Wedding customs!

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  1. this has been a huge discussion over the past couple of weeks at my house:

    my bro is planning to do his church wedding (you have to marry at the registry first here), and to cut a long story short:

    wedding customs came up - in particular: who pays for the wedding?

    here the father of the bride is expected to invite everyone (this is how they say that here) - but where my hubby comes from it is always the groom himself (a sign of appreciation for the bride)....(lucky him we got married here heh???)

    so, what is the story where you are? specific customs, or do you not believe in these? what did you do?

    for my wedding, my father paid all the way.... :heart:
  2. My father paid for my wedding. Dh's Dad paid for the rehearsal dinner.
  3. when my parents got married, i believe it was the groom who paid and he was given like a dowry (but not really because this was the '70s). i think for me if i marry my SO who is jewish in NYC, it would be 50/50. our parents would probably make some type of contribution but we want to be totally financially capable of paying for it ourselves. i think chinese customs also require the tea ceremony where the asian parents basically give their approval to the groom and stuff. the bride also gets LOTS of red envelope money =D and JEWELRY. haha all the wedding i went to the bride was dripping in gold.
  4. ^^^ I agree with the person above me on the Chinese customs. I'm so glad we get tons of red envelopes because that's mean $$$$!

    But for my future husband and I - it's definitely going to be coming out of our pockets because my parent's cannot afford to pay for any of my three sister's weddings or mine. My bf's parents will probably help us out but not too much. That's one of the main reason we're waiting until we've settled into our careers before getting married.
  5. My husband & I paid for our own wedding. I don't like depending on other people for financial things! I can't imagine asking for money from my parents for things like that! But I guess it's customary for parents to pay!
  6. I think it depends on how old you are when you get married. The younger you are, then the more it is expected that the parents pay. I got married when I was 25 and husband was 32, it made no sense to us to have our parents pay when we both made more money than they did. So we paid for our wedding, even though 80% of our 200 guests were my dad's friends we had never even met before. But since Asian tradition is that they give money instead of gifts, we were ok with it because they pretty much helped pay us back for our expenses!

    I think typical American custom is bride's family pays for wedding, groom's family pays for rehearsal dinner. Asian custom is groom's family pays for wedding. But I think more and more modern couples (especially those who marry later in life) are paying for their own wedding, like we did.
  7. I agree. I'd rather we pay for our own wedding and if the parents want to give us a huge monetary gift then its up to them :smile:
  8. as for rehearsal dinner - I think this is an American tradition, right? do you invite the same people as for the wedding?

    in general I am inclined to agree on the paying for the wedding yourself if you have the money (we didn't but my parents did) - but even so it is a very important custom here which as father of the bride it is a question of honour (sounds quite silly).

    the prospect to earn one day more than my parents is lovely - (but I reckon REALLY far off at the moment)
  9. our parents are splitting the costs down the middle
  10. Asian Customs: groom pays for the wedding. But nowadays, it's diff... you save, you get married. right?
  11. i'm asian and most of my parent's friends on the bride's side pay for the entire wedding. when i got married though, my DH refused to allow my parents to help out. it was important to my DH that he was able to finance it all by himself. i admire him for that. and my parents have so much respect for him bc of this as well.
  12. yes, I got married already - I was just wondering.
  13. Tradidional weddings in the USA usually mean that the father of the bride pays for the wedding and reception, but the groom's family pays for the rehersal dinner (which is for everyone actually IN the wedding; attendants, parents, family members.. not friends or work accociates), and the groom pays for the honeymoon.

    When DH and I got married we were 23 and fresh out of college, so our parents footed the bill but decided to be fair and split the bulk of it down the center. The wedding and reception was taken care of by both families, DH's family paid for the rehersal dinner, my family paid for my dress (and anything pertaining to me; like shoes, hair, make-up, jewelry), and DH and I paid for our honeymoon. It ended up being quite fair, I think. DH and I have talked about it and we may end up making the same plan for our soon to be born daughter.
  14. DH and I paid for our own wedding, with parents contributing a small amount.
  15. This is an interesting topic. In Saudi Arabia (and I think among all Arabs) the father of the bride pays for the wedding and engagement party and the groom takes care of everything else. Among Bedouins though the groom or/and his family foot the bill for everything from the engagement party to furnishing the apartment/house they're going to live in. Most marriages here are arranged, the bride usually doesn't spend more than an hour at the wedding, she walks down an aisle type thing (sometimes with her husband) and it's called a Zaffa and sits under a canopy (looks kind of like a Jewish Chuppah) and people come and say hello to her and congratulate her.. then she leaves for her honeymoon with her husband. The bride and groom usually don't have bridesmaids or groomsmen. The husband pays her a dowry before they get married (some dowries are over a million dollars, but they usually range between 15 and 30 thousand dollars) that she usually spends on a complete new wardrobe.

    My wedding is going to be a lot less traditional (I have to receive a dowry though because it's a religious must) we're going to have a very small intimate wedding in the south of France with close friends and immediate family.. going to be a little difficult though since he has 16 siblings! :shrugs: We'll figure it out though.