Wedding band advice...

[LabRatPhD]

Hi all!

I was engaged last year and am now in the process of deciding on a wedding band! I have flip-flopped quite a bit on what I want and FI has a strong opinion of what he wants for me, so I figured I would get a third-party opinion.

Originally, I wanted a thin micropave eternity band so I could collect stackers over time. I love the look of thin stacked bands with a solitaire! FI doesn't like the stacked look but really liked the look of my solitaire with the Tiffany Novo.

Lately, however, I absolutely love the look of a substantial eternity band with a solitaire setting. I would be interested in an eternity in the 2.5 tcw range. FI HATES this look. Our SA at Tiffany found an eternity that was 1.59 tcw in my ring size (2.5) and had it brought in for me to try on as an example, since it is so incredibly rare to find a ring in my finger size. I liked it but felt like the stones could be bigger, but FI thought both my solitaire and the eternity together looked gaudy and "too blingy". How can anything involving diamonds be too blingy?! In the end he said it was my ring and my decision so what he thinks shouldn't matter. My normally non-sentimental FI did tell me though that he is only getting me one wedding band because he wants one band to be a symbol of our marriage. He doesn't like the idea of multiple stackers.

Another reason I love a substantial eternity is that after we get married, I think I will stick to wearing just the band itself to work. My solitaire takes a slight beating because I am clumsy and I work in a lab where I am constantly washing my hands, putting on/taking off gloves, etc. A thin band alone doesn't look as appealing to me.

So if you were me, what would you choose? Like I said, my finger is a size 2.5 and my solitaire is a 2 ct RB in the Tiffany 6-prong knife-edge setting. I need to decide soon as the band will have to be custom made in my size, which will take a few months. I don't think my band will be from Tiffany as I am not a huge fan of their eternities.

Here is a pic of my ring/hand. Thank you for your input!

 

[Bagaday]

Can I just say that Oh My Gosh, you have slim fingers!!!! 2.5 is incredily small for a ring finger and I can only imagine how difficult sizing rings for you must be since most in-store stock sizes in general are a 6!! Anyway, I think a simple solitare with an eternity band is so lovely and classic - would never think 'too blingy'. Are you thinking of going with a prong-set eternity or a channel set? The way you describe your everyday activities says to me that you would KILL a prong set eternity over time. I have a 4 ct twt eternity prong set and I am very conscious of it when wearing - it's for my right hand. I love it, it's so beautiful but not for an everyday, taking a beating. No way would I do it. You could always do the diamonds 3/4 ways around the shank therefore the bottom can still take a bit of a beating if you go with a shared prong look. Otherwise I would look at channel set. Best of luck in finding your wedding band!!

 

[gabz]

What about getting the blingy eternity band and maybe wearing ur solitaire on ur right ha d if ur fh thinks that looks better? I personally lve the look of one ring on each hand

 

[afsweet]

i don't like the look of substantial wedding bands. i think it does indeed look too blingy or flashy. if you wear your e-ring and band on separate hands then it'll look better, but on 1 hand i'd go with something more delicate so your beautiful e-ring is the center of attention.

 

[HauteMama]

I agree with stephc005. I don't like the look of large stones on eternity bands with a solitaire. I think it takes away from the beauty of the engagement ring. However, if you are going to be wearing it separately without the e-ring then that's a different story. I don't like the idea of wearing the rings on separate hands, but that's probably just because I am traditional. Overall, I still prefer the smaller eternity band or the micro-pave look. But in the end, it really doesn't matter what any of us think; you are the one wearing the rings and the one who has to like them. It would be crazy for you to buy a wedding band based on what other people like!

 

[LabRatPhD]

Thank you for the input everyone!

Bagaday - I want a prong-set eternity. I know wearing both my e-ring and prong-set w-band together will probably damage the prongs so I plan on wearing a thin platinum spacer in between.

gabz - I think both FI and I are traditional in that we want me to wear my w-band on my left hand. Whatever I choose will stay on my left hand!

stephc005 - I didn't really care for substantial eternity bands either but recently I have seen some very lovely sets where the solitaire is about the same size as mine and the w-bands are in the 2.5-3 tcw range. Now I am having a tough time deciding.

HauteMama - As I mentioned above, FI and I are also traditional in that we want me to wear my wedding ring and e-ring on the same finger.

Obviously, I am going to chose what I love and suits me the best, but I am in a pickle in that what I love is not what my FI loves. My FI is a very generous and loving man and I would hate to get something that he simply doesn't like. However, keeping in mind that I am the wearer, I want to get something I know I love. I guess I started this thread as a means of discussion since my FI and I are on opposite ends of the spectrum as far as this decision goes. It never hurts to see what others would do - unless it makes the OP even more confused!

 

[lanasyogamama]

I have a very simple band because I didn't want to take away from my diamond. Now that I'm getting close-ish to my 10th anniversary I *really* want a nice eternity band for use as a RHR. I think you should focus on getting something that both you and FI will be happy with. It sounds like the stacking rings might be the best compromise.

 

[lorenzo94580]

My normally non-sentimental FI did tell me though that he is only getting me one wedding band because he wants one band to be a symbol of our marriage. He doesn't like the idea of multiple stackers.

Since you mention that your FI is only getting you one band, I'd go with a 3/4 eternity or an eternity with a sizing band to allow for weight flux in the future. As someone who has been married for 5+ years and is the mother of 2 children, I'm sorry to say I can't even wear my eternity anymore as a result of so much weight flux over the years. So please bear that in mind in making your decision.

 

[risingsun]

Have you considered a five stone band. You can have plenty of bling, without the additional size that a full eternity will show from the sides of your finger. Before I reset my diamond, I wore a five stone ring wedding band, with each diamond being a 20 pointer. It looked great with my e-ring and didn't overwhelm it.

 

[HauteMama]

It is almost too bad that your fiance is influencing your decision. While the two of you should be honest with one another, this really is something that YOU will have to wear and enjoy for years to come. He will glance at it once in a while, but not enough so that he should be discouraging you from getting what you want.

Honestly, I don't like my dh's wedding band; I never did. When we went to look at bands for him, the two of us went to different cases in the store because we had completely opposite ideas of what he "should" wear. Once I discovered that he wanted something completely different from what I had pictured in my head, I never said another thing. He got the ring he wanted, and he wears it. And after the first year or so, I cannot say that I've even noticed it much. It's on his finger, so it has to be what he wants to wear.

Likewise, while I am probably more in agreement with your fiance regarding the "too blingy" thing, that's really neither here nor there. After these discussions are over and you decide, just keep in mind that it will be YOU looking at your finger every day. Once the decision is made, he probably won't say anything else about it, so don't compromise to make him happy about the ring style. It has to be somehting that you will sigh when you look at it and think it is perfect.

 

[Gimmethebag]

Have you thought about maybe a 5 stone emerald band, like Marilyn Monroe's wedding band? Or an asscher cut eternity band?

Step cuts give off a different kind of light, so your FH may not think it looks as blingy.

 

[ame]

I was going to suggest a half-eternity, that is no wider than your e-ring shank. So probably along the lines of 5-6pt stones. That will be sparkly but not ludicrous. Then you can get a plain band as well.

 

[ahertz]

I'd get the pave for your wedding and ask for a substantial five-stone for your first anniversary. Then you'll have a band to wear with your ering and something else to wear to work everyday.

 

[Babestaaa]

I vote for your fiance's suggestion. You definitely don't want to steal the beauty from your center stone, that's gorgeous! It's so classic and traditional, just an everlasting piece. I think the eternity bands are nice and stackable ones as well, but I feel that's just a "phase" personally (no one get offended lol) but just like the halo's and other trends IMO. I feel as if later down the road you guys celebrate certain things in your marriage and/or life together you can get "celebration" = "stackable rings" that will symbolize a lot as well in your marriage and you can switch them up then. A lot of the posters made great suggestions and considerations to future concerns regarding pregnancies, your career, etc. Good factors to take into consideration. Whatever you chose, will be gorgeous! Good luck in your decision & soon to be wedding!

 

[Lola]

Since this is your wedding band and you receive it at the start of your marriage, I think that you and your FI should agree and compromise on something that you both like. Since it's a symbol of your life together, I think it's important to take his opinions into account. It is supposed to be a ring from him as a gift and token of his love for you. So I think his opinions absolutely matter. It's like starting out on the right foot.

I think a 1/2 or 3/4 channel set would be ideal.

Eternity bands are difficult to size.

A 1/2 or 3/4 band would allow you to have the inside engraved with his name or the date or both--it's a nice sentimental touch.

Since he is sure about wanting only 2 bands on your finger, adding a spacer means adding another band. So why not get a channel set, which is much more durable, and doesn't require a spacer?

In terms of size/carats, why not meet him halfway and get something in the middle?