What do you do with friends who do not say thank you?

^we're the opposite. . .
DH's family is hardcore about thank you's, I on the other hand wasn't raised to write them but I do!
I always write them, well, always TRY to write them! But I've never let anyone wonder if I got the gift or not:nogood


I'm the same way, I wasn't raised to write thank you's but DH's mom writes them for EVERYTHING. I have a great stack of Thomas Kinkade cards to use for anything that comes along and I enjoy sending them because most people don't and I like getting mail so why wouldn't someone else?

But the reason I said what I did the first time was because if you are giving an unrequited gift to someone, you should just let it blow in the breeze because they didn't tell you to give them a gift, you did it on your own. If you hold yourself to the standard of responding with a thank you no matter what, that's fab because it's a nice gesture, but not everyone was raised to think the same way (that's a whole other thread). The bottom line is that gift giving should be a selfless act, you shouldn't expect a thank you or it just turns the situation into making you feel good for what you've done. You know you gave a great gift, leave it at that.

If I give things to someone, or do a favor, or anything along those lines, I don't expect a formal thank you or repayment to stroke my ego, I do it to bring joy into other people's lives however I can.

May I ask how old the boy is? If this situation were in my family, my mom would have at least made me call to say thank you (since when I was younger the internet wasn't so huge and most family members didn't know what email was anyway). She should be at least giving him the tools to be polite and well-mannered for later in life, or he may end up a boor without realizing it!
 
I sent a HUGE box of presents to a friend last year for the whole family and received no acknowledgment whatsoever. I even tried to call them several times to make sure that they got them, and no one ever answered the phone or called me back. Later on I got the excuse, oh well we were busy w/ family and friends. So I guess I didnt rate, huh? This year I bought a piece of jewelry in Mexico for the mother and have decided to keep it for myself as she hasnt answered my phone calls or called me in weeks.
 
I wasn't raised to write thank you notes, but was raised to overextend myself over any act of kindness or generosity. If someone gives me a stick of gum, I'm likely to offer them my kidney. (Thanks, mum, for that trait. :Push:smile:

I think if it happens all the time and it bothers you, anufang, why not take the lead yourself? I'm assuming there is an EXCHANGE of gifts? Next time you receive a gift from that person, promptly send out your thank you note. They'll understand the concept of gift etiquette eventually.
 
On the flip side, giving something without being asked to, and expecting a thank you...doesn't really seem right. Why are you giving the gift? Just to be thanked? Yes, the person is probably tacky for not taking the time to thank you, but you can acknowledge that and move on. Some people lack manners, some maybe don't think it is important. If I give a gift, I don't expect a thank you at all. I'm giving a gift to give, not to be thanked formally.

:tup: I TOTALLY AGREE! :yes:
 
Well, since I'm in high school, we all joke around a lot and some of us need a little reminder, so I usually go "you're WELCOME!" if someone forgets to thank me...it's joking because they know my personality is like that, but it does get you thinking about saying "thank you" when necessary!
 
It's definitely rude to not thank someone for a gift but unfortunately, thank you cards seem to be a thing of the past. I'm young (under 25) and I've never gotten any thank you cards or notes from friends my age. I've only gotten them from older folk and sales associates.