What would you do?

S

sooz19

Member
Mar 23, 2011
108
0
#1
My husband and I will be attending my father's 80th birthday dinner later this week. The restaurant is neither super fancy nor super casual. My father reqested that we not get dressed up (as to not make anyone feel bad) and when I asked what "not dressed up" meant; he said absolutely nothing fancy, just jeans and a t-shirt.

Now, my husband and I are both very much of the mindset that people have gotten too casual in dressing nowadays and we tend to "dress-up" more even on our casual days. I would like to respect my dad's request (he'll be 80 after-all and has earned it) but at the same time, I don't want to wear something that I will be uncomfortable wearing. We just don't really own just jeans and a t-shirt. We do have our workout wear, the scrubby clothes for when we are doing house projects (the old paint stained t's and pants) and the comfy clothes we wear ONLY while lounging in the house - none of which get worn for anything but their respective functions.

I am thinking the best compromise will be a light printed cotton skirt with a sleeveless top and wedge sandals (something I would wear on weekends) particularly since it is supposed to be in the high 80s.

What would you do?

If it matters, I am 34 and my husband is 36.
 
#2
^Neither you and your husband have a single pair of jeans????
I can understand wanting to dress up a bit (I always dress up when I go out), however, jeans and a cute top can easily be dressed up, without being too dressy. If it was me, I'd wear nice jeans, a cute top, and wedge heels. If your father has specifically asked for nothing fancy, I wouldn't wear a skirt - it's his party after all...
 
#3
Yes and no, I do but they are all dark wash and definitely nicer than your average, everyday jean (and all require a heel/wedge of some sort). My husband, on the other hand, just lost a good 20+ pounds and the jeans he had no longer fit (and he never really wore them anyway so he's really not wanting to spend any money to get another pair).

And knowing my father...I get the feeling that even a dressier top would be "too dressy" for his t-shirt idea. He is uber-casual and would probably wear sweats everwhere if my mom would let him.

Just trying to find a happy medium...been standing in front of my closet every night the last few days. :smile:
 
#4
I agree with vhdos you can easily dress up jeans and a tee with sexy heels and accessories. I love the look of wearing skinny jeans and a fitted v-neck tee and heels. You can pair dressier jewelry and evening-ish handbag. If you absolutely don't have jeans you can pair a pencil skirt with a tee its casual *** formal. I wouldn't come dressed fancy if he asked you to keep it casual.
 
#5
Hmm, if all of your jeans require a heel/wedge of some sort, I'd opt for a wedge (more casual), a simple top/tee and maybe make it more "you" by adding some accessories. The base pieces (jeans/top or tee) will still be casual and hopefully the outfit will be in keeping with your dad's overall "keep it casual" wishes.
 
#7
I think your normal weekend wear is totally appropriate for the occasion. A casual skirt and top say summer to me. Jeans in the summer don't make any sense (but then again I live in a hot climate!)

I understand that you want to honor your Dad but that shouldn't require you to go out and buy new clothes or spend hours agonizing over your closet.

Do you know what your Mom is going to wear? Perhaps that can guide you. Good luck!
 
#8
I can completely see where you're coming from OP. I also don't wear jeans (or any trousers really) and I don't quite understand why people consider skirts and dresses "dressy" or insist on ultra casual dress codes. The whole point of dressing casual is comfort, but if someone isn't comfortable in jeans or sweats, why would you force them to do so just so you can feel better about your own casual style? If other people feel bad because you are wearing a skirt, then they have the issue, not you (unless you turn up in a glittering cocktail dress or opera length gloves).
Having said that he is 80 and if he feels so strongly about it I think it's lovely that you want to comply. Your idea of a simple skirt and top sounds great. Probably keep the accessories toned down though, and stick to cotton rather than silks. Maybe you are actually worrying more about it than your Dad meant you to, and he probably doesn't expect you to go out and buy new clothes, which you may never wear again.
 
#9
I think your idea of a skirt, light top, and wedges is prefect! I can't really see your father being too upset about that - it's not like you're showing up in an evening gown! If you're comfortable and having a good and your father is happy that's all the matters. Have fun!
 
#11
I love to dress up when I go out because I work at home all day in sweats so it's fun to wear something nice out. I've gone to a few weddings where people are wearing shorts or jeans and I feel super out of place wearing a dress/heels.

Do you have any cotton dresses you could wear with some flats or wedges? Maybe a long cotton skirt with a shirt. I'd consider that casual. I am not a jeans wearer and think you can still wear a skirt or dress if you don't like jeans. I think it's really all about the material that makes it more casual.
 
#12
This is not intended to disrespect your father, but I'd talk with your mom about this. My DH would say something similar to anyone asking about a party like this, but he would mean it more rhetorically - his intent would be to convey that no one should go out of their way for him or for the location, not to LITERALLY wear jeans and a t-shirt, KWIM? You clearly know your father better than we do, and perhaps he did intend it literally, but most people will say things like that without actually meaning it. They just want to convey that the occasion isn't a big deal and that no one should worry about how they dress - come as you are. So if I were you, I'd try to talk with someone else organizing things and see what they say. Your father has earned the right to dress however he pleases, but I doubt he has contacted everyone attending to tell them to wear jeans and a t-shirt, so I would guess that most guests will be dressed a little nicer than that.
 
#14
I'd wear a pair of jeans (doesn't matter if they're dark washed), a cute casual-chic shirt or tunic and a pair of wedges!

A floaty maix dress, as explorer27 suggested, sounds nice too!

If I was in your shoes, though, I'd try to respect my dad's wish as much as I could. It's one night after-all and he's turning 80, which is a milestone for most people, so I'd do as he says.
 
#15
HauteMama said:
This is not intended to disrespect your father, but I'd talk with your mom about this. My DH would say something similar to anyone asking about a party like this, but he would mean it more rhetorically - his intent would be to convey that no one should go out of their way for him or for the location, not to LITERALLY wear jeans and a t-shirt, KWIM? You clearly know your father better than we do, and perhaps he did intend it literally, but most people will say things like that without actually meaning it. They just want to convey that the occasion isn't a big deal and that no one should worry about how they dress - come as you are. So if I were you, I'd try to talk with someone else organizing things and see what they say. Your father has earned the right to dress however he pleases, but I doubt he has contacted everyone attending to tell them to wear jeans and a t-shirt, so I would guess that most guests will be dressed a little nicer than that.
Click to expand...

If my dad said wear jeans and a t shirt - he would mean literally wear jeans and a t-shirt. I agree, though, that OP knows her father best, but personally, I'd respect the wishes of my father at his birthday party and dress casual (casual for me would be nice jeans, a nice top, and wedge sandals).
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top
Back