession and then WHAM! I start needing something new and different. Thank goodness for you gals and guys.
 
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#38
Robicslady said:
My closet looks like a bag boutique, too! It's like I have a short attention span when it comes to bags! I think I'm cured of the obsession and then WHAM! I start needing something new and different. Thank goodness for you gals and guys.
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mine, too! I actually consolidated my clothes this week - so I have more room to keep my bags!:P
 
#39
Reading all this makes me feel a lot better in a way, I thought I was crazy, I even considered going to a psychologist or something... All my life I've moved from one addiction to the other, I started with shoes in my high school years, moved over to Tous jewelry and bags during most of my first years in college, and Coach for the past 18 months.

I learned that in my case I have a peak, which is the stage I'm on right now with Coach, where I just want to have everything I see and like and then I eventually wake up and realize I have to stop and I do, but later I fall into something else...

When I was crazy about Tous jewelry I accumulated dozens of sets, mostly silver, but when I started working and the forum I used to participate on was shut down I also decided to stop going into their website and walking into the store and eventually grew out of it. I still buy that brand, but now I only get something if I really really love it and I try to budget myself, only allowing me to buy 2 sets a year (back then I used to get 2-3 a month!)

For Coach I started a ban this past weekend, I still have some pieces on their way and others I have to return, but my goal is to be able to walk in the store and go out empty handed. I'm going this friday to return 4 items and I keep telling myself "just return them and leave", hopefully I will. I'll stay on this forum because I love the energy here and I like admiring new things but I don't plan on buying anything else until October when the new legacy colorblock will be out, and that'll be one duffle.

I know I won't stop buying and doing the things I want, but It can get very dangerous when you don't set limits, so that's what I'm working on now.
 
#40
ChristinaDanise said:
I can never bring myself to part with any of my bags these days.

Three are very sentimental to me. Given to me as gifts. And the last two more are my favorites! I only have five right now, but there is a reason for their presence.

I admire you. I just can't do it!
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Well, I may not be getting any bags anytime soon because trying to sell the ones I have is proving difficult. Since when did eBay and Bonz buyers start asking you for lower offers when Best Offer isn't on my listings? I swear it's like CraigsList now :tdown: So, I guess my plan is working :giggles:
 
#41
I have the same problem with always looking for the next purse. I keep a promise to sell a bag if I buy a new bag. I now have a small collection of purses and that makes me happy. I am trying to do some major saving now so everything I buy has to be on sale too that helps with limit in my collection. As for the trill of the hunt... I admit that is me all the way! Shopping makes me happy.. so I decided to keep shopping as long as I follow my rules. I work lots of hours and have a very stressful job. Shopping after a hard month motivates me to work harder so I can buy what I like. My advise is find a happy medium limit yourself and enjoy!
 
#42
I am hoping all of these responses will help a little. You are not alone. I have been feeling a lot of the same things lately. You have received some really good advice and words of wisdom. I really like what Diva7633 had to say about getting a good inventory of what you have as well as "Sleeping" on a new want. As I get older I am seeing that I have a pretty obsessive personality. I am going to carry a different purse each day in order to really enjoy the ones I already have. You are probably about to slide right out of this funk. I appreciate your honesty.
 
#43
lovecoach85 said:
That makes a lot of sense. Boy am I glad that I do not feel that way about my husband. marrying him and getting bored and moving on to my next conquest of someone more appealing. :smile: I do agree with what you say, but really, I need to search for a more affordable way of releasing endorphins. I am now addicted to carolines and it is soo soo expensive. From a simple satchel loving woman, I have moved right into the carolines.5 carolines are still not enough and I always have to find something to purchase every week. :graucho:
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I do have to say in your defense the carolines are gorgeous bags! If you feel like 5 isn't enough it will probably be the same with 7 or even 10. And I know what you mean about a more affordable way as I need that too :smile: a lady I know was telling me how she was so addicted to nail polish and couldn't leave the store without buying at least one. I tried to be supportive but I was honestly thinking you are sooo lucky that you get to have nail polish as your "thing" instead of bags!!
 
#44
cellberry said:
Sad but i defn see this as being true, because I'll find a bag that i think is just perfect and then a few weeks later, its not doing it for me and im back to my search for the "perfect bag". So what do I do?!? How do i kick this?!
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I have been thinking about this a lot and I honestly think we have to just say "no" when we want something instantly and maybe set a rule or plan. Like I will reward myself with this new bag when I (save enough to pay cash, loose 10 pounds, exercise 3 times a week for a month, clean out the closets, part with two bags I don't use...etc) just fill in the blank. Making it something that is a treat instead of instant gratification. At least this is how I am going to attempt it for myself. Then hopefully by the time I do whatever I set out to do if it's an impulse buy I will be over it by then and if not I will really enjoy it, having (for lack of a better word earned it by setting boundaries for myself)
 
#45
cellberry said:
My bestfriend gave me that very same advice. No more impulse buying, sleep it off is what she always says :smile:
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It's a good rule of thumb...I usually try to do this for almost anything relatively expensive I'm thinking about. My dad had this drilled in my head since I was a teenager so I wouldn't blow all my hard earned money!
 
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