Where do babies come from?

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  1. So, yesterday my 8 year old daughter asked me "Where do babies come from?" I was totally unprepared. I knew she'd eventually ask, and I thought I had a good answer, but I panicked. I told her the stork brought them. :P She knew I was kidding, so we joked about it a little bit and then I changed the subject. I know that's awful, but I didn't know what to say! The part that I'm uncertain about is explaining HOW the egg gets fertilized. How do I explain this process without going into too much detail? Any good books out there?
     
  2. I think it is always important to find out exactly WHAT they want to know - sometimes they want to know how babies get out of the mother, sometimes they want to know how they got in, sometimes they want to know where the babies grow (because they always hear "tummy" and they know instinctively that isn't accurate). Kids sometimes mean different things by the question, "Where do babies come from?" My 8 year old asked how his sister got out, and what he really wanted was clarification because he had heard the term c-section, and he knew she came out in a different way from some other babies.

    If you leave something out and you didn't tell them what they want to know, they will ask. I think 8 is old enough to know; my son asked around the same age. He already knew that it took a "mommy and a daddy" to make a baby, and that a woman could not have a baby by herself. When he asked "how the baby gets in the mommy's tummy" I clarified and told him that a cell (the egg) inside the mommy was met (fertilized) by a cell from the daddy and that it grew from there. He then asked, point blank, how the cell from the daddy got there. Again, I asked him if he really wanted to know, because some kids thought it was icky. He said he did, and I explained sex. He giggled and turned red, but he continues to come to me with questions because he knows I will answer them honestly. I also reassured him that boys his age are usually more interested in talking to girls or maybe even holding their hands. At which point he turned red again. I told him that it was okay not to be interested in sex or to think it was weird, because 8 year olds don't HAVE sex. He seemed relieved.

    A friend of mine is VERY squeamish about talking about sex or bodies or even puberty, but her husband is not. When her son asked about what parts girls had (he figured out that they did not have the same parts as boys), she sent him to his dad to ask, and his dad gave him the straight answers with the proper names for all the parts. As long as one parent is okay with talking about things, I think that's fine. My dh doesn't want to touch these subjects with a 10-foot pole with the kids, but I will explain anything they ask about. So maybe your dh could "have the talk" with her?

    While books are fine teaching tools if you read them and discuss them with the child, they don't take the place of talking, IMO. My mom used to leave pamphlets about mensturation in the bathroom, which we read of course, but it was also a clear signal not to actually TALK to her about it. I think it is better, personally, if a child feels they can actually talk with you.
     
  3. my daughter is 6 and she had asked last year about it and i told her that the babies are in the mom's belly and she does know that they can either come out of the stomach, by a cut in the belly or the vagina. she was satisfied with that. and never asked how the baby is created. in my case, we did IVF and i had c-sections. so she knows we wanted a baby really badly, so the dr helped us put one in and that they cut a line in my belly to get her out.

    i think you can say that they grow in the mom and come out of the mom's body, without talking about fertilization of the egg. sometimes you can just explain the gist of it, without the details and they are satisfied with that info.
     
  4. Thanks for the advice ladies. I feel a little better.

    I saw a book online that talks about how different living things reproduce. I think there was a flower, different animals, and then humans. That might be a good one to try.
     
  5. I'd be totally honest w her. You don't have to get into the graphic mechanical stuff, just explain the basics. I agree, if she doesn't ask questions after you finish your explanation, you're all good.
     
  6. get a kids book on it..that always helped me !
     
  7. last year when my son was 6, he asked me and I told him that when a mommy and daddy love eachother, their love can create a baby. (keep in mind he was 6 and I didn't want to get into the gory details...i figured keeping it vague with an answer that satisified him was good enough at that time.) Well, about a week later we saw a mom with like 7 kids walking through the mall...my son said "mom, those kids mom and dad must love eachother a LOT!!". :lol:

    He will be 8 next month and came home asking me what "humping" meant since he'd heard it on the bus (those damn kids on the bus!!!! I already had to explain what "gay" means. smh.) so I'm def prepared for the real answer if he wants to know where babies come from now. As hard as these questions are, I'd rather him hear the answer from me than the damn kids on the bus.
     
  8. Ditto this.

    With a book you can read and discuss.