What do you consider cheating?

Vlad

Vlad

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Mar 16, 1980
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#1
I read this question on another board and thought I'd post it here. The majority of the guys said that kissing would already mean being cheated on.

In a relationship with your guy, where do you draw the line? Does it end with kissing or does your threshold go beyond that?
 
#2
I consider a romantic kiss cheating, if its just a peck on the cheek between friends thats fine. I find it amazing what some people don't consider cheating though. I had a friend who's man *forgive me if I'm being vulgar*...did some things to another female's boobs...and that for him wasn't considered cheating since he "didn't have sex with her". I'm sure he would have felt the same way if she had given another guy a blow job *rolleyes*.
 
#3
Personally I consider any sort of intimate contact between two people as cheating. Should it be kissing, oral sex, or beyond that. I think that if you say you love someone and are with them in a bonding relationship, that's just not something you should do with another man/woman.
 
#5
^^^I think thats unforgivable, cheating of any kind that is.

I think its easy for me to say that now that I'm not in a relationship though, but I know that when one is hit with something like that the temptation to forgive or most likely just forget is strong. Its hard to let go of someone you love/care deeply about. IMO its the best thing to do in the end though, if someone can cheat on you once they can do it again.
 
#6
WOW Vlad, you are getting real deep with us this morning! :weird:

I would consider any type of physical contact with sexual feelings cheating...
Unlike some, I do feel that an internet affair would be cheating depending on the feelings..

Being married for almost 30 years (this December) I guess I have some pretty strong feelings about it.

A one night stand could MAYBE be overcome.(and I mean ONLY ONE..not numerous!)...maybe..it would all depend on the circumstances.:amuse:

Anything more, the marriage is over. :sad: :cry:
 
#7
My definition of cheating is kind of harsh.. I heard it somewhere and it fits with how I feel about it..

Anything you wouldn't do with your significant other right there, is cheating.. If you wouldn't flirt with someone with your SO right there, then that's cheating.
Obviously that is harsh, and it's not something that's easy to follow. We are human, we need attention.. It's especially hard when being in a long distance relationship which I'm currently in. I do however live by this, and my fiance does the same. We trust each other 200%, and it's a great feeling.

No, I would not be able to forgive someone who cheated on me and had sex with someone else. Any kind of intimate relationship, physical or emotional, would be beyond of what I'd be able to forgive. We teach people who to treat us, and forgiving something like that is setting yourself up for heart ache.

I respect other peoples definitions and forgiveness, this is just how I feel about it..
 
#8
I actually think there's a lot in what Swedie says. I don't think I'm generally a harsh or unforgiving person, in any way at all -- I'm easygoing, generally, and very much 'benefit of the doubt'.

But I don't think Swedie's definition is all that harsh, considering how serious and important faithfulness is.
 
#9
I think men can look at another girl and appreciate the fact that theyre hot or not. Thats not cheating.
But a man (or woman) can cheat on the other without any physical acts. No kissing no sex etc.
So I think cheating is completely in the head. The moment the other fancies another person it's cheating. To me at least.
 
#10
Yes. There's a huge huge difference between looking at somebody and casually thinking "they are great looking" (but forgetting all about it the next moment) and looking at somebody and thinking "I want to pursue something sexual or romantic with them." Good point.
 
#11
melisande said:
Yes. There's a huge huge difference between looking at somebody and casually thinking "they are great looking" (but forgetting all about it the next moment) and looking at somebody and thinking "I want to pursue something sexual or romantic with them." Good point.
Click to expand...

Very true!
 
#14
cheating starts with kissing and for me it is unforgivable. i have tried to forgive a guy before, but it didn't work. every time i looked at him i thought about it, i couldn't let it go. you can try to forgive, but you'll never forget. i broke up with him in the end, he just wasn't the same person to me anymore.
a person who jeopardizes your relationship for meaningless sex isn't worth your time anyway!
 
#15
Vlad said:
Personally I consider any sort of intimate contact between two people as cheating. Should it be kissing, oral sex, or beyond that. I think that if you say you love someone and are with them in a bonding relationship, that's just not something you should do with another man/woman.
Click to expand...

I agree with this. I also agree with melisande that there is a difference between thinking another person is attractive (we're all human, it's going to happen) and thinking about acting on having intimate contact with that person.

As far as forgiving goes... I'll admit that I have cheated on someone before :shame: It's not something I'm proud of, and it's something I will never do again. The guilt I felt, even though I was in an abusive relationship and this person treated me like crap, was overwhelming for quite some time. I wish I would have had the cojones to just end it, instead of cheating and then ending it, which is what I did. Leaving that relationship was the best decision I have ever made, but what I did wasn't right. Knowing how I made someone else feel, I would say that I probably wouldn't forgive someone for cheating on me, but since I haven't been in that situation (and hopefully will never be), I can't honestly say what I would do.
 
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