Was it a form of racial bullying?

hunny_bii

O.G.
May 25, 2009
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I know this is a highly sensitive topic especially during a time like this. I want to share this experience with you all just to kind of vent and not to stir things up to affect this wonderful community we have here in tpf. Please be kind to one another. :heart:

So I was out in my front yard doing some gardening work when an 8-10 year old boy passed by with his family and commented “See! It’s Chinese again! This is the 5th house we’ve seen on this street!”. I didn’t look directly at them but was kind of waiting to see if the parents would say anything. Unfortunately, they didn’t say a word to the child.

I know it might be just an innocent comment but I felt extremely uncomfortable. Was it racist? I might be over sensitive right now and it’s the hormones talking (I’m currently pregnant), but this all happened in front of my 3 yo daughter. I can’t help but start feeling anxious about how she might be bullied when she starts school. How can I prep her to deal with racism or even just bullying in general? How should I introduce these topics to her?
 

Megs

I love bags
Admin
O.G.
Sep 13, 2005
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It's hard to say if that was a form of racism from this story.

We've always talked to our kids about people being different in their hair color, eye color, skin color, languages they speak, foods they eat, where they live, how their family is set up, etc. We've been talking about it more with our kids more recently (our daughter is 3.5 and son is 18 months, so he isn't following along). Millie will now sometimes look at someone and say "their skin is darker, all skin is beautiful!". I just tell her yes, we are all different, all of our skin colors are different and all are beautiful.

I'd like to hope that child was doing something similar, having conversations at home with his family and realizing that people are different but we are still all people. But I always follow up when Millie says anything and we talk about it more.

It's hard to think about your kids going to school and being singled out for anything, especially their race. I think it's important to just continuously talk to your daughter about it (she's about our daughter's age!). We do a lot of open talk, allowing Millie to ask us anything and have no questions be off limits. We also have tons of different books that some talk about racism, kids being picked on, being kind, etc. But I also think it's important to just introduce your daughter to books that have main characters that are different races or shows with different people in it. :heart:
 

Swanky

Admin
Admin
O.G.
Jan 12, 2006
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Kids love to talk and speak everything that runs through their minds, they legit narrate! They’re also pretty literal and it could’ve been just that, like pointing out everytime he sees a blue truck.
 

i*bella

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Mar 20, 2009
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I'm assuming the boy was not Asian and this wasn't a case of "wow there are other people on this street who look like me?"

I think this child's behavior is a reflection of what the parents say/do at home. Assuming that an Asian person is automatically Chinese is a clue. It smacks of "all look same" and "there goes the neighborhood" at the same time.
 

ConsciFashion

Member
Apr 14, 2020
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55
www.consciousfashion.in
I know this is a highly sensitive topic especially during a time like this. I want to share this experience with you all just to kind of vent and not to stir things up to affect this wonderful community we have here in tpf. Please be kind to one another. :heart:

So I was out in my front yard doing some gardening work when an 8-10 year old boy passed by with his family and commented “See! It’s Chinese again! This is the 5th house we’ve seen on this street!”. I didn’t look directly at them but was kind of waiting to see if the parents would say anything. Unfortunately, they didn’t say a word to the child.

I know it might be just an innocent comment but I felt extremely uncomfortable. Was it racist? I might be over sensitive right now and it’s the hormones talking (I’m currently pregnant), but this all happened in front of my 3 yo daughter. I can’t help but start feeling anxious about how she might be bullied when she starts school. How can I prep her to deal with racism or even just bullying in general? How should I introduce these topics to her?
That's very sad to hear. I feel your concerns are quite valid. Though most parents will probably teach their kids to not be racially insensitive there are unfortunately some households where such conversations don't or can't happen.

Perhaps it might make sense to have a conversation around them with your daughter's teacher once school opens and request them to keen an eye out for bullying behaviour. They may not be expressly aware of what you are experiencing. Also an open dialogue with your daughter to just keep a check on what's going on with her may help once she starts school again, just a feeler on how the other kids are acting toward her.

Don't worry too much though. I'm sure it's not a long-term shift.
 
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