Wedding help...r/o KINDA LONG


Sep 13, 2005
For the longest time, I didn't think I was going to have my wedding ceremony in a church & my future MIL was so happy with that because she is buddhist. Recently I've realized that it would mean a lot to myself&my parents that we do it in a church. My fiance is fine with that, he won't convert, but he doesn't mind it at all. Only problem is his mom. She will be so against it, what if she says she will not attend? It's not wrong of me right to want to have it in a church now? Before I didn't and she was happy about that. I've changed my mind since then. I'm stressed. The wedding isn't until March2007. We had to change our wedding date cause of her, she is superstitious and said we could not do it in 2006. PERIOD. I gave that to her, but I don't think I can give anymore. I feel bad and I know I shouldn't cause this is my wedding. When should her son break it to her? :worried:


Sep 22, 2005
My God, yes and my God is in church so you can already see I am bias. I can go on and on about this because I just got married last year and there is always a grudge in my stomach because I didn't do it all for ourselves. It was my parents' party. The first I am saying to you is, DO IT FOR YOURSELVES!!!! I know you want harmony in your special day, you want everyone to be happy, BUT how about you? YOu have to be happy yourself. You have already pushed it to 2007 (my parents picked the day too) for your MIL, don't do anything for her anymore. If it's important for you and your parents to get (your) God's blessing on your marriage, do it!!! If she refuses to come, explain to her that she picked the year for her God, now you'd like to something for yourself and receive blessing from your God (Jess, I believe there is only one God. But I grew up with the mixture!). If she still can't see it then tell her you both would love to have her there for the ceremony but you understand if she can't attend due to her religion, then she can join after the ceremony. Her son should talk to her as well, it's not her wedding. Don't do this for anyone, you will regret it, do exactly how you'd like YOUR wedding to be! Take my words for it! At one point I was so sick of listening to people I started snapping at people...YES became a bridzilla myself... :embarasse shame!
And as I said I grew up with the mixture of Christian and budhist, I am telling you a real budhist is more forgiving, open and loving then being stubborn and pushy and bossy. Buddha will tell your MIL harmony with people and with one's own heart is more desirable therefore let people do what makes them achieve harmony within themselves. Am I making sense here? Just my 2-cent, hope I am helping a little.



Sep 13, 2005
Wow, this woman sounds crazy. Because of her superstitions the wedding couldn't be in 2006? It sounds like she is just making up reasons to push the wedding back because she isn't ready for her child to get married. You need to address that first, before you guys start quibbling over where the wedding should be.


Sep 14, 2005
Congrats to you and your fiance! :biggrin:

I agree with KK, DO IT FOR YOURSELVES!! I would tell your future MIL about your revised plans now. But first I would sit down with your fiance and discuss a "game plan". It's important to be "united" on an issue such as this!

This should be a happy and joyous time for both you and your fiance. Don't give anyone the power to change that for you! ;)


Sep 20, 2005
Congrats first off

Now toanswer your ??? This is your wedding , there for u dont not have to bend for noone but each other. If yo and ur fiance agree to have it in the church then s be it . That is where it is going to be ..........PERIOD


Sep 13, 2005
I agree, this is your wedding and it should be where you two decide it should be. If your fiance was more adamant about not having it in the church maybe it would be more of a consideration, but it seems to be his mother's wish and not his. I would hope that she would eventually be able to look past that, especially when the grandchildren arrive (if any). Sounds like she is Asian, and Asian grandparents just LOVEEEE their grandchildren :smile: