What do you do when the chips are down

hermes_lemming

my little etoupe
O.G.
May 5, 2006
11,818
2,312
And all hope seems lost? Im going thru a bad right now n need to find a noncostly way to deal. About to read the secret for the 2nd time. Told one of my probono clients to pray. Any suggestions?
 

mary333

O.G.
Mar 27, 2011
461
106
Sunny Coast, USA
I'm sorry you're feeling down right now. Reading The Secret again is a good idea, I love that book. I don't really have any other suggestions since you didn't share more information but that's okay, it's always good to reach out for help. I'll send good wishes your way.
 

Hurrem1001

O.G.
Mar 24, 2009
6,534
1,257
Sorry you're feeling down at present, my lovey. Keep your chin up, and know that things swing in roundabouts. Now you're going through a hard time, but it will get better. Hugs to you.
 

Echoes

O.G.
Aug 8, 2008
10,402
9
I retreat, but that doesn't work for everybody.

Kind of like a turtle, you know?

I'm pretty down on people in general and I do my best to avoid them whenever possible.
 

Cindi

My baby, Bellis
O.G.
Aug 8, 2006
9,872
159
54
PA USA
When I am in a jam I have to actually DO something. I make lists. If the worst happens what can I do, things like that. There is a book called Who Moved My Cheese. It's about dealing with big changes in your life. I read that years ago and found it helpful. If it is about work you might want to start shopping around in your field and see what's out there. With limited info all I can recommend is making lists. It makes me feel better anyway. ((((HUGS))))
 

boxermom

O.G.
Aug 26, 2006
27,084
592
North Carolina
I pray and I force myself to write a gratitude list.

I'm sending cyber-hugs to you, my dear hermes_lemming. FWIW, I always love your posts--fresh with honesty, smarts, and humor.
 

lovlouisvuitton

Yothu Yindi: ~Treaty~
Authenticator
Aug 16, 2012
178,462
117,636
Running amuck in Oz!
Sometimes when you hit rock bottom the only way is UP. Please see the light at the end of the Tunnel ~ All your tpfer's Friends are here to help Guide you back. They are Here and They are waiting. I hope a hug will help you. :hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:
 

Staci_W

Member
Apr 19, 2013
2,139
793
Where the grass is greener
Sometimes, when you think you've hit rock bottom, you realize you were wrong. Things can get worse. I've recently went through a cascade of terrible crap. Why is it that everything hits at once? Things seem to be on the upswing for me. I survived, even though some days I didn't feel like I would. All you really can do is take it one day at a time. I also like to be as proactive as possible with most things. Make important phone calls, get chores and errands done before the deadline so that doesn't add to your stress. And some times just do nothing. Literally nothing, that includes thinking about bad things.

good luck
 
Jan 22, 2009
201,619
9,559
SoFla
I pray. I also try to stop focusing so much on myself. I'm convinced that too much self-pity leads to depression. I look for things I can do to help someone else...no matter how small. I also vent to closest friends & ask for their advice. I hope things get brighter for you soon :hugs:
 

Alexenjie

O.G.
Apr 21, 2006
2,292
890
Pacific Northwest
This will probably sound a little strange but bear with me. I pray but not to God. I pray to my loved ones who are in heaven - my husband, my mom, my dad and my oldest sister. I think God is too busy to listen or respond to all the prayers from earth (but this is just my opinion based on looking at what goes on here on earth).

I feel very sure that my family in the spirit world have helped me when I have been in the most need of assistance. I don't ask for help often or about little things but in my deepest, darkest hours they have always come through.
 

hermes_lemming

my little etoupe
O.G.
May 5, 2006
11,818
2,312
Thank you everyone. I just lost my job 2 days ago.

My company lost its funding and so we moved to a really bad part of the city (hence mace) and the layoffs began.

Mine was the second wave and they shut down 2/5ths of the company. Fingers crossed I will land something better and safer quite soon.

Thank you all.
 

hermes_lemming

my little etoupe
O.G.
May 5, 2006
11,818
2,312
I'm sorry you're feeling down right now. Reading The Secret again is a good idea, I love that book. I don't really have any other suggestions since you didn't share more information but that's okay, it's always good to reach out for help. I'll send good wishes your way.
Yup that's what a good friend said. I have the book and read it last time when I was super nervous about interviewing. Thanks for the good wishes. Keep them coming.:smile:
Sorry you're feeling down at present, my lovey. Keep your chin up, and know that things swing in roundabouts. Now you're going through a hard time, but it will get better. Hugs to you.
Thank you.:hugs:
I retreat, but that doesn't work for everybody.

Kind of like a turtle, you know?

I'm pretty down on people in general and I do my best to avoid them whenever possible.
NO I understand. Unfortunately that wouldn't work in my situation.
When I am in a jam I have to actually DO something. I make lists. If the worst happens what can I do, things like that. There is a book called Who Moved My Cheese. It's about dealing with big changes in your life. I read that years ago and found it helpful. If it is about work you might want to start shopping around in your field and see what's out there. With limited info all I can recommend is making lists. It makes me feel better anyway. ((((HUGS))))
Great recommendation. I'll definitely check out the book. Thanks!!
 

hermes_lemming

my little etoupe
O.G.
May 5, 2006
11,818
2,312
I pray and I force myself to write a gratitude list.

I'm sending cyber-hugs to you, my dear hermes_lemming. FWIW, I always love your posts--fresh with honesty, smarts, and humor.
I know, dear. Likewise!:hugs::flowers:
Sometimes when you hit rock bottom the only way is UP. Please see the light at the end of the Tunnel ~ All your tpfer's Friends are here to help Guide you back. They are Here and They are waiting. I hope a hug will help you. :hugs::hugs::hugs:
Thank you, thank you. :hugs:
Sometimes, when you think you've hit rock bottom, you realize you were wrong. Things can get worse. I've recently went through a cascade of terrible crap. Why is it that everything hits at once? Things seem to be on the upswing for me. I survived, even though some days I didn't feel like I would. All you really can do is take it one day at a time. I also like to be as proactive as possible with most things. Make important phone calls, get chores and errands done before the deadline so that doesn't add to your stress. And some times just do nothing. Literally nothing, that includes thinking about bad things.

good luck
No I totally know what you mean. In retrospect for me it was so traumatic because I remember how bad my life was before I had the job - not eating, all the utilities being turned off and borrowing from friends and family.

So I tried to my darndest to make what turned to be a truly awful situation work out because I didn't want to be unemployed again. I never encountered so many silly female stupid rivalry in my life. And the managers were bad (e.g. like providing zero guidance and raking you across the coals if you mess up first time). Plus don't get me started on the bad work conditions - no one should ever fear for their safety. I'm so happy never to worry about stepping on human feces again or having to carry weapons just to get a cup of coffee. Empty promises were made - nothing was ever in writing (e.g. stock options, bonuses, etc). And you always wondered how much longer the company will be around. The layoff waves were one after another.

I will miss my team, my engineers but I have to trust the Universe and anyone up above has a better plan for me. I'm fortunate to have been able to pay back those I borrowed from in the short time I worked there plus save a small cushion. I heard the market is better so hopefully I will land something soon. I heard I interview very well so fingers crossed.

I started telling my friends. I told my beau and my cousins what happened. They're all rooting for me. My friends couldn't believe how bad it got at work - I never told them because silly me thought I can tough it out. My beau has no idea, he was surprised I was let go and made me swear to tell him everything good and bad going forward. He had a multitude of health and financial issues lately I didn't want to add to the stress. My
cousins didn't know how bad either and pray I find a better and safer job soon.

I started networking and see what's available in my immediate network. Plus I finally have the time to do some long overdue cleaning around the house. It completely sux to be unemployed but I feel brighter this time around.

I know it can be worse, a lot worse, trust me. I was surrounded by druggies, thugs and homeless people. I nearly became homeless myself. I understand how people lose hope and want to either end their life or drink or do drugs to forget about their circumstances. Trust me, I understand that too well. I thankfully never got to the point where I took such action but I understand that dark mentality all too well.
I pray. I also try to stop focusing so much on myself. I'm convinced that too much self-pity leads to depression. I look for things I can do to help someone else...no matter how small. I also vent to closest friends & ask for their advice. I hope things get brighter for you soon :hugs:
Yup that's what I've been doing. I told a few close friends and spoke to another person who was affected by an earlier wave. They all are quite supportive. My adorable pup is reveling in my temporary constant home presence. My beau is a sweetie but he always is. :smile:
This will probably sound a little strange but bear with me. I pray but not to God. I pray to my loved ones who are in heaven - my husband, my mom, my dad and my oldest sister. I think God is too busy to listen or respond to all the prayers from earth (but this is just my opinion based on looking at what goes on here on earth).

I feel very sure that my family in the spirit world have helped me when I have been in the most need of assistance. I don't ask for help often or about little things but in my deepest, darkest hours they have always come through.
No it doesn't sound strange. I've done this a couple times. When things are truly God awful bad, I pray to my dad who passed when I was 20. LOL that's half my life ago. I grew up with two religions and so I generally try to be a good person (yea Im a bit snarky time to time but who isnt?:P)

Everything happens for a reason - even the really bad stuff. I learned that early on in my life. My not so pleasant childhood and teenage years gave me the strength and fortitude to end a failing and abusive marriage. LOL I just didn't expect to lose everything plus the kitchen sink in the years that followed. I never want to hit what truly is rock bottom ever again.

I pray to God sometimes but I think I reach out to my dad more. I am sorry you lost so many dear ones. I can't even imagine my beau dying. I know it will happen one day but I don't want to lose him prematurely - especially when I just found him.
 
Jan 22, 2009
201,619
9,559
SoFla
Thank you everyone. I just lost my job 2 days ago.

My company lost its funding and so we moved to a really bad part of the city (hence mace) and the layoffs began.

Mine was the second wave and they shut down 2/5ths of the company. Fingers crossed I will land something better and safer quite soon.

Thank you all.

I'm so sorry to hear this. I hope you find something else soon :hugs: