What to Wear to a Large, Restaurant Wedding Shower

katev

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In recent years the only showers that I've attended have been smaller, casual affairs either at work or with a small group of friends; and of course there haven't been any social events over the last year.

But now I've been invited to a large wedding shower of family and friends that will be held on a Saturday afternoon in a private room at a local restaurant - and I don't know what to wear for such an event!

When I was younger (a long time ago!) I would have dressed up a bit for for a big, restaurant shower, like going to church; but nowadays people often don't dress up for church and in general, many things just seem more casual.

The restaurant specializes in pizza, pasta, and cocktails - which sounds rather casual - but they also serve a full menu of other entrees, so I don't know what to think!

What would you wear for such an event? Once I pick an outfit I'll be able to select the right purse, so thanks in advance for your advice!
 

lill_canele

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1) I'd probably first ask the bride and the groom what the theme and theme colors of their wedding is or what attire they expect.
Sometimes it is stated on the invitation, ie. cocktail, black tie, white tie, etc.

2) Next I weigh in 2 things: comfort vs less comfort, haha :lol:
Am I willing to look my best even if I don't feel that comfortable (in the dress and/or shoes), or do I want to go for more comfortable options?
The more formal the event, the more I'm willing to go for less comfort. And in general, I'm a person who would rather suck it up to look my best for a day. (in exchange, I'll be a potato the next day lol)

3) You can ask any other ladies attending, what they plan on wearing, so you can kind of get a feel for how formal or casual everyone else will be, if you don't want to stand out too much.

Personally, I would go all out, no white dress (obviously haha) but no black dress either. I prefer something more sophisticated and elegant for weddings, generally midi or floor length dress, the shortest would be around knee length and that's for a more fitted silhouette and closed toe pumps all the way! :biggrin:
 

katev

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Dec 18, 2009
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1) I'd probably first ask the bride and the groom what the theme and theme colors of their wedding is or what attire they expect.
Sometimes it is stated on the invitation, ie. cocktail, black tie, white tie, etc.

2) Next I weigh in 2 things: comfort vs less comfort, haha :lol:
Am I willing to look my best even if I don't feel that comfortable (in the dress and/or shoes), or do I want to go for more comfortable options?
The more formal the event, the more I'm willing to go for less comfort. And in general, I'm a person who would rather suck it up to look my best for a day. (in exchange, I'll be a potato the next day lol)

3) You can ask any other ladies attending, what they plan on wearing, so you can kind of get a feel for how formal or casual everyone else will be, if you don't want to stand out too much.

Personally, I would go all out, no white dress (obviously haha) but no black dress either. I prefer something more sophisticated and elegant for weddings, generally midi or floor length dress, the shortest would be around knee length and that's for a more fitted silhouette and closed toe pumps all the way! :biggrin:
Thank you for your feedback, but I will worry about what to wear for the wedding later - but I think it will be a "dress up occasion" because of the venue; but right now I am asking for advice on how to dress for the wedding shower.

The shower will be a large gathering in the private room at a local restaurant. The restaurant specializes in pizza, pasta, and cocktails but they also serve a full menu of larger entrees - how would you dress for such an occasion?
 

jennlt

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Sep 17, 2009
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In recent years the only showers that I've attended have been smaller, casual affairs either at work or with a small group of friends; and of course there haven't been any social events over the last year.

But now I've been invited to a large wedding shower of family and friends that will be held on a Saturday afternoon in a private room at a local restaurant - and I don't know what to wear for such an event!

When I was younger (a long time ago!) I would have dressed up a bit for for a big, restaurant shower, like going to church; but nowadays people often don't dress up for church and in general, many things just seem more casual.

The restaurant specializes in pizza, pasta, and cocktails - which sounds rather casual - but they also serve a full menu of other entrees, so I don't know what to think!

What would you wear for such an event? Once I pick an outfit I'll be able to select the right purse, so thanks in advance for your advice!
Since it's the shower and not the wedding, I would say dressy casual would be safe, especially since it's in the afternoon. I'd wear a dress and low-heeled pumps or even flats that aren't super casual. I usually wear minimal jewelry but for a shower I'd wear an extra piece; so for me it would be earrings and a bracelet rather than one or the other. If I have to choose, I prefer to be slightly overdressed rather than underdressed so I definitely wouldn't wear jeans. HTH!
 
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lill_canele

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Jun 21, 2021
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Thank you for your feedback, but I will worry about what to wear for the wedding later - but I think it will be a "dress up occasion" because of the venue; but right now I am asking for advice on how to dress for the wedding shower.

The shower will be a large gathering in the private room at a local restaurant. The restaurant specializes in pizza, pasta, and cocktails but they also serve a full menu of larger entrees - how would you dress for such an occasion?

Ooops, so sorry, my fault :P . Missed the "shower" part haha.
I've never heard of a wedding shower before.

But to be honest, I'd still ask the bride and groom on their preference(s). Rather be on the safe side lol

Probably still wear a dress and heels but maybe something a little more fun and party-like, just nothing too short.

Agree with @jennlt would rather over dress than under dress for sure.
 
Aug 17, 2008
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I would wear a cute dress (not white obviously). Even if others are more casual, I just like to wear dresses when I can. If you're more a pants/jeans person, a cute top then. Cute shoes, whether they are flats or heels. If I know I may need to stand or walk a lot I would make sure to wear comfortable shoes.
 

snibor

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I’ve been to a wedding shower similar to what you describe. I would say business casual or dressy casual. I wouldn’t wear jeans. I nice pair of slacks with blouse or sweater, a daytime dress (I wore a gray sweater dress with nice jewelry). An elegant jumpsuit as already suggested, maybe with a casual blazer. Nice, comfortable, casual but elegant attire. Nothing too revealing or outlandish. I would even say you could do leather (or faux leather) slacks with a nice top (depending on if weather cool).
 
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katev

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I ask on behalf of the non-US-understanding population of the world:

What is a wedding shower?

Is that like 'our' hen party (women's equivalent of a stag party/bachelor party)
I don’t think that it’s like a Hen Party. Friends/relatives of the Bride host a party and invite women close to the Bride and Groom to participate.

In this case the party is a luncheon at a restaurant but it can be at someone’s home, etc.

The purpose of a shower is to assist the Bride fill her new home with useful objects to help her embark on her new role as a wife.

Showers may have started back in the days when girls kept a Hope Chest and lived at home until their wedding day, but the tradition still continues today.

Brides usually “register” on Amazon and at stores that carry a lot of shower gift merchandise. That way buyers will know what she needs and wants (china, linens, small appliances, etc.) but you can also buy a different gift of you own choosing.

Work colleagues may hold a small shower at work and girlfriends may have a small “personal shower” with gifts of lingerie and sleep ware.

It’s just people pitching in to help the Bride and Groom start their life together.
 
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Jan 15, 2011
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I ask on behalf of the non-US-understanding population of the world:

What is a wedding shower?

Is that like 'our' hen party (women's equivalent of a stag party/bachelor party)
Americans just call the hen party a bachelorette party. Sometimes it's part of the bridal shower but usually not.

A wedding shower is when the bride and groom do the shower event together as opposed to the old-fashioned "bridal" shower which would be ladies only (left over from very old days when the bride would still be at home with parents lol).
 

papertiger

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Americans just call the hen party a bachelorette party. Sometimes it's part of the bridal shower but usually not.

A wedding shower is when the bride and groom do the shower event together as opposed to the old-fashioned "bridal" shower which would be ladies only (left over from very old days when the bride would still be at home with parents lol).
Ah, OK, that makes sense.

Thanks so much for taking the time and trouble to explain :hugs: . I looked on line and ended more confused :biggrin:

In the UK, we haven't got there yet. I think the Hen and the Stag are still very different types of parties.
 
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Ah, OK, that makes sense.

Thanks so much for taking the time and trouble to explain :hugs: . I looked on line and ended more confused :biggrin:

In the UK, we haven't got there yet. I think the Hen and the Stag are still very different types of parties.
:hugs: Because the US is so geographically big and runs from very rural to big cities, I think the customs are extremely varied and I am missing a lot, but among my friends, at least younger ones getting married, the bachelor and bachelorette nights are pretty similar here - they tend to involve a lot of alcohol and someone performing in not a lot of clothes :angel: - this applies to weddings of all gender identities.

If folks are a bit older or on second (or third or fourth or...) marriages, the "stag" thing may get skipped completely or the couple just has a party. Showers are affected too since usually no one needs house things - they already have everything and/or are already living together.
 
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snibor

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Americans just call the hen party a bachelorette party. Sometimes it's part of the bridal shower but usually not.

A wedding shower is when the bride and groom do the shower event together as opposed to the old-fashioned "bridal" shower which would be ladies only (left over from very old days when the bride would still be at home with parents lol).
I think it’s great to have the couple do a shower together but I’ve never been to one where men were there. Bridal showers in my area that I’ve attended are still bride and women only. The one I mentioned earlier in this thread I attended at a restaurant was for a young woman, first marriage, women only party. But if having bride and groom at shower is now the thing, I’m all for it.
 
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doni

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OMG, so you have the bachelor/ette party, the wedding shower, and then the actual wedding? All in different dates?
And it is not like the divorce/remarriage rates in the US are low…
How do people manage any socializing outside all this I wonder :P?