What would you do?

AmberEnv77

Member
Mar 28, 2008
231
0
San Diego,CA
I have this friend she got a DUI a year ago and now she has a Breathalyzer machine on her car.. which means if she goes to a bar she has to take a taxi home or find another way home etc. well she has asked me about 3 times now to take her to pick up her car etc I don't think its rite that I have to be her backup plan when she should have taken a taxi to the bar to begin with.
well she calls me this morning once again asking me to take her to pick up her car because she left it at a bar and i haven't told her yes yet but i don't know how to tell her no, and I don't really want to take her down there because she is being very careless and irresponsible i don't know this isn't fair. I don't want her getting all pissed off at me either if I tell her no but I think she needs to be more responsible she is 30 years old!!
 

babypie

Member
Jun 3, 2007
18,913
2
Yeah I know what you mean. Once or twice is one thing, but it looks like she's getting in the routine of using you in the morning to get her car.

If it were me, I'd probably not have a big confrontation about it, but I'd make myself less available. Just keep telling her you have plans and she'll get the hint.
 

elizat

Member
Sep 21, 2007
9,779
5
^ I agree. You don't usually get a Breathalyzer machine in your car for one DUI, either. Is she supposed to be attending alcohol awareness classes or something in addition at this point?

I'd tell her what you wrote, in a very nice way and stop being available. Turn off your cell phone, don't answer, do whatever you need to do to not be her DD on call when she goes out.
 

twiggers

O.G.
May 7, 2006
33,070
28
Yea...a breathalyzer is usually after a couple DUIs and is when they restrict you to when you can drive (i.e. you need the car for work)...so I'm wondering how she is even driving it at night.

I'd stop returning her calls for awhile! You're not her keeper.
 

bagnshoofetish

resist.
O.G.
Feb 12, 2006
33,572
2,991
earth
stop enabling her. its a classic alcoholic maneuver to manipulate you into doing this over and over. when an alcoholic has no consequences for their actions, why should they quit when their friends will be there to bail them out over and over again? its tough love but unless you want to see your friend go downhill fast, you need to level with her and tell her that her drinking is causing you major inconvenience and if she was your friend, she would not want to do that to you.
 

Varied_obsessions

Because I said so
O.G.
May 7, 2006
1,415
0
I'd take her, but the ride there would go like this"Sweetie, you know I care about you, but I will no longer be your ride to pick up your car. Period"
She needs to take a cab, or better than that, slow up on the drinking all together. You are not her keeper. Don't let her make her problem yours. Tough love and self preservation. Good luck
 

Beach Bum

O.G.
Feb 17, 2006
34,914
40
dude...she has a SERIOUS problem.....and u arent helping her!!dont enable her anymore!stop assisting when u shouldnt.she needs to learn she needs help!(The right kind..NO alcohol!)
 

boxermom

O.G.
Aug 26, 2006
27,084
591
North Carolina
She needs to experience ALL the consequences of her behavior. That includes the problem of getting her car after she's too drunk to start it with the Breathalyzer. WTH is she doing in bars so often when she's getting DUI's? You'll be doing her a favor (she won't see it that way) by letting her deal with it. do NOT enable her, please, please, please!
 

Mrs. MC

Member
Dec 4, 2007
4,056
0
Break the cycle. If you keep helping her then she will keep participating in this behavior.
 

Bag Fetish

Iphone Addict!
O.G.
Mar 28, 2006
34,517
315
the land of cold!
I have this friend she got a DUI a year ago and now she has a Breathalyzer machine on her car.. which means if she goes to a bar she has to take a taxi home or find another way home etc. well she has asked me about 3 times now to take her to pick up her car etc I don't think its rite that I have to be her backup plan when she should have taken a taxi to the bar to begin with.
well she calls me this morning once again asking me to take her to pick up her car because she left it at a bar and i haven't told her yes yet but i don't know how to tell her no, and I don't really want to take her down there because she is being very careless and irresponsible i don't know this isn't fair. I don't want her getting all pissed off at me either if I tell her no but I think she needs to be more responsible she is 30 years old!!
Reply with sorry i 'm not up for going out.

Is she not able to take a bus to get to her car? I would suggest that.
 

tmc089

O.G.
Oct 6, 2007
3,366
0
Connecticut
It's really not your responsibility to be the car picker-upper. She needs a reality check and you have a life to worry about, so I would just tell her that you don't want to be that person who always picks up the car, or just ignore the calls when you know its coming.