Home & Garden What do you do when guests break / ruin something?

[betty.lee]

I was have to ask....who dyes their hair at someone else's house???? That's crazy!!!!

I'm assuming his hair was already dyed. I remember when I had midnight blue hair, the dye always rubbed off on my towels and pillow case after washing.
.....
I once broke a friends bowl at her house, and even tho she said "don't worry about it", I'm pretty sure it ate at her so I searched it out online and had a new one sent to her.

As for myself I don't really care, I have a toddler and pets, they pretty much destroy everything so it's no difference when we have guests over. My dear friends GF broke my cabinet door by pulling on it with the toddler locks, thankfully they aren't together anymore. hehehehe. [emoji23]

 

[berrydiva]

I've learned that often times people tend to treat your things the way they treat their things. They also often associate the price of your things with how much they would pay for something similar. However, if someone is a guest in your home, they're your guest and why have someone over who you can't fully extend your home to?

 

[lulilu]

I have this issue with my sister and her family. Every time they visit, I find things broken or ruined after they leave. Her kids are very rambunctious and she and her DH simply overlook it -- oh, they are just boys. Last time they were here, their dog (uninvited) ruined several large parts of my garden tromping around in it. Their boys made holes in large pool floats, broke plastic water guns and left shards of plastic everywhere near/in the pool, etc. etc. I don't find out until after they leave when one of my kids point it out. But even if they did know, they would not offer to pay.

I just suck it up. My sister has been so good and kind to me over the years, I could never complain. It is still annoying. But as someone said, this is how they treat their own stuff too. But even if the situation were otherwise, I would not expect a guest to replace something accidentally broken. Such is life.

 

[Cheetah7]

What do you do? Do you dress your house up or down for guests? I know if I have friends with kids or pets visiting, I will absolutely put away breakables. But I would think grown adults should know better. Am I being unreasonable?

It's not a big deal to me. Accidents happen after all and it wasn't done on purpose. I also don't expect them to replace it. Most of my guests are courteous and don't create a mess when they come over. I have one friend with rambunctious kids and if I know they're coming over, I just put away breakables and anything that will potentially be destroyed. I see this issue as my responsibility.

 

[tulipfield]

I had some house sitters over for a month (actually one was my house sitter, one was a friend of hers I was nice enough to let stay with her). When I came home I found stains on my bedspread, odd brown marks on the walls, and a broken vacuum cleaner. I let it go, but I'm hesitant to do have house sitters again in case something would ever happen to something more valuable.

 

[Traminer]

I would always offer to buy a new item if we messed up something in a friend's home

So would I - definitely!

 

[prepster]

Thanks for all the responses. Remainsilly touched on something that I think is definitely clouding my judgment. The first scenario with the wine glasses was done by a friend who has broken many of my things and is... generally clutzy and messy and never offers to replace. I think I am especially annoyed because now I perceive it to be a repeated pattern. She is the type of person who borrows clothes and returns them unwashed.

The second instance was just so unexpected because the guest was a MAN! I didn't expect hair dye!

In any case, I think both of these situations must have been really embarrassing for the guest, so I minimized it to help them save face. In the first, she not only broke her wine glass, but dropped it on mine, and they both smashed shards all over the whole chicken fresh from the oven... At a dinner party with other guests. We all had to eat something else!

There have been a bunch of other instances but mundodabolsa is right that I should not be treating my items as if they are precious, and they really aren't. In all the other situations, I've always thought "I could have done that, no biggie." whether someone borrowed and dinged my car or spilled wine on the rug. But almost everybody at least apologizes and offers to do something. I don't get upset at all and honestly don't want them to worry about it because I don't think of my home as a precious place but as a place where I can relax.

I am going to move my nice towels to my bathroom though!

An accident is one thing. Accidents happen, and most of the time we need to accept it graciously, which it sounds like you have done. It is always a good idea when one breaks something at someone's house, to replace it if at all possible. Personally, I wouldn't even ask if I could replace it, I would find out what brand/style it was and have it sent immediately. It's refreshing that you actually use your good things, for yourself, and for entertaining your friends. Many people just save them for "someday," as if someday someone worthy of nice things might visit. On the other hand, "Friends" who carelessly and repeatedly break or damage your home should probably either be entertained elsewhere, or with items that reflect their current level of maturity.

 

[pmburk]

We had a dinner party a couple of months ago, and one of the guests (friend of a friend) had entirely too much wine and ended up spilling a glass of merlot all over my dining table runner (pale yellow velvet). I wasn't thrilled, but it was clearly an accident and I reassured him it was fine. He did offer to replace it, but I told him not to worry about it. I actually washed it & ended up just dying it a darker color figuring it couldn't get any worse, and it looks great, so it worked out fine in the end. This is the first and only time we've had something like this happen with a guest.

We did have a friend who borrowed a very expensive book, and he returned it with a torn dust jacket. No offer to replace, no apology or acknowledgement of it, nothing. That is the last time we will loan anything to him.

Typically, I'm of the "it's just stuff" mindset. If it happened again and was an accident, I would probably handle it the same way as the dinner party incident. That said, if I had a very expensive or heirloom type item that I would be terribly upset if it were broken - I would probably just not bring it out with guests. Especially if you have friends/guests that are "repeat offenders" and careless with property. I would make a mental note with those folks to use "second string" items that you wouldn't feel badly about losing, even if it is something as simple as towels or wine glasses. Some people just do not care about others' property.

As a guest, if I broke/damaged something in the host's home, I would most definitely offer to replace it.

 

[madamefifi]

I think it's natural to be a little put out when guests accidentally break/ruin things in your house, but the gracious thing to do is just smile and say "No problem!" I cannot imagine saying Yes to an offer to replace a broken wine glass or similar, it seems so petty. Of course, I am one who does NOT bring out the best crystal, linens, etc., for guests. Target towels and Crate and Barrel wine glasses are good enough for them, lol. If they want a luxury experience they can stay in an hotel, right? Our style is strictly Shabby Chic here on the farm. Everyone who knows us, knows this. We have CATS for Petes sake! You can't have anything nice when you have cats!

 

[kbell]

If I were hosting an event involving drinks or food I would expect that accidents could happen... food or drink spills, fragile glasses could break even if clinked together too hard. It's life. I would never expect my guests to walk on eggshells because my "stuff" is pricey. My friend gifted me Tiffany wine glasses years ago as a wedding gift & honestly they've been my every day ones I use & have already broken one or 2 myself. I don't count them so I'm not sure & if a guest breaks one so be it. I've broken them. I'm not perfect, I don't expect them to be either. I wouldn't blink if any of my friends accidently broke something and I'd never let them replace it.

1/2 the fun of hosting for me is breaking out the china & fancier items. If that part stops being fun for you then buy cheaper "stuff" and you won't have any worries.