Disclaimer: Post may be long due to pent up emotions and frustration. Me and hub are getting married on June 18th wihich is about 11 days away. Things got off to a bad start because he almost forgot he was supposed to file for a Marriage Notice 21 days before the desired date and luckily, I reconfirmed with the Registry of Marriages before we realy missed the date. June 18th is considered an auspicious date this year to get married and because of short notice, we were rushing to get everything done such as fixing the perfect venue, wedding outfits etc Now yesterday, I found the perfect place to hold our solemnization and the view was just what we wanted. Trouble comes in when we are discussing about the guest list and I am mostly close and bonded with my Mum's side of the family who are also a large family (I have 4 other siblings and my Mum has 5 other siblings). Hubby's immediate family is small and close only to his Mum's side of the family (Granny and Aunt) while he is distant with his Dad's side(So no one from that side). Anyway, we started out wanting to keep it to the immediate family members but Mum got so excited (I'm the first one to get married) and broadcasted to all my aunts and uncles, who all believed they were invited and I soon got calls from them congratulating me and telling me what new dresses etc they got for my solemnization, everyone was just happy and excited and expected to be part of the invite. So instead of the small ceremony we planned, Hub made plans and changed the Guest List to accomodate more relatives on my side because we both knew how excited all the relatives on my side were and just didn't want to disappoint them and their good intentions. So the ratio is greatly unbalanced at 1:4 Hub didn't mind and was willing to make changes to keep my Mum happy to show her that he respected her wishes. (Chinese members here should be able to know what I mean. ) Me and hub have only one issue and that is 3 children of a particular Aunt of mine. They are noisy, spoilt and disrespectful of everyone around them. Everyone dreads seeing those 3 kids at gatherings! Basically, everyone thinks they are the Devil's Spawn and while my Aunt is a nice lady individually, she becomes extremely protective and very aggressive whenever anyone makes -ve comments abt those little devils. She constantly compares them and brags about how smart and gifted her children are. But the way she teaches her kids are funny and they have ever shouted and scolded at her in front of everyone and she just scoffs it off, not even disciplining them! Both her sons are beaten constantly in school for insulting classmates and she goes off to school to screw the teachers for letting her precious sons get beaten. Her daughter has no friends and just uses her daily lunch money to call her until lunchtime is over because none of the children want to play with her. In short, we all know that her children are pretty egostistical at age 8 - 10 and she and her husband reinforces it. Now I have other young little cousins as well and I want them to be at the ceremony! But the thing is, I can't just specify that I want my other cousins there and not the 3 devilets because she would then begrudge me till Kingdom come for not inviting her precious devilets since she thinks they should be the first choice when it comes to inviting kids. So me and hub decided to NOT have any kids in order to be fair and not give her a chance to find fault but, now it seems that she and my mother have been having some 'afternoon tea' and now, my mother and eldest sis keeps telling me to invite the children when I and Hub don't really want to because we can just foresee all the misbehaviour by the 3 devilets and we just don't want that day ruined. My eldest sis then starts saying how stingy, how badly it would reflect on us yadda yadda for not inviting the children and my aunts would probably not turn up etc etc and I would lose face etc etc, I hate talking to my Sis when she's like that and then tries to disclaim that she's not trying to psycho me into inviting them but ends every ****ing sentence with: "But I mean I would invite the children and show my generosity if it were my wedding....". Then my MUM who said before she understood is instead dropping hints that maybe the children should be invited - WTF? I keep telling her why I don't want to take the chance and she starts by going: "It's not like they won't bring gifts/money." And she doesn't understand that it's NOT the $$ issue and then suddenly, she threatens to boycott the ceremony! Wtf!? That really hurts me because she always does that when she's losing a point and I hate that! Bear in mind that this is all happening because of my aunt who wants the 3 devilets to be THERE and my sis loves to sow a little discord whenever she's PMS-ing, now I am expected to change the Guest List yet again and I think someone on the forum once said abt Chinese families : Damned if you do, Damned if you don't. Hell right about that! I"ve just had a big fight with Hub about this and he hates the 3 devilets. He just doesn't want to take the chance, have them go and give them a chance to potentially spoil the ceremony. I"m on the verge of cancelling the entire event because I hate it when I'm expected to please everyone which I want to but no one seems to care about what me and hub feel. Hub just called me this morning and said he spoke with my future MIL who is understanding and doesn't mind inviting more ppl (I'm very thankful to her for being understanding) and now, the thing is I'm guilty and very thankful at the same time about what Hub is going thru and willing to change the Guest List once again. I really want to show him my appreciation but I don't know how and we are not exactly on talking terms at the moment, just very matter-of-fact with the entire thing. And at the same time, I don't feel like talking to my Mum about this AT ALL and she's giving me the cold shoulder as well. I understand her expectations since I am the first one getting married and she wants to make sure that it'll at least be a presentable and memorable wedding for all my aunts and I understand their excitement and concern for me but honestly! I just feel that she's trying to sacrifice my feelings to please my aunts and live up to their expectations. I just don't know what I can do to make up to Hub and at the same time, quell the situation. Even though he's given me the green light, I don't know what to do now. I want to just get it over with and invite all the children (3 devilets included) and stop all the -ve comments coming in but at the same time, I don't want HUb to be unhappy. EDIT: Am I being selfish and is it wrong of me to want to please everyone? Really sorry about the long post, I just need to vent and well, Mods if you think this is too long, please feel free to delete the post. Thanks again for the outlet.