Was I wrong?

  1. Ok, to make a long story short, my ex-boyfriend and I broke up about 6 months ago because he kept cheating on me (3 different girls during out 2 year courtship). We remained friends, although not very close. His little brother came up to visit him in SF a couple of days ago and they both came out to my place (in SC) to spend the day with me. His brother kept trying to talk him into going back to LA with him (where he is originally from). Ex-boyfriend says that if he goes to LA, then he's going to go to Vegas with some of his old buddies. Now, keep in mind that the reason we broke up is because he was always drinking way too much and going after girls, buying them drinks, kissing them, sometimes right in front of me. Since we're not dating anymore, I have no problem with him going to Vegas and doing whatever he wants. Only, there's a catch: he lost his job a couple months back and needs his unemployment check in order to have money for Vegas, and won't be able to cash it because he will be LA and leaves out for Vegas the same day his check is supposed to arrive in SF. So ex-boyfriend's brother wants me to drive from Santa Clara to SF to wait for the mail man to come, get the check, and deposit it into ex-boyfriend's bank account so he can play in Vegas. And I have to do it before 5pm so he can get the money in his account on time. I said no. And now ex-boyfriend's bro hates me and thinks I'm a bad person. And on a side note, ex-boyfriend never told his brother that we broke up, so his brother thinks I'm a bad girlfriend and was treating me very mean for the rest of the day.

    Was I wrong? Should I have agreed to pick up the check and deposit it for him so he can play in Vegas? I'm at the point where I don't even want to be friends with ex-boyfriend anymore because I put up with enough crap from him when we were dating and don't want to put up with it now that we're not dating.
  2. You are not his girlfriend / next of kin anymore so you could get into a lot of legal trouble for trying to cash his unemployment cheque.

    Other than that, I guess I don't really know you well enough to comment on your relationship... sorry and good luck with everything!!!
  3. erm NO you were not wrong or unreasonable!!

    it's not exactly a convenient favor to ask and you have the right to say no. i would have said no. ex bf wants the check, then HE can go to SF and deal with his unemployment check so he has funds.

    it's one thing if he needed the $$ for surgery but this is gambling for goodness sake!! talk about an addiction!

    you should have told the brother than you've broken up and if he has issues with your decision that's his problem to work out....

    i think eliminating both of them from your life might not be a bad idea!
  4. You need to drop both those toxic people from your life. He is a ex-let him go. With crap like that going around, you really don't need it. You owe him nothing...
  5. The only wrong I see is you even considering the fact that sticking up for yourself is wrong!

    Glad he's not your bf. But, he shouldn't be your friend. He uses people.
  6. Nope, you're not wrong for saying no. Good for you!!! I'm surprised that you didn't laugh in both of their faces. I'm curious about why he hasn't told him that you two are no longer together.
  7. No, you did the right thing.
  8. Uh no...you have no reason to do him any favor..you guys are nothing anymore...plus he cheated on you 3 times!! Also, its a big mistake remaining friends with ex boyfriends..it always is..trust me been there done that.
  9. He wanted you to drive an hour from Santa Clara to SF to get his check? What a moron. If he's unemployed, he has no business going to Vegas to gamble. Both he and his brother need to grow up. I'd never speak to either one of them again.

  10. I was going to say "Not just no, but hell no!", but lori said it much better. He lies, cheats, drinks too much, gambles, misleads his own brother, and they both expect you to do them favors???

    You do not need people like these two idiots in your life. I'm so glad you stuck up for yourself; don't let them put any guilt trip on you!
  11. ehm, being a friend means sticking up for each other. if he really was a friend he should have set his brother straight, simple as.

    I'd say - good riddance. there is much better out there.
  12. Hell to the no you are not wrong. You are not obligated to do anything for him. You are not together anymore. Maybe you should let the brother know what's really going on.
  13. I agree with what everyone's written. There is no way what you're doing is wrong. You're barely friends so you have absolutely no obligation to help them. Even if you were friends, or a couple, it's still asking a lot to drive up and wait for the mailman, etc. If he doesn't have money, he shouldn't be going to LV anyway.
  14. no you're not wrong at all! it's been said already by others here - I think it's an unreasonable request especially when he is using unemployment checks to gamble!!

    you did the right thing! :smile:
  15. Why are you even friends with this loser. Do NOT do it for him, stand your ground!