What To Do.....???!


Jan 18, 2006
I am relieved that you decided to stay home so you can avoid that pain for both you and your daughters. I can't imagine how hard it must have been to make that decision, but you did the right thing. I can totally understand wanting to protect my child at any cost, even if that means isolating that child from another family member. It sucks, but its life, and you have to do what is right for you. Besides, we would miss you if you went away for a weekend! Now you can blog with the rest of us, and have some fun with your girls! Big Hugs!


Bonne vivante
Oct 24, 2005
Los Angeles
As someone who comes from a bit of a wacko familiy (seriously), I think you made the right decision not to go. It sounds like your mom tends to pick someone to be the family "goat" and it's up to you to protect your daughter from being put in this position. While you may want to have a relationship with your mom, your daughter needs you and her needs have to come before your mom's. It's just sad that some adults have to be so hurtful, and to children especially. Just be sure your youngest daughter knows that she didn't do anything wrong to make Grandma treat her that way. {{{{Hugs}}}} It's tough when our parents can't be counted on to treat us decently.


I love bags
Sep 13, 2005
Family issues are always hard. I can not give great advice or tell you I know where you are coming from, but what I can say is that you made a good decision for yourself and your family. You see how your younger one is treated and you don't want it to be that way- and that is ok. Keep your girls close- I think that is very important. My sister and I are completel opposites but my mom forced us to stay close despite our differences and I appretiate both she and my moms decision so much.

Sending you a huge big hug!!!!


Mar 13, 2006
Im glad you decide dto stay home,go do something exciting with your girls,and create your own memories.If it was me ,I would send a pic to my mom,and explain what a awsome time you has with your family...


Nov 20, 2005
Jill...I can sympathize with you...to a degree. I have finally decided to put my mother out of my life for good. She is clueless that her actions have the impact that they do on other people and now that I am an an adult I refuse to put up with her lying, cheating ways any more. I want only positive influences in my kids lives. NO more negative for me....our kids deserve the best from everyone. Good luck to you Jill


Blessed...Psalm 139:13
Mar 2, 2006
On the world...
Jill said:
^^^I understand...I gave up a career to be a stay at home mom...the quality time is everything!I am so lucky to have my hubby...he's a doc and totally supports whatever i do...being at home with my girls is soooo important to me..I cant begin to tell you.
I feel the same way about my hubby...now I just need a baby :cry:. I'm sure your girls love having you home too and appreciate all you do. My mom is doing that with my sister which is so nice.


Ladybug Lucy
Feb 13, 2006
Where it never snows
*Hugs* I agree with your decision. You are sparing your youngest the same pain you have faced. That means you're an awesome mom!For your mom to say that only her favorite grandchild can stay at her house is ridiculous. That makes it blatantly clear that you and you youngest aren't welcome. I'm so sorry you have to go through this. I hope someday you can get to the root of why your mother has such negative feelings for the two of you. In the meantime, you have probably learned from her mistakes and are a great mom as a result.


Mar 2, 2006
An advice from a person who sued her own father, do not feel bad because there are a LOT of dysfunctional families out there. I think you made the right decision of not going to the party. Who needs enemies when you have a mother that treats you like that? You have your own family to take now and it is about time that you move on and live a happy life.


Stars Hollow
Feb 13, 2006
Jill I'm glad you made the decision to stay home and spare your daughter the hurt feelings. As a teacher in middle school, I've had so many kids confide in me about family situations and the one thing that I can say is that they always recognize and appreciate the people who look out for them and their feelings. I know that from what you've posted both of your daughters must know how much you love and value them and that is the most important thing you can do for them. Have a great weekend with both of them and do something fun!


Dec 13, 2005
Wow .... that is a really tough situation. I'm so sorry you had to go through that as a child and now your youngest is going through it as well. If it were me I'd pass on the party. From what you've said, it sounds like there would be more heartache than good times for you and your girls at the party. If your eldest girl really wants to go maybe you could send her. It sounds like she's the only one that would actually have a good time and be treated nice. My heart goes out to you.

Beach Bum

Feb 17, 2006
Thanks so much everyone..My 16 year old did fly out....my little one is home with me and is going to have a very fun day with her mommy!


Feb 15, 2006
Just read this thread and Jill, you have my sympathy. The old saying you can pick your friends but not your family is so true.
Just reading all the posts makes me wonder if anyone really had a so called "normal family"
It took me almost 40 yrs to get comfortable with my bi-polar mother. Now that I feel like a grown up, she doesn't effect me anymore but it was hard over the yrs.