Was your husband reluctant to let you stay home?

#46
jillybean307 said:
Hehehe, it's funny that you assumed it was a "he". The professor was a woman. The worse part was that she had a kid-I think she blamed her daughter for her not getting tenure or something like that actually.

I agree that both careers and SAHM are important, but I think it's dangerous for a woman to think she can changed her SO's opinion after they get married. My aunt tried that and it ended in disaster.
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There are just some people that shouldn't have kids... she sounds like one of them! What is a woman supposed to do if she gets divorced and has to go back to work... I can't believe any teacher would be allowed to repeatedly tell students that! There are lots of women that don't want kids, one of my best friends has her own business, her bf is very successful, they'd rather travel than be tied down... and then I have another friend who is so excited to have kids. I think the people that want the same things have to find each other to be happy... obviously that guy isn't going to want to be with someone who wants to stay home with kids and the woman who's career is super important to her isn't going to marry a man who wants a stay at home wife.
 
#48
It really shouldn't be SAHM vs working moms. It's what is best for the mom and the $$$ situation. For me personally I want to be there for the girls (for the most part, sometimes they just drive me up the wall).:Push:
 
#49
I think every woman has to do what's best for them personally, not what everyone says is the right thing, be it stay at home mom or working mom. I think women in general need to be more tolerant and accepting of each other's choices when it comes to raising a family.
 
#50
My husband is receptive to the idea that my priority when we have kids will be our children. However he also fully supports and thinks my pursuing higher education is good.

However I think he's nervous about the fiscal damage I will do in an affect to keep my busy.
 
#51
I was a SAHM for a few years when my son was born. Then my baby went to school and I started a home based business and kept myself busy doing that. I think it's a personal choice. Some people are great at being at home and looking after their kids but some of my friends have gone back to work (even earlier than they had to) because they didn't feel that they were cut out to be SAHM, you know? As for your friend, I am sorry that he feels this way. Maybe you can welcome him to the 21st century!;)
 
#52
i agree that it is a personal choice, whatever suits your lifestyle. my husband could not care less if i work or stay home as long as i am happy and not make his life miserable!:P he flies for a living so if i do work, i won't even get to see him at all. to me, that defeats the purpose of me staying in a Singapore if i can't be with him. hey, life is short, do what makes you happy! :yahoo:
 
#53
Nobody is making this about SAHM versus working moms... I just asked for your experience, hence the title of the thread! I agree that there's no general rule that can be applied across the board. Thanks to everyone who shared their husband's opinion. I think this stuff is so interesting!
 
#54
i don't think any of the boyfriends that i've had would have wanted me to stay home, and honestly i prefer it that way. my mom was a working mom all my life and still had plenty of time for me, and i feel like i'm just sort of spinning my wheels when i don't have a job, even during the school year. i enjoy working thus far, and i don't think i'd want to give it up. that's just my personality! plus, if i go to law school like i plan to, i stand to be the higher-earning spouse of most couples.
 
#55
My boyfriend and I decided that when we have kids eventually I'm going to stay home with them (we'd rather raise them ourselves than send them to daycare)....but i'll work until that point and then when they're old enough to go to school i'll start working again.
 
#56
This is definitely an interesting thread. I agree with the previous posters who have said that the decision really has to be what works for each individual family- what works for one, might not work for another. It has made me think though about how fortunate many of us are that we even have the option. There are many families/situations in which the woman doesn't have a choice because her income is necessary to make ends meet.
 
#57
Some spouses just dont want to support the other one. But they dont realize how much they would have to pay other people to do what their stay at home spouse does daily. Just daycare alone (a good one) costs $1000 plus a month these days.

People dont give stay at home parents enough credit. Their job is not easy. I stay/work at home and its tough sometimes but I love it. I read this article once that I found pretty interesting.

Imagine if stay at home parents were paid to do what they did on a daily basis. Their spouses would soon find that they would earn way more $$$ than they do, an estimated 6 figures:

http://money.cnn.com/2006/05/03/pf/mothers_work/index.htm?cnn=yes

I wanted to add that I think that if you don't have kids then what is the purpose of staying at home after marriage? I dont think marriage = ahh, I can stay at home and do nothing now. Until there are kids involved I believe each side should bring something to the table. Go to school, volunteer, not just stay at home while he brings home the bacon. If it were the other way around and we did not have kids, there would be no way I would be out there working while he sat at home.
 
#58
I've been married 17 years and all throughout my marriage I work if I want to. A year ago I decided to go back to college full time to finish my major and my husband was and still is very supportive.
 
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