Who are your favorite comedians??

  1. I love: Dave Attell, Lewis Black, and Jerry Seinfled. I used to love Rosie before she became a political comentator.

    Is there anyone else I should be watching?
  2. I like:

    • Richard Jeni (may he rest in peace)
    • Dane Cook
    • Margaret Cho
    • Hal Sparks
    • Trevor Boris
    • Ant
    • Mario Cantone

    I like Jerry Seinfeld, too.
  3. my favorite comedian is Russel Peters. He makes me want to pee my pants everytime I watch him :roflmfao:
  4. I love Joan Rivers and Mo'Nique.
  5. Oh I forgot Kathy Griffith...
  6. Chris Rock.
  7. My favorites are:

    Kathy Griffin
    Chris Rock
  8. Dane Cook, Ron White, Bill Engvall, Carlos Mencia
  9. Ellen Degeneres
    Robin Wiiliams
  10. is it strictly stand up comedians? or just comedians?

    i love ben stiller
    • Eddie Murphy's old stuff is hilarious!
    • I love Ellen, too!
    • The Blue Collar Comedy guys: Bill Engvall, Jeff Foxworthy, Ron White, Larry the Cable Guy.
  11. without question...Howie Mandell is tops on my list. I LOVED him before Deal or No Deal....just looking at him cracks me up!
  12. What are some of everyone's favorite jokes?

    Richard Jeni
    She'll be sitting there, and I'll be driving, and she'll be with me. And she'll be making me so wonderfully... beautifully... f:cursing: cking tense! That after a while, during the drive, you can feel your colon pop out of your ass, come up your back, and start twisting itself into a noose around your throat. Because why would you want to drive alone, like a masterbating loser, when you can have the woman next to you, pointing out sh:cursing: t she thinks you're just about to crash into? And making it all the more likely that you will crash the f:cursing: cking car? 'Cause she keeps scaring the sh:cursing: t out of you by suddenly and out of nowhere making this noise:

    You don't want to be alone like a masterbating loser, when you can have the woman next to you in the car, cranking out non-stop, real-time, updated traffic information. It's like having a brand-new radio station.
    [deep voice]
    You're listening to all-driving-complaint-radio. Bustin' your balls from the driveway to the highway. You get all the great hits: Your exit's coming up. Your exit's coming up. Your exit's coming up. Your exit's coming up. And after a while you're going, 'Yeah, well, so is yours.' What!?!? [sweet voice] Nothing, my little copiloting sugarlamb!

    I always look for a woman who has a tattoo. I see a woman with a tattoo, and I'm thinking, okay, here's a gal who's capable of making a decision she'll regret in the future.
  13. Carlos Mencia is 2nd on my list...he is simply HILARIOUS...especially his "De-ta-De" sticks....funny stuff!:yahoo: :roflmfao:
  14. Margaret Cho
    So I was drinking tequila, and I was drinking grappa, which is Italian for gasoline, and I was drinking Jägermeister, which I believe is the liquid equivalent of Wonder Woman's golden lasso, because it will make you tell anybody the truth for no reason whatsoever. "You have really bad skin. Thanks for the drink."

    And I got so drunk, I got so drunk that I actually woke up thinking, "Should I get up and pee, or just pee in the bed?" Actually weighing the pros and the cons. "Well, it'll be warm for a minute... It's a big bed, I'll just roll over... I'll just blame it on that guy!"

    I love my gay male friends, but when I was a little girl I always used to wish that I would be constantly surrounded by gorgeous guys, and I am, and I should have been more specific.

    There was this really prim and proper British woman who used to run horse races for the lesbians on the ship, and the lesbians would get to name the horses, and the really prim and proper British woman would have to read out the names. "Horse number one, Galloping ... Clitoris... Horse number one, Galloping Clitoris. Very well, carry on... Horse number two.... No Dick for Me. Horse number two, No Dick for Me. Rather a rude name, don't you think? No Dick for Me? Should be, No Dick for Me, Thank You."

    My mom used to give me messages like this: "Ummmmmmm... Scott called.... IS HE THE GAY??!!" "Well, God, mom, I don't know if he's the gay... that's a lot of pressure on just one guy. He has to do the parade all by himself! 'I'm here! I'm queer! ...I guess I'm the only one.' "

    The National Enquirer published this thing called the "Chow like Cho Diet," which was this fake diet that I never went on, with all these fake quotes from me, like "When I was a little girl, I was raised on rice and fish. So when I get heavy, I go back to that natural Asian way of eating." ... That is so Mulan. You can almost hear the mandolin in the background. "When I was a little girl, I grow up on the rice paddy... and although we have no food, I have a tendency to put on weight."

    No matter what these terrorists do, I refuse to be terrorized. ...All this requires is just a few alterations in our day to day lives. For example, my first instinct when I receive an envelope full of white powder... is to snort it! I just won't do that this time!