Was your husband reluctant to let you stay home?

#16
Don't get me wrong, I love working, but I love my time off, too. It is a personal choice for all of us what we want to do with our lives. We are lucky to have choices.
Some people I know in my field of physical therapy work 2 jobs so they can make more money. For me, it is just too much! I become physically and mentally exhausted and I don't want to do anything on the weekends.
 
#17
I was a stay-at-home-girlfriend for a number of years. With my then boyfriend's (now husband) travel schedule, it was just easier for me to take care of things while he was away, as well as travel with him.

We both agreed that it would be best if I was a SAHM once we had children.
 
#18
My dh would support whatever decision I made. For me personally, I really enjoy working and would not choose to be a SAHM. Not that there is anything better with either choice.
 
#19
No... It was both our decision for me to stay home.
I stopped working the day my daughter was born,
she was 4 weeks early and was only 3 lbs. then got pregnant right away and she was 4 lbs.
Our pediatician asked us if I could afford not to work bec my kids need special attention.(they dont eat well.)
I never thought I'd be a stay at home mom, I loved working and having my own money,
but you cant predict what life has in store for you...
I just try to enjoy the ride!;)
 
#20
I just brought this up with husband a couple days ago. He honestly does not want me to stay home full time. And it's more about money than anything else. :Push: I figure, I make quite a bit less than he does and by the time we have kids he'll be making even more. I could work part time I suppose but I really want to be home the first couple years...or at least the first full year. If I could build up enough savings he might go for it.

It sounds like your friend doesn't yet have a realistic idea of what it means to raise a family. There are several women at my work who have nannies raising their children. That's their choice. But I could not do that. And I know for a fact my husband could not do it.

My "career" (such that it is) isn't more important to me than raising a child. But I would need to find a balance with adult time because I'd go screwy if I was stuck in the house 24 x 7 with a kid. :upsidedown:
 
#21
It's funny. . . DH was raised in a very June adn Ward CLeaver household in NYC.
Dad was on NYPD and then on NYFD for a long time. Mome stayed home nad cooked 3 meals a day. . .

When we met, he swore he wanted to be a DINKS household.
I never personally saw that for myself, once I became a Mother I wanted to raise my children at home.

He changed THANK GOD, I kept asking him, "what are you going to do w/ all that money?"
"Aren't you going to be lonely? Your parents will be gone eventulally and your brother isn't married, has no children . . . "
"Are you going to be happy being filthy rich and all alone at 50, 60 or 70 yrs old?"

He's a changed man! :biggrin:
He wouldn't have it any other way now!
 
#22
gillianna said:
I doubt if your friend will change and good luck to his wife if he ever decided to get married.
I had a friend who married a guy like that and even though he made about 10 times more than her they split all bills in the middle. Their money belonged to the person who made it and they did not share. It took her about a year to realize this was not how she wanted to spend her life so she divorced him and is married with a baby on the way and working from home and has a husband who treats her like a queen.
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This reminds me of one of the daughters in the movie "The Joy Luck Club"!
 
#26
Interesting responses!

Personally, I would prefer not to work once I become a mom. My mother was a stay at home mom and it was wonderful having her around: I'd want to do the same for my kids. I cannot imagine marrying some guy who would tell me that I had to work: raising his kids IS important work!

I think my buddy will change his mind. His mom was a SAHM but he's going in the opposite direction. He dates these hyper-competitive, hyper-accomplished career women and then wonders why they end up breaking up because they only see each other like 2 hours a month. :shrugs: I have no idea if he even pays for their dinner. At least he pays for mine when he's in town!
 
#27
My husband LOVED it during those years when we could afford for me to stay home. It made life so much simpler for all of us.

Now that I am many years older and back out in the dating world...I find that there are a lot of men who do not want to share their money with ANYONE. They won't consider even dating someone unless she's "financially independent" (ummm..I'm the only one supporting myself..doesn't that qualify me? LOL) as they are so afraid they will have to spend a penny of their money on someone else. It's just the tip of the iceberg on a bigger selfish trait.

I don't date these guys. LOL
 
#29
IntlSet said:
Interesting responses!

Personally, I would prefer not to work once I become a mom. My mother was a stay at home mom and it was wonderful having her around: I'd want to do the same for my kids. I cannot imagine marrying some guy who would tell me that I had to work: raising his kids IS important work!

I think my buddy will change his mind. His mom was a SAHM but he's going in the opposite direction. He dates these hyper-competitive, hyper-accomplished career women and then wonders why they end up breaking up because they only see each other like 2 hours a month. :shrugs: I have no idea if he even pays for their dinner. At least he pays for mine when he's in town!
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But why should he change his mind? I don't think it's necessary-there are plenty of women who work & have children. It's not like only SAHM raise well adjusted children.

Also, I wanted to add-where he went to school might color his opinion. My professors on many occassions said to the women in my class, "If you're planning on being stay at home mom after graduation, you might as well drop out now and give your place to someone who deserves to be here." To those, a SAHM is about as useful to society as a square wheel. If he heard this for four years, like I did, I understand.
 
#30
Well, I had to work when my kids were born. I was very lucky and had a mom who babysat for me 4 days a week with the first one and then 3 days a week with both of them. They only had to go to daycare 2 days a week.

I stopped working about a year ago because my hubby got a promotion and he works out of the state all day and sometimes into the night. There is also more travel involved. My kids started kindergarten and pre-kindergarten and they start at different times and get out in the middle of the day and dropping off and picking up and there was just no way to fit a job into all of that. So, naturally because he makes way more than I could ever dream of.....I stayed home and he agreed that it should be me (otherwise there would be no paying of the bills :smile:.

I do love it. Sometimes the kids drive me right out of my mind and I say "What did I do??????" But, if I had to make the choice again, it would always be the same one!!!!!

I am very thankful for all that I am blessed with.
 
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