A pastor entered his donkey in a race and it won. The pastor was so pleased with the donkey that he entered it in another race again, and it won again. The local paper read: PASTOR'S ASS OUT FRONT. The Bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered the Pastor not to enter the donkey in another race. The next day, the local papers headline read: BISHOP SCRATCHES PASTOR'S ASS. This was too much for the Bishop, so he ordered the pastor to get rid of the donkey. The pastor decided to give it to a nun in a nearby convent. The local paper, hearing of the news, posted the following headline the next day: NUN HAS BEST ASS IN TOWN. The Bishop fainted. He informed the nun that she would have to get rid of the donkey, so she sold it to a farmer for $10. The next day the paper read: NUN SELLS ASS FOR $10. This was too much for the Bishop, so he ordered the nun to buy back the donkey and lead it to the plains where it could run wild. The next day the headlines read: NUN ANNOUNCES HER ASS IS WILD AND FREE. Alas, the Bishop was buried the next day. MORAL OF THE STORY? Being concerned about public opinion can bring you much grief and misery and even shorten your life. So, be yourself and enjoy life...Stop worrying about everyone else's ass and you'll live longer and be a lot happier!