What To Do.....???!

Serendipity

Member
Nov 28, 2005
3,059
11
***hugs*** Got to this thread a little late. My husband went thru some horrible stuff with his father's wife. Glad you will have a wonderful time with your daughter! Unfortunate that we can't trade in our relatives!
 

pidgeon92

O.G.
Feb 8, 2006
1,495
2
53
Chicago, IL
Life is too short to spend your time with people who don't treat you well. When my mother was still living, she was manic depressive and an alcoholic and it was a miserable 15 years for myself and my father. I have done my time with a belligerent person who cannot help themselves, I will not do it again.

Glad to hear you did not put yourself through another traumatic experience. Have a great weekend!
 

Accessory Obsessory

VENI VIDI VISA
Mar 9, 2006
1,080
3
Sorry to hear about your tough time, Jill. I know a girlfriend of mine had a similiar situation with her kids and mother-in-law, and she found a book about "Toxic Parents". Don't know if it's still around, but it might have something in there that you can use, for long term solutions or coping strategies. But it sounds like you've done really well with your own girls.
Enjoy your weekend!
 

Deborahsue

Member
Feb 4, 2006
593
2
Jill, I am glad that you decided to stay home. I have been through something like this with my mother, and have had the same question posed to me: if that person were to die, etc. etc. and have decided as you have-- yes, I could live without seeing the person again.

Parents can be toxic. You can't change it. But once you have your own kids, they come first. (Even if it weren't for your daughters, you should not feel bad about refusing to subject YOURSELF to a poisonous situation.) I think sometimes we accept hurtful treatment from our parents and don't even see it or recognize it for what it is -- perhaps because it has always been that way. But, when our kids come along, and we see the same attitudes and treatment extended to them, the situation is really highlighted for us, and we recognize that we don't have to put up with it any more.
 

swee7bebe

Sofa King Addicted
O.G.
Mar 1, 2006
2,817
214
nj
jill...*hugs* i'm sorry to hear about your situation. i think you did the right thing staying home with your daughter. you guys should do something fun this weekend, spend some special time with just the two of you. take her shopping or something like that ;)
 

SuLi

O.G.
Nov 1, 2005
8,589
37
I'm very sorry about your family situation. I don't even really know what to say....I know that whatever you decide to do, no matter how difficult the decision, you and your family will be okay. You sound like a wonderful mother, so I have no doubt that your daughters will be okay.
 

snowwhite

Member
Jan 27, 2006
2,474
0
Alberta, Canada
Jill, I think you did the right thing. Your priority is your daughters, and ensuring they grow up with good self-esteem and knowing what is acceptable and what isn't. You chose to be with them, and that is wonderful!
 
Jan 23, 2006
15,875
19
New York New York
Your obligation is to you and your children !! I wouldn't go.
Why ? to give her the opportunity to humiliate you in front of you're family ?? I think not !
You deserve respect, you owe to yourself and your daughter,
 

Mariah

Member
Dec 24, 2005
1,142
1
I'm glad that you decided not to go. It would be unfair to your youngest daughter and you. I don't even know how someone could favor a couple of people like that and just *ignore* others. That's terrible. I'm glad you have a positive attitude about your childhood, though.
 

beautiful stranger

The Original Angel
Nov 27, 2005
2,480
3
Where it smells of hot cocoa
sorry to hear that!! *hugs*
if it means anything to you ........ i think you shoudl go ....... take your daughters .... just go to the annaversary .. a few hours .. and make the rest of the trip fun for the little one ... :smile: like a mini holiday for her .....