Was this rude of my cpa to say?

jackie100

O.G.
Jan 17, 2007
1,177
25
This incident happened 6 months ago actually, but I remember it now cause my cpa just sent me an e-mail asking me to update my personal info for his address book service thingie and I just feel like telling him off... He only did my taxes once so it's not like we have a real tight business relationship.

What happened was that he did taxes for my business and he's also a certified financial planner. So we started talking about my SEP plan and about investing and things like that, and I was just asking him a few questions like "What do you think about REIT's", that's all I said, and then he replied "Noooooo nooo REIT'S at this time. It's cause you're uneducated. You're ignorant". He really told me I was uneducated and ignorant to my face, am I over-exaggerating about this? Could it be that he just meant that I'm uneducated regarding financial matters but perhaps he phrased it "harsh" by using those terms? Am I making a big deal by thinking he was rude for saying that? He said that he is knowledgeable about those things because he is constantly reading financial books/magazines, keeping current with the financial trends, and obviously has a degree for his type of work. I still don't think he should be calling paying clients "ignorant", isn't that kind of unprofessional? At least wait till I'm out of the office to call me that, but to my face?

I also wonder if he would call me "ignorant" and "uneducated" if I were a man?? Would he still dare to say that to a man, or is it because I'm a woman? I have a hard time believing a man would let another man get away with calling them "ignorant" in a professional setting. WTF?

I'm a passive person so at the point it happened I didn't act like I heard anything and played stupid, I just pretended I didn't hear what happened. I was also in a rush because I waited until the last minute to do my taxes so I couldn't just walk out of there. I'm passive-agressive, when things bother me I don't speak up in real life because I guess I am "too timid" in real life, but I'm aggressive on the inside and I have NO problem being assertive on-line (its only the internet) so that's why I want to tell him off by emailing him back.

Am I over-exaggerating by being pissy about it? I want to email him back and tell him that I found his behavior unprofessional and for him to delete my address period.
 
He may have not meant it in an ugly way, but that still is a pretty bad thing to say to someone unless you know the person better. Unless he's a total ******* though my guess would be he just meant you are an uneducated investor and ignorant of the subject.

Nobody can get in his head and know what he meant. I say if it makes you uncomfortable just find another CPA.

As far as whether he'd call you that as a man, well, sometimes men tend to be MORE harsh towards each other, very blunt. I know the man who owns the business my dad works for can be very crass, rude, and obnoxious. He does it to my dad just like everyone else. And if you're a man you damn well better not cry about it.
 
There is no upper management, it's his own business, just him and a receptionist. Of course I'm not going back ever and getting a new CPA.

I just want to tell him off just because it will make me feel good inside to do it. I am angry at myself for being passive when it happened and not speaking up for myself when it happened so now I want to let my anger out by complaining over it via e-mail.

When stuff like this happens in "the moment" I get too flustered and tongue-tied to say anything witty back and I'm also too passive. It's hard for me to stand up for myself in real life because I can't think of anything to say because I'm so upset and traumatized when it happens. I can only think of the right things to say after I'm home and rehearse what I should have said, then I do loads of research on-line about whoever was rude to me, their company, everything and then I tell them off by phone or e-mail or if it's applicable complain to higher-ups. I just can't do it when it happens, only in the aftermath.

I am great in e-mail etc because I have a lot of time to think things out and plan all my points and be as aggressive as I like.

Ok, looks like I will write him back and tell him off then... Thanks girls.
 
how much of your personal information does this person have. Can he cause you any problems if you tell him off. If you tell him off keep your eyes on all of your financial information.
 
Who cares? It was 6 months ago and he probably would have no idea what you're talking about.
I think he was referring to your financial knowledge, but still, he shouldn't have said that. I mean, I don't tell people they're ignorant when they don't know how to write SQL code.
But yeah, let's move past it. No need to email him back.
 
Originally posted by Charles
Who cares? It was 6 months ago and he probably would have no idea what you're talking about.
I think he was referring to your financial knowledge, but still, he shouldn't have said that. I mean, I don't tell people they're ignorant when they don't know how to write SQL code.
But yeah, let's move past it. No need to email him back.

ITA Charles!!:tup:
 
First, if you know what a SEP and an REIT is you're anything but ignorant.

Second, a good CPA/financial manager should jump at any opportunity to charmingly impress you with his financial knowledge and fill in any gaps in yours to prove how indispensable he is to you. Calling you "ignorant" is ignorant on his part.

But he said this six months ago so surely he doesn't remember it now. And if he called you ignorant he has called other clients ignorant. It's not just you.

I would ignore his e-mail request and move on to find another CPA. If he e-mails again, hit delete. He'll get it. I'm sure other clients have brushed him off.

Did he say these things to you because you're female? A good possibility. Sexism lives and is growing strong. But it was still stupid on his part to say what he did.

I know what you mean about hating being passive when someone says something that is shockingly insulting to you. I find myself doing the same thing much to my annoyance. I was raised to be too polite. And the times when I have spoken up I find myself arguing till the cows come home with some *sshole and it never seems to help the situation. Don't beat yourself up over it. Just promise yourself you'll speak up the next time.
 
^^i agree...it's too late now to say anything and have it mean anything. he will write you off as a pms-ing biatch (i'm not saying you are, b/c he was totally wrong). find a new cpa and warn your friends about him.

btw, what is an SEP, REIT, and SQL code? i think i'm feeling a bit uneducated now...
 
Ok, you guys are right, I'm not going to say anything at all since it's over 6 months ago, he probably has no idea who I am and it's in the past. I wrote a scathing e-mail and saved it as draft but I just won't send it...

Kpanda21, SEP is a retirement plan for self employed, similar to a IRA but with more benefits for me because I'm allowed to put more money in it annually vs a regular IRA.

REIT is a type of investment fund, similar to a mutual fund but instead involving real estate.

SQL is a type of programming code.... I only know this cause I have had to install some SQL scripts or used them before cause I work on-line... lol
 
Sorry I would have to get this out of my system..I would email him back and say I had forgotten he even existed and have since found a new CPA who is more experienced and can serve my needs better. Hah.
 
:wtf: I can't believe he spoke to you like that. My DH is a financial advisor, and they know very well that they are here to help better peoples lives as best as possible and to help answer any questions you may have, not to degrade them!!!