why can't I just be happy?!

cellberry

cellberry

Member
Mar 27, 2012
220
0
#1
Hey ladies and Gents, as I'm sitting here on my bed with handbags covering me, I sit here and wonder why can't i just find one bag that works for me?!? Everytime I place myself on a ban, I may do good for a few weeks and then I just 'have to have' another. I know this sounds crazy, but i really wish sometimes I could be one of those girls/guys who buy one handbag for that year or season and that's it until next time. I just can't seem to find that perfect bag and its so frustrating!!!

I use to say I would never buy the same bag in multiple colors, but now as I look at my collection I can say i lied to myself on that:sad: I sold off a few handbags on ebay and was happy that I had the strength to get rid of my growing collection, but then i just bought more in search of the perfect bag.

It just seems like every bag I own is missing one key element that i at least think would make it perfect. I've even looked at other brands, but i just can't see myself paying thousands of dollars on a bag that i can't absolutely say i will be pleased with for longer than a month the longest.

If anyone has advice please please help. I typically like shoulder bags in a neutral color (not black or brown) with a zippered top. The glam tote is way to big for me! I typically like roomier bags, an outside pocket would be nice but not a deal breaker. Leather. And the shoulder strap drop can not be to long!

Honestly I love my Audrey but there's no zipper, so I struggle with it sometimes. Please someone help. I seriously need help.
 
#3
cellberry said:
Hey ladies and Gents, as I'm sitting here on my bed with handbags covering me, I sit here and wonder why can't i just find one bag that works for me?!? Everytime I place myself on a ban, I may do good for a few weeks and then I just 'have to have' another. I know this sounds crazy, but i really wish sometimes I could be one of those girls/guys who buy one handbag for that year or season and that's it until next time. I just can't seem to find that perfect bag and its so frustrating!!!

I use to say I would never buy the same bag in multiple colors, but now as I look at my collection I can say i lied to myself on that:sad: I sold off a few handbags on ebay and was happy that I had the strength to get rid of my growing collection, but then i just bought more in search of the perfect bag.

It just seems like every bag I own is missing one key element that i at least think would make it perfect. I've even looked at other brands, but i just can't see myself paying thousands of dollars on a bag that i can't absolutely say i will be pleased with for longer than a month the longest.

If anyone has advice please please help. I typically like shoulder bags in a neutral color (not black or brown) with a zippered top. The glam tote is way to big for me! I typically like roomier bags, an outside pocket would be nice but not a deal breaker. Leather. And the shoulder strap drop can not be to long!

Honestly I love my Audrey but there's no zipper, so I struggle with it sometimes. Please someone help. I seriously need help.
Click to expand...

I'm the same way, which is why I don't buy expensive bags any longer. I enjoy the process of picking a bag, picking a color, agonizing over color etc and so I just stopped looking at pricey bags.

That said, have you seen the new legacy duffle? They keep showing it cross body which is a mistake. With the strap doubled it is the perfect shoulder hobo. It is coming in a lot of the non traditional neutrals like navy, gray, white.

I have similar taste to what you described and I really like my duffles.
 
#4
I am the same way. Sorry to say but I don't think there is the perfect bag. I watched a show on behaviors and they said we do what we do because when we "think" we found a great (bag (or whatever your thing is) we buy it and it releases a bunch of endorphins that feel good. Then when the feel good feelings start to fade we are in search for another feel good and on it goes. HTH it made perfect sense to me when I watched the program. They also said it was the same for all sorts of habits from shopping to gambling to pornography etc.
 
#5
cozyc said:
I am the same way. Sorry to say but I don't think there is the perfect bag. I watched a show on behaviors and they said we do what we do because when we "think" we found a great (bag (or whatever your thing is) we buy it and it releases a bunch of endorphins that feel good. Then when the feel good feelings start to fade we are in search for another feel good and on it goes. HTH it made perfect sense to me when I watched the program. They also said it was the same for all sorts of habits from shopping to gambling to pornography etc.
Click to expand...

Sad but i defn see this as being true, because I'll find a bag that i think is just perfect and then a few weeks later, its not doing it for me and im back to my search for the "perfect bag". So what do I do?!? How do i kick this?!
 
#6
pasdedeux1 said:
I'm the same way, which is why I don't buy expensive bags any longer. I enjoy the process of picking a bag, picking a color, agonizing over color etc and so I just stopped looking at pricey bags.

That said, have you seen the new legacy duffle? They keep showing it cross body which is a mistake. With the strap doubled it is the perfect shoulder hobo. It is coming in a lot of the non traditional neutrals like navy, gray, white.

I have similar taste to what you described and I really like my duffles.
Click to expand...

I haven't tried the duffle, I may have to sneak a peak at it. I try not to go into the stores as much because I end up leaving with another bag or lusting after one until I convince myself that i need it! Sad n alittle funny, but very true :sad:
 
#7
I guess because its handbags no one really takes my addiction seriously because its not a typical addiction I guess.. everyone on the outside just thinks I'm exaggerating.

I have noticed that whenever I get stressed or upset about something thats when the addiction is to much to handle and i go purse crazy and will just buy buy buy to fill some void.

.
*sigh*
 
#8
It is hard when you get in those cycles! Sometimes I think you just have to try to force yourself to take a step back and take a break. Kind of like when you try too hard to make something happen, it rarely works out.

I feel as if this last year or so I was buying more than usual and not always because I really loved a certain bag. I have definitely slowed down on the FP stuff--I realize I really like the ones I have and nothing has appealed to me since I bought my city willis bags. I was also on a short ebay spurt, and ended up returning 3 of 4 bags, so I am officially done with that. I just get tempted too easily, but am pretty serious about stopping this time.

One thing I learned too is that I thought I had to have a certain size/strap type to have the perfect bag, and when I went outside that I found other things I liked just as much or more. I thought I only liked shoulder until I got the willis-es and now I know I also like satchel style, and that crossbody comes in handy sometimes. That kind of thing..... so sometimes you can be surprised by how something different can work out.
 
#9
cellberry said:
I haven't tried the duffle, I may have to sneak a peak at it. I try not to go into the stores as much because I end up leaving with another bag or lusting after one until I convince myself that i need it! Sad n alittle funny, but very true :sad:
Click to expand...

I'm exactly the same...I can no longer shop in person at Hermes because that is how I ended up with 4 birkins. I love them, the colors, etc but I would buy the whole store if I could.

So now I go cheaper so I can buy as much as I want...coach, j. crew, etc. But I realized that I have a ton of bags I just don't really care for and it's making me a little sad since I hate clutter. Some of them are going to hit ebay in the next couple months I think.
 
#10
I am the same way, I get bored with my bags fast (usually) I have a few I go to frequently. But I know what you mean about trying to be a one bag person ... I remember those days... So very long ago .. LOL
cellberry said:
Hey ladies and Gents, as I'm sitting here on my bed with handbags covering me, I sit here and wonder why can't i just find one bag that works for me?!? Everytime I place myself on a ban, I may do good for a few weeks and then I just 'have to have' another. I know this sounds crazy, but i really wish sometimes I could be one of those girls/guys who buy one handbag for that year or season and that's it until next time. I just can't seem to find that perfect bag and its so frustrating!!!

I use to say I would never buy the same bag in multiple colors, but now as I look at my collection I can say i lied to myself on that:sad: I sold off a few handbags on ebay and was happy that I had the strength to get rid of my growing collection, but then i just bought more in search of the perfect bag.

It just seems like every bag I own is missing one key element that i at least think would make it perfect. I've even looked at other brands, but i just can't see myself paying thousands of dollars on a bag that i can't absolutely say i will be pleased with for longer than a month the longest.

If anyone has advice please please help. I typically like shoulder bags in a neutral color (not black or brown) with a zippered top. The glam tote is way to big for me! I typically like roomier bags, an outside pocket would be nice but not a deal breaker. Leather. And the shoulder strap drop can not be to long!

Honestly I love my Audrey but there's no zipper, so I struggle with it sometimes. Please someone help. I seriously need help.
Click to expand...

If you like an outside pocket and a shoulder bag .. Ashlyn is nice. Its light weight, so even loaded there is little weight to it. If you are ok without an outside pocket I say katarina.. both leather and signature is beautiful. After that I would say Maggie if the section dont bother you. I know a lot of people are "haters" I was too but one I got a system on how to use the bag I was good with it .. Makeup case outside pocket, wallet in the center zipper, and keys, phone in other outside pocket. Another if you dont mind sections is the Ashley carryall.. comes in both leather and signature and has a longer strap if needed.
 
#11
Bag Fetish said:
I am the same way, I get bored with my bags fast (usually) I have a few I go to frequently. But I know what you mean about trying to be a one bag person ... I remember those days... So very long ago .. LOL

If you like an outside pocket and a shoulder bag .. Ashlyn is nice. Its light weight, so even loaded there is little weight to it. If you are ok without an outside pocket I say katarina.. both leather and signature is beautiful. After that I would say Maggie if the section dont bother you. I know a lot of people are "haters" I was too but one I got a system on how to use the bag I was good with it .. Makeup case outside pocket, wallet in the center zipper, and keys, phone in other outside pocket. Another if you dont mind sections is the Ashley carryall.. comes in both leather and signature and has a longer strap if needed.
Click to expand...

I've been looking at the ashlyn bag. I've seen it posted a few times and the bag looks ideal. Do you know the style number ok the bag?! I may have to call around and see if I can possibly find her somewhere. When I first saw her posted on eBay she was in my cart and then i convinced myself that i didn't need it, and of course after it ended I kicked myself in the butt for it!

Thanks for the great choices!
 
#12
cellberry said:
Hey ladies and Gents, as I'm sitting here on my bed with handbags covering me, I sit here and wonder why can't i just find one bag that works for me?!? Everytime I place myself on a ban, I may do good for a few weeks and then I just 'have to have' another. I know this sounds crazy, but i really wish sometimes I could be one of those girls/guys who buy one handbag for that year or season and that's it until next time. I just can't seem to find that perfect bag and its so frustrating!!!

I use to say I would never buy the same bag in multiple colors, but now as I look at my collection I can say i lied to myself on that:sad: I sold off a few handbags on ebay and was happy that I had the strength to get rid of my growing collection, but then i just bought more in search of the perfect bag.

It just seems like every bag I own is missing one key element that i at least think would make it perfect. I've even looked at other brands, but i just can't see myself paying thousands of dollars on a bag that i can't absolutely say i will be pleased with for longer than a month the longest.

If anyone has advice please please help. I typically like shoulder bags in a neutral color (not black or brown) with a zippered top. The glam tote is way to big for me! I typically like roomier bags, an outside pocket would be nice but not a deal breaker. Leather. And the shoulder strap drop can not be to long!

Honestly I love my Audrey but there's no zipper, so I struggle with it sometimes. Please someone help. I seriously need help.
Click to expand...

I have a couple thoughts -.

1. Why does there have to be ONE perfect bag? Do you have one perfect pair of shoes, or earrings, or one perfect dress you wear ALL the time? I doubt it. Handbags are accessories, and functional. It's okay to need or want different bags to fulfill different needs.

That was the easy one. Now for -

2. You have a compulsion that is fueled by availability and encouragement. To be brutally frank - compulsive shopping and outright hoarding is often sported here like a badge of honour, and encouraged and applauded. Only YOU can decide if your avid interest has turned into something darker. And if you decide it has, the easiest way to stop the encouragement and limit the availability is to - stop coming here, and stop browsing ebay, and stop going places where Coach is sold.

And that does sound like no fun at all, I do admit.

If you want to try a less drastic approach - why don't you get all your bags out where you can look at them, all together... and decide which ones, if any, you want to give away or sell. If there aren't any, move on to the next step. Make a list of all the things that you want/like or are missing from the bags you have now. And then ONLY get things that fill the needs on your list. For instance - now that I can see ALL my bags at once, I know I absolutely do not need any more light coloured leather bags. Nor do I need any navy blue ones. However, a beautiful red, purple or green bag would fill a need, as would a nice brown leather.

If you see something new and you get a yen for it, see if matching wristlet or mini skinny is available. Sometimes you just need a little dab of something to satisfy the yearning for it.

I can totally sympathize with you because I have compulsive tendencies too. It if makes you unhappy or you feel it's detrimental, then maybe some counseling is in order.
 
#13
cellberry said:
I've been looking at the ashlyn bag. I've seen it posted a few times and the bag looks ideal. Do you know the style number ok the bag?! I may have to call around and see if I can possibly find her somewhere. When I first saw her posted on eBay she was in my cart and then i convinced myself that i didn't need it, and of course after it ended I kicked myself in the butt for it!

Thanks for the great choices!
Click to expand...

17861 wine patent
18696 metallic leather
17834 signature
17816 Blk leather ..
 
#14
Well I think you are in good (or bad!) company here. After all, this entire forum is based on purses! I know I do the exact same thing, always the pursuit of "THE bag" the perfect one... If only it was......
The only difference is I don't keep a ton of bags- I can't justify the money and don't want a lot. So I end up returning, exchanging, or selling. My room at times looks like a purse store, it's ridiculous. I know a few years ago I was on here all the time, found myself always wanting, and driving to the outlets. Even though I wasn't necessarily spending more (by constantly selling or trading) I still was putting money out for a bit, but more importantly, I was spending so much time, effort, and energy. I missed out on things because I was on tpf (don't get me wrong I love it here) and stressed obsessing over the bag! It wasn't until my husband lost his job and I switched my priorities- I kept one bag (not coach) I felt I had to get completely away which even to me sounds ridiculous but thats how my personality is. I left TPF, I had one bag for 3 years and didn't go to the outlet, didn't obsess, and lived life!!! after moving again, getting settle and now remarried I have found myself in almost the exact same boat. :/ I have been struggling again and trying to keep my obsession within limits. Anyway, sorry this is so long but you are NOT alone! I honestly think there IS no perfect bag. It's the rush and the excitement of the hunt and kill of you will. It's exciting and fun, and then it fades. There is a money talk thread on this forum and other places that can help. I think it's good to step back and assess your habits and how it's affecting you. Please pm me if you'd like to talk or vent, I could use a supportive buddy as well!! :flowers:
 
#15
OP, I know exactly how you feel. I think many of us do. The minute I have extra money, I start thinking about what I can go get from Coach. My mom tells me I'm sick. Maybe I am. I buy the same bag in multiple colors. I love my bags but I always want more. I'm only like this with purses for the most part though. Several of my bags are perfect for me, but I still keep wanting more and more. I don't think I'll ever be able to carry the same bag for months straight, but I envy those who can and who are content with that.
 
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