What would you do?
- Thread starter Seren_HGH
- Start date
Are you sure that they don't like you? 2 hours seems a very short & unfair time for them to form such an opinion of you. can you tell us more?
Please don't think it is irrelevant people are very happy to help here with any problem & it so helps to "talk"
Please don't think it is irrelevant people are very happy to help here with any problem & it so helps to "talk"
I think if you really love him you should try to win them over. It is very difficult to be in a relationship when a family member doesn't like you. And I know it hurts the ego a little. But my fiance had warned me that his parents were hard to win over because he had a really bad relationship with his last girl. So I was prepared to win them over, I just made sure to talk to them and let them know that I wasn't here to screw him over. They pretty much loved me after the first few hours. It just takes time, and now his mom calls me to go out together to eat and shop. Just try to put in the effort to show them who you are, so they don't make judgements on who they THINK you are.
Why take it out on your bf?
He's marrying you , not his parents, so YES, I would marry him.
It sounds like you are assuming they don't like you, maybe they hide there emotions and cannot be read as well as you'd like.
And if they don't like you YET, I'm sure they'll come around, and if they don't, it sounds like their loss!
Good Luck!
He's marrying you , not his parents, so YES, I would marry him.
It sounds like you are assuming they don't like you, maybe they hide there emotions and cannot be read as well as you'd like.
And if they don't like you YET, I'm sure they'll come around, and if they don't, it sounds like their loss!
Good Luck!
No they pretty much told me they told him they didn't feel that I clicked with them and the mother told me that herself. His sister thinks that the parents will come around and since they don't live in the same city I'm not concerned, they do have this opinion on who i am and I'm willing to try to make them see who I actually am but it's just a really sad situation. They totally made an assumption based on less then 3 hours....I think they are just hard people to get to know since they acted similar when they met his sisters now fiancee. 
DUDE..who cares what they think.As long as you LOVE HIM..Thats all that counts.Everyone of us has their own baggage to bring into a marriage!!LOL!..this shall be yours.Think of all the years you'll have to work on them too!Good luck!!!!
PS-My parents are impossible and hated my PHH..still do..no connection...for no reason whatsoever.Some peeps are just like that.
PS-My parents are impossible and hated my PHH..still do..no connection...for no reason whatsoever.Some peeps are just like that.
More like 'what am I doing'?? I am living it. My DH's family does not like me at all...Not sure why, but I do know one comment that was made to me when they first met me was "you only like name brands"..Yeah, like that is a terrible thing!! Anyways, i have been happily married for 13 yrs and i don't see my inlaws. If they do come to town, we all put on pretend smiles and are nice to each other and than they leave and I never hear from them again until the next visit or whatever. I just don't deal with them at all. Although its not said out loud, we all have an understanding and a dislike for each other and we just act cordial when we do see each other. I do wish we got along, but on the other hand it doesn't matter to me because it is my hubby I married and not his family.
My husband's mom, who is a nutter IMHO, does not really like me. About 3 hours after our wedding, she phoned me and said: "you were not very nice to me today and did not pay enough attention to me". Uh, we had 250 guests and I was nice as pie to everyone. Don't worry about it, as long as you are in love all will work out.
Oh geez, my BF now DH's parents didn't like me when they were just guessing their precious son had a GF, they hadn't even met me yet! I just shrugged it off, it took my husband 4 months to get the courage to introduce me, and they still didn't care too much for me, and I'll admit it's been rocky from that point on.
We ended up getting married at the court house because they were so upset at our decision to get married (after having been together 1.5 years). I think our marriage made them soften up a bit, they have realized I'm not going anywhere...
Are you planning on marrying soon? In my opinion the only opinions that matter are yours and your BF, if his parents don't like you it shouldn't matter unless your BF is overly concerned with having their approval, and if he is then you need to have a talk with him.
Good luck, I'm sure it will pass, they'll get to know you and love you!
We ended up getting married at the court house because they were so upset at our decision to get married (after having been together 1.5 years). I think our marriage made them soften up a bit, they have realized I'm not going anywhere...
Are you planning on marrying soon? In my opinion the only opinions that matter are yours and your BF, if his parents don't like you it shouldn't matter unless your BF is overly concerned with having their approval, and if he is then you need to have a talk with him.
Good luck, I'm sure it will pass, they'll get to know you and love you!
I think this really boils down to how your husband feels about the fact they don't like you (assuming you can just ignore it). If he is going to listen to his mom complain about you and agree with her about what's wrong with you, etc, that is not something I could deal with. If he is willing to see that his parents are just being silly and take your side, that makes things a lot easier.
I had to go through something similar with my husband. He used to be of the "mom is perfect and can do no wrong" camp, which makes things really hard in a situation like this. If you can get him to understand that his mom or dad treats you like crap or whatever, that solidarity is what matters, IMHO. Marriage is about the husband and the wife, and it's important that the parents of the husband or wife don't interfere when it's no longer their business to make decisions about the relationship.
I had to go through something similar with my husband. He used to be of the "mom is perfect and can do no wrong" camp, which makes things really hard in a situation like this. If you can get him to understand that his mom or dad treats you like crap or whatever, that solidarity is what matters, IMHO. Marriage is about the husband and the wife, and it's important that the parents of the husband or wife don't interfere when it's no longer their business to make decisions about the relationship.
thank you so much for all the responses, I feel pretty much with the consensus they dislike me simply because I am not a doctor and their daughter is...EVEN though their son is not they hoped he would marry someone very graduate schooling and I only did a B.A....but he doesn't seem to care what they think and they live in Seattle and he lives in New York I can be civil....and at least I won't have any inlaws coming for long visits...now...the silver lining I suppose. Even though it is really disappointing.
If they are basing their opinions on something like schooling or career choice, that is very judgemental and has nothing to do with YOU and everything to do with their own preconceptions/biases/etc. They are looking for a resume not necessarily someone who would make their son happy! If all is good with your relationship then I would not let this get in the way, just continue with your life and plans and hope one day they grow up and appreciate you for your own unique self. . . in the meantime I wish you lots of happiness 
It sounds like in all you have a decent situation--they are far away, and husband seems to understand their dislike of you is unfounded. Perhaps they will warm to you eventually (esp if you are the babymaker!), perhaps not, but I think this situation seems like one that would be manageable.