When people give you crap about buying designer purses

Just by reading your posts it's clear that you are having a hard time in several fronts. Stress is one of the worst things for your immune system, so please try to relax and do not forget that happy people fight disease better.

Thank you. That's why I started this thread, because it's been bothering me so much. Had to get it off my chest.
 

What leather care set would you recommend for calfskin?[/QUOTE]

There are many choices for calf, from Meltonian (delicate) in a jar to Meltonian lotion (in a plastic bottle) or Cadillac boot and shoe (lotion in bottle) and a few others for calf (Blackrock's, etc.). You can get them from a shoe repair shop, amazon, ebay, and from online shoe places.

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chasing my rainbow!
 
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What leather care set would you recommend for calfskin?

There are many choices for calf, from Meltonian (delicate) in a jar to Meltonian lotion (in a plastic bottle) or Cadillac boot and shoe (lotion in bottle) and a few others for calf (Blackrock's, etc.). You can get them from a shoe repair shop, amazon, ebay, and from online shoe places.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~
chasing my rainbow![/QUOTE][/QUOTE]


Thanks! :coolio:
 
Well, there's lots of things to say regarding this. I don't know your background so I don't want to assume. As far as for personal experience, my parents grew up in more difficult times than I did for sure. My mom lived in Asia and was constantly hungry as a child and definitely lived below the poverty level and only received up to 8th grade education. She doesn't understand how we as a society currently treat our pets like our children and splurge on expensive things like Chanel bags. She's never splurged on herself in this manner before. We just went to asia this past fall and I took her with me to get a full body massage. She never had one before. I think it's a generational gap perhaps or just a different perspective how how she grew up vs how you grew up. Her goals back then were different than your goals right now. By the way great news your health is on the upward swing. And hopefully your kidney issues will continue to get better. I think in your instance I would splurge as well, you prob been couped up dealing with your health for so long that its time to do something positive for yourself. I know it's hard to deal w your mom saying those things and also living w her as well but at the same time I would look at it as just her opinion as you also have yours. You guys can agree to disagree.... Cheers to your health! Keep it up!!
I totally second this. Ppl grew up in different times and different places gain different ways to value things in life. Luckily my mom doesn't nag me even though she doesn't justify it, either.

Life is too short to cater to other's opinion. You should follow what can make you happy from your point of view, not others. I am sure parents do not mean it bad, just their values are different.
 
What really struck me most was her saying, "You're acting like you're rich but you're not! YOU'RE POOR NOW, YOU CAN'T AFFORD NAME BRANDS ANYMORE!"

Are poor people not allowed to have nice things even if they're careful to get the best deals possible (i.e. consignment shopping)?


Firstly congratulations on your improving health! This such a huge blessing. My DH also has continuing issues with his kidneys & it is amazing how medical technology has dramatically improved in five years. Hang in there and concentrate on staying as healthy and stress free as possible.

Regarding your mum's attitude to your new bags. It's tough and hard to keep calm when she just doesn't understand what you are doing. Can you educate her on your thrifty shopping strategy? Does she know your bags may hold most of their value and possibly be sold for more than you paid?
 
Firstly congratulations on your improving health! This such a huge blessing. My DH also has continuing issues with his kidneys & it is amazing how medical technology has dramatically improved in five years. Hang in there and concentrate on staying as healthy and stress free as possible.

Regarding your mum's attitude to your new bags. It's tough and hard to keep calm when she just doesn't understand what you are doing. Can you educate her on your thrifty shopping strategy? Does she know your bags may hold most of their value and possibly be sold for more than you paid?


Thank you! Wishing your husband well. All I can do for mine at the moment is strictly control blood pressure. Dialysis is coming, I just don't know when.

I've tried but it does no good. She just keeps yelling and won't listen. She'd die if she knew I paid $699 for the Chanel! Right now she believes I paid $300 for it because she's unfamiliar with the brand, and that's enough to send her into orbit. Mom's of the "bags should cost no more than $40" mindset, and cos of that she has to replace hers often because they tear up.

I remember in the early 2000s I bought a Dooney new for about $280 and she had a fit cos she KNEW how much they cost. And I was married at the time! I carried that thing daily until it fell apart about a year and a 1/2 ago though, so I definitely got my money's worth. High quality = better value to me (as long as you use your item). Anything bought and not used IS a waste of money.
 
I would draw a respectful line: "we cant talk about handbags, so I won't bring it up, and you, in turn, do not either. We have plenty else to discuss. They are paid for, so we need to move on".

You can enjoy them, talk about them and have fun with handbag discussions with us!

Chanel is an intimidating brand. She is probably a proud, modest woman who doesn't spend a lit on herself, so cannot relate on any label. I had a Coworker who assumed I was a snob with my bags and commented on them a lot. I finally said "I'm not carrying these for you or anyone else. Love The House of Chanel- you don't have to. I'm not judging what you carry- why are you judging my choice?!"

If you dont claim me on your taxes or pay my bills, commentary not welcome!

Be well and love those bags!!!!!
 
I would draw a respectful line: "we cant talk about handbags, so I won't bring it up, and you, in turn, do not either. We have plenty else to discuss. They are paid for, so we need to move on".

You can enjoy them, talk about them and have fun with handbag discussions with us!

Chanel is an intimidating brand. She is probably a proud, modest woman who doesn't spend a lit on herself, so cannot relate on any label. I had a Coworker who assumed I was a snob with my bags and commented on them a lot. I finally said "I'm not carrying these for you or anyone else. Love The House of Chanel- you don't have to. I'm not judging what you carry- why are you judging my choice?!"

If you dont claim me on your taxes or pay my bills, commentary not welcome!

Be well and love those bags!!!!!

BOOM! Thank you!

You described her to a T -- proud, modest and doesn't spend a lot on herself. The twist is, she thinks everyone should be like her. I'm responsible with my money, but I'm definitely not her mini-me ... however badly she wants me to be.
 
I hope that the many wonderful women on TPF have given you some much needed encouragement, affirmation, and understanding. I am in awe of your strength!

I can understand your mother's position but I can't understand why she won't give it a rest. Can you tell her how much her comments are hurting you? I'm not sure what method is best here (gentle explanation, forceful rebuttal, etc) but somehow you need to make it clear that she needs to stop already. You are a grown woman who has been through a lot and regardless of her views, you have a right to do with your money as you see fit. The line must be drawn somehow.

If she can't be convinced, then try at least to enjoy your bags. They should be a reminder of how far you've come.
 
I hope that the many wonderful women on TPF have given you some much needed encouragement, affirmation, and understanding. I am in awe of your strength!

I can understand your mother's position but I can't understand why she won't give it a rest. Can you tell her how much her comments are hurting you? I'm not sure what method is best here (gentle explanation, forceful rebuttal, etc) but somehow you need to make it clear that she needs to stop already. You are a grown woman who has been through a lot and regardless of her views, you have a right to do with your money as you see fit. The line must be drawn somehow.

If she can't be convinced, then try at least to enjoy your bags. They should be a reminder of how far you've come.

Thank you!

It's not like she's constantly in my face giving me grief, but anytime she senses an opening to get a dig, she will. I can be talking about something totally different and she'll bring it up. She did a couple days ago. It's maddening. :Pullhair: I'm nearing 50, for god's sake.
 
Yeah I wouldn't deal with the negative attitudes about it if I were you... I have the issue more with friends than anyone else... And I just want to say "hey- I save up for this stuff and don't spend money on random things, so you shouldn't judge." My opinion is - you want it, you get it. Rock it and don't listen to the downers.

I wish you the best recovery. Retail therapy for me is the best form of therapy-- you deserve this!!!!
 
True. I'm disabled now, though, and she's worried I won't have enough money to make it once they're gone. I understand that, but I'm not foolish! I feel like I did it in a responsible manner!

I pay for all my own stuff and also pay rent. I also save a chunk each month. I'm careful with my money, but dang it, I've spent the past five years in a miserable funk. I don't want to spend however much time I have left on this earth the same way.

I am glad you said this part, because to be honest, had you not, I might have wondered if she had a point. But now I know you are being responsible and I felt better about replying to you.

I would draw a respectful line: "we cant talk about handbags, so I won't bring it up, and you, in turn, do not either. We have plenty else to discuss. They are paid for, so we need to move on".

You can enjoy them, talk about them and have fun with handbag discussions with us!

Chanel is an intimidating brand. She is probably a proud, modest woman who doesn't spend a lit on herself, so cannot relate on any label. I had a Coworker who assumed I was a snob with my bags and commented on them a lot. I finally said "I'm not carrying these for you or anyone else. Love The House of Chanel- you don't have to. I'm not judging what you carry- why are you judging my choice?!"

If you dont claim me on your taxes or pay my bills, commentary not welcome!

Be well and love those bags!!!!!

I agree with this. When she brings it up, just say we can't discuss it and don't. She can't engage you if you don't participate.

I am sorry about your health problems. I guess you probably have no idea how long you will be living with her since you are sick. Hopefully though, you will be able to move out someday and not listen to her.

It is hard I know. I made the mistake once of telling my mom how much one of my B-bags cost. She would have a cow if she knew how much the Chanel bags are.
 
Firstly, I am so sorry for your medical issues. I wish you nothing but good health with your beautiful new bags :heart: x

In response to your question: if 'people' gave me crap about buying expensive things... I don't care what they think. Everyone spends their own money on their own hobbies/loves/indulgences. Your spending reflects your priorities. Some people like to take expensive vacations, some people like to get weekly mani pedis, some people like to sock money away for a rainy day. I don't judge what others do because it doesn't impact me. If someone is living beyond their means or pretending to be something they're not through carrying designer purses, I just feel sorry for them.

But once I read your post - if my MOTHER gave me crap about buying expensive purses, I would probably be rattled :lol: It is coming from a place of love with a mother - they want you to be cautious with your money and make wise decisions so you can be comfortable throughout your life. My own mother does not understanding dropping a wad of dough on a bag. If I had done this when I still lived at home, when I earned less money, when I wasn't 'set up' in life, oh hell yes she would have had a lot to say! But she does not criticise now because I am earning a decent income, I'm married, own my house and I'm much more comfortable.

You have to be happy with your purchases and not let other's judgement rattle you. It is coming from a place of concern and love with your mother and I hope she can see how much comfort and joy your new bags bring you, in a time of difficulty and pain. All the best. x