When did you have children? What is the best age?

  1. I was just wondering when you had children? I am 24 in August and my fiance is 26 in September, we have been together for 5 years. MY mum was 28 when she had me and I am the oldest, none of my friends have babys but I would like to be a young mum, my mum says to wait until I'm about 28 and says that most people have children older these days so I would be younger than all the other mums at the baby clinics etc.

    My fiance (god I hate that word!) wants to be about 30 so I guess we wont have one for a while but I was just wondering, what are your own experiences? My fiance has a good job so money is not a problem, he says that he wants to enjoy himself while he is young and kids prevent you doing this, what do you think? What are your experiences?:yes:
  2. The best age is when you are ready! When you decide you can give more time to a little one. I had a child in my 20's and in my 30's and for me, I am a much better parent in my 30's. That is not true for everyone, but my own exerience I am more patient, more discplined, more ready to give up things I love to give more time to my children, Our money is better, we are more stable, more committed to ensuring we follow through with all of our values we want instilled in our children. Raising children is absolutley the hardest job on the planet, but it is also the most rewarding!! I think that each individual is different so their is no perfect time to have a child. Only that person can decide that keeping in mind what a challenging position it is at times. My opinion is also, I am truly blessed with my children and wouldn't change a thing!
  3. Oh, nice question. I just had my first child at 28 and my husband was also 28 - my brother also just had his first child and he is 27 and his wife 25 - I guess it really depends on you. I always said that I wanted to have my first child before 30 - and don't regret it. I know a lot of people that have children between 25 and 29.

    It also depends on what you are doing at the moment - I was still in full-time education when I was 24 - but apart from that I would wait for another couple of years if I was you and then start thinking about it.

    If you are planning to get married soon you will anyway be busy planning a wedding :smile:! (and let me tell you doing that while you are pregnant - NO FUN!) And, yes life is not the same anymore - better for sure but also just hopping in the car and going for a shopping round without planning ahead is not possible to the same extent.

    I agree there is not perfect time but when you feel like it. It is the best for sure!
  4. I had my first child at 33 and am currently pregnant with my 2nd at 34. Knowing what I know now I would've done it in my 20's. Having a baby in your 30's is really rough on your body (physically). With this 2nd baby I'll need to decide whether I will do an amnicentesis due to my age.

    At the same time, I agree with everyone else that it just depends on whether you are ready (emotionally, etc.).

    Having children changes your life DRASTICALLY. The good thing about having my kids late in life is that I had a chance to do everything I wanted education-wise, career-wise, travel-wise, party-wise, etc. I don't really feel like I am missing out on anytihng (except sleep). I think this is important because you never want to see your children as something that held you back.

    Anyway, best of luck to you!
  5. Thanks guys, I forgot to mention I am a teacher and we have a house together. I know it's a huge commitment, I just cant understand why my fiance would rather have them later, maybe I'm just looking for something else to love, I don't know, I just always wanted to be a young mum!
  6. I don't believe there is any overall "best" age. You have to know what the best age for YOU is.

    I am 42 and have a 19 year old and a 6 year old. Yes, they are both from the same father, and, no, the younger one was not a surprise! LOL

    I was very young when I had my first and that had advantages and disadvantages. With my second, I was obviously much older and that also has advantages and disadvantages. it was the right age to have both of them because I was ready for children when I had them-does that make sense?
  7. I had my son when I was 23 which I think was a little too young for me. And my daughter when I was 27 which was perfect or could just be the fact that I was not a new mom anymore. I am 28 now and expecting my 3rd so I will be 29 by that time. Which is perfect for me because I wanted to be done having babies by 30. This will be the last one for us!!
  8. I had both of my kids in my early 30's, wouldn't have been ready before that.
  9. Great question!!! This has been in the back of my mind lately too...

    My DH has always stated that he wanted to start having kids around the time that I turn 25-26 (He would be 32)... however, since I am getting ready to turn 24 in May... starting to get nervous.. ;) We've been together for 5 years, married for 2 years... he is turning 30 this year. I've been out of college for 3 years, gotten plenty of partying & socializing in, I have owned my own business, sold it, and worked in a "professional job". I feel like I've gotten everything accomplished except for completing my Master's ( which will be done shortly before turning 26) and getting some traveling in... If I can see most of Europe within the next 2 years, I think I would be fine with having kids around 26...

    I think the age is different for everyone, since everyone hits different accomplishments at different ages, and its a matter of being ready in a number of aspects... He has a good job, so I think for us its becoming less of a question of being ready financially, and more of being ready with our places in life/ emotionally... I couldn't imagine us trying to keep track of another person at this point in out lives...

    I really admire people that have children!! :smile: Its a HUGE commitment, but one that seems personally worthwhile!!
  10. my parents had me at 22 and 23. i'm 23 and nowhere near ready for kids. my mother always tells me she was much older at 22 than i am now, and doesn't want me having kids any time soon no matter how much her mother wants great-grandchildren :lol:
  11. I was 27, DH was 30. I think I should have been a little older and more prepared for parenthood, but that is just me. My folks were mid 40's when they adopted me and I think that they were too old to start over with a baby. (they agree). I would agree, the best time is when you feel ready and although I know I probably would have never felt ready, I am glad I was older when I had my daughter.
  12. Everyone is different~ I had my 1st at 27 & my second at 30. If I could (circumstances won't allow..) I would have another now, at 33. Any earlier than 27, I wouldn't have been ready. I guess you know when the time is right ;)
  13. I don't have kids but I would like to have my first one between 28 and 30. I'm 26 going on 27 in July...oohh better make that 29 and 30 for the first one lol

    if it were up to my bf then now lol
  14. One of my sisters was 23 and the other 24 when they got married, and both decided to wait for children. They are now 27 (they're twins), and plan on waiting a few more years. Both of them are really glad they decided to do this. They say is is nice just enjoying married life, their friends, their new homes, and their careers. I think one sister is planning on starting a family when she is 28-30 and the other probably 30-32. I think it is a great idea to enjoy marriage for a few years. I won't have that luxury because I am 29 and probably won't get married until I'm 32-33. I want children by 35, so that doesn't leave much time!
  15. Had my daughter when I was 20, hubby 23.
    you just know deep down inside when you're ready. there's really no certain age :smile: