What have I done?

AAA07

AAA07

True Gemini
Feb 29, 2008
1,159
3
#1
Earlier this year my cat, Tommy died. It was a very hard time for me. I was so attatched to her. She was my first cat. A couple months ago I adopted a kitten from my good friend's kitty rescue. She is very sweet and lovey dovey but hyper - crazy!! She runs all over the countertop and knocks things over. I have a little squirt bottle to help train her, but this didn't seem to phase her. She'll attack moving body parts under the sheets while you're sleeping at night and wake you up. I have two boys ages 22 months and 3 yrs. They don't understand the playfullness of a kitten and they are often mean to her. She thinks they are playing so she "plays" back and gently scratches or bites them. They freak out and start crying. She loves people food! She loves to "visit" while we are having dinner and doesn't understand no so we end up putting her in the garage while we eat. I can't be on the computer without her jumping all over the keys...

Lately I have been so stressed out. Stressed and depressed. I so desperately needed some stress reduction. I made the decision to return her to my friend's shelter. My friend was so understanding. I thought this was right for everybody - me, my kids, my other cat, Jerry. My friend kept telling me she was the wrong cat for me from the start. And that she would understand if I wanted to "trade her in". I know she is still a kitten - 5 months and still very playful very high strung. She was just getting on my nerves!! I feel so horrible. I do. I cried as I opened the carrier to let her out to her new home. At home I see her kitten food and all her little toys and get all teary eyed. It feels like the right thing, but then it doesn't. I feel like I gave up. I feel like a bad parent - I gave away a child because I couldn't handle her. She was my responsibility!!

I feel like I need stress management improvement skills or something. If only I could manage stress better I could handle anything. I could handle the wild kitty and everything else. I know I can always go and get her... Maybe when my life is calmer? Maybe when the kids are older? Maybe when she is older? Maybe I wasn't ready for another cat... I don't know. I feel bad. I feel sad. :crybaby:
 
#2
The kitten wasn't a right fit for your family, fortunatley your friend was able to take her back and not end up being euthanized if you took the kitten to a shelter.
 
#4
^ No. If I ever decide to add another animal into my family, it is a permanent home for that animal.

That is why I believe it is so important for people to make careful, informed decisions when looking for a new pet. Avoids a lot of heartache down the road.
 
#5
AAA07 said:
Thanks Amy!

Nobody has had a similar experience?
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I have! One of my cats died in January. In April I decided to adopt another cat. I wanted to give an adult cat a forever home. I took it one step further and wanted a black adult cat as I had just read an article in the paper on how black adult cats were the hardest to find homes for. I named him Jinx. Jinx was a sweet cat, loved to give hugs. Unfortunately, no matter how hard I tried and no matter how much effort and time I put into it, he could not get along with my older cat Smokey. Smokey was terrified of him. He spent most of the time under the bed, if Jinx was in the room he would not come out to eat, drink or potty. At one point Jinx bit Smokey causing an absess that needed a drain and stitches. Then in another incident, in an effort to keep Jinx from attacking Smokey again, Jinx bit me right under my eye. That happened one more time and my husband said it's time to take Jinx back to the shelter. I was devastated for all of the same reasons you had mentioned above. I cried and cried.

In the end I still miss Jinx, but I had to do what was best. Now Smokey is not afraid to come out and eat and is much more relaxed. The shelter let me "exchange" (I hate how that sounds) Jinx so I ended up with 2 kittens, Cali and Bella. I am happy to say that everyone gets along now and life is getting back to normal.

I know exactly how you feel. I felt like a failure and that I let Jinx down. have a picture of him next to my bed. I really did love him, he just wasn't a good fit.
 
#6
Wow, I can't think of a worse combination than a kitten and 2 very small children! Kudos to you for recognizing that you can't handle it and returning the kitten before something bad happened.

Personally I don't think any kind of animal should be brought into a home where there are children who are too young to comprehend that it (the pet) is a living, breathing, feeling organism, rather than a toy. Perhaps when your children are older and more responsible you can try again, but I agree that this is the wrong time in your life to try and add a third "child".
 
#7
My foster kitten annoys the hell out of me.

I can't leave anything lying around - nail files, cell phone, water bottle, pens, you name it. I'll be reading for exams and he's trotting around with my highlighter in his mouth. If I leave the bathroom door open at night he drags toiler paper all over my apartment and stole my toothbrush once.... I've just locked him out of my room 24/7 because he always gets into trouble. Lots of missing makeup brushes and I'm afraid he's going to eat a bobbypin. He's doing something right now, I can hear something scratching around on the tiles. The little bugger bites me and scratches me and eats my hair. Larry loves the people food too. He sticks his face into my drinks and has some so when I have dinner I have two drinks, one with water for him and one of whatever for me because he keeps him out of my food. He steals my food - popcorn, pasta, pizza.

Oh, he stuck in the window right now between the screen and the glass.

But he's also adorable. He does all of these things because he's a kitten and he doesn't know better. Every kitten my family ever owned was the exact same and grew up to be wonderful calm cats. I love this silly boy so much and it's going to be tough for me to give him back in the next week or two.

Your family wasn't ready for a bundle of craziness and good for you that you recognized it... It's better that you sent her back to the shelter than lock her away in some room and ignored her for the next year until she calmed down. She will get another home with someone who can handle her. The day I picked up Larry at the shelter, the foster coordinator told me that they had put five kittens up for adoption at 10 am. By 2 pm only one of them was left and he was deaf or had some special need, I can't remember. Kittens go within hours, seriously.
 
#8
Oh thank you everybody for your sympathetic words. HUGS. It really means a lot to me. I have been feeling bad and yes I miss that little terror!!! I understand bringing a pet into your home is huge and I would never take the situation lightly. The last thing I wanted to do was return her. It was just bad. I had to make a difficult decision. Thanks again sistas - you made my day!! :hugs:
 
#9
he432 said:
My foster kitten annoys the hell out of me.

I can't leave anything lying around - nail files, cell phone, water bottle, pens, you name it. I'll be reading for exams and he's trotting around with my highlighter in his mouth. If I leave the bathroom door open at night he drags toiler paper all over my apartment and stole my toothbrush once.... I've just locked him out of my room 24/7 because he always gets into trouble. Lots of missing makeup brushes and I'm afraid he's going to eat a bobbypin. He's doing something right now, I can hear something scratching around on the tiles. The little bugger bites me and scratches me and eats my hair. Larry loves the people food too. He sticks his face into my drinks and has some so when I have dinner I have two drinks, one with water for him and one of whatever for me because he keeps him out of my food. He steals my food - popcorn, pasta, pizza.

Oh, he stuck in the window right now between the screen and the glass.
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Yep, sounds like normal kitten behaviour to me. I have a nine yeard old and still can't leave things lying around as he steals them to play with. It's just in a cat's nature.

I agree that your kids are too young to understand how to treat a pet and until they are older and you can cope with the natural characteristics of a pet, it's better, for your family and the animal, that you not have one.
 
#10
What my kitten was doing was just normal kitten behavior. I understand that. Chloe would've been my 3rd kitten. Maybe it has been too long but I don't remember my other kitties behaving like that. Maybe it was her behavior on top of the already hectic toddlerisms that amplified her craziness.
 
#11
AAA07 said:
What my kitten was doing was just normal kitten behavior. I understand that. Chloe would've been my 3rd kitten. Maybe it has been too long but I don't remember my other kitties behaving like that. Maybe it was her behavior on top of the already hectic toddlerisms that amplified her craziness.
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I would say that this is what it was - that is all normal kitten behavior and all my little ones did it/do it. But the kitten crazies combined with the toddler crazies is too much. You did the right thing, no matter how bad it sucks to have to do it.
 
#13
Oh I am sorry you are so torn about the decision you made. You know, you lost a cat who was perfect. No two cats are the same and this time you had the added stress of looking after your children too. It is fortunate you had somewhere nice for kitty to go. Dont be mad at you, it was stressful and the wrong time for you. Somewhere in the future you will have a kitty again. Hugs
 
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