Very sad, goodbye Max, my sweet loyal friend. Gone but never forgotten.

**Chanel**

Trying to b good ^_^
O.G.
Jan 31, 2009
19,907
2,017
Escaping from Ban Island;-)
It happened one week ago, on Thursday, but I couldn't get myself to write about it sooner.
It's going to be a bit long, and I apologize in advance for that. I would like to tell you about one of my two dogs, Max.

I got Max from a shelter when he was 1,5 year old. He was my very first dog. Max was a mix French Bulldog/Boston Terrier and his previous owner dumped him and didn't want him back anymore. I never understood why as Max was such a sweetheart. He always made me smile. By his look, his manners, his funny noises and even his crazy farts. The farts which made me feel embarrased more than once when I had visitors and Max was at his best...visitors who looked at me and probably didn't know what to think when I said: 'It was the dog' :shame:..
We had so much fun together. My life had several ups and downs in the past 10 years, but Max was always there for me. Max had a passion for food, and once in a while I gave him a cheese slice which he really loved. Max also loved to walk. And petting of course...When someone started to pet him and stopped after a while, he would let you know by pushing your hand if he wanted more petting. And Max always wanted more. He was really one of a kind, a 'limited edition'.
2 years ago, Choco the chihuahua came into my life. Choco and Max became very good friends. You could obviously see that Max was the leader of the two, but Choco didn't mind and they had a lot of fun together. I always enjoyed it when I saw them so happy.

When I had Max for two months, I found out he had a serious problem with his neck (turned out he must have had it much longer before I even got him), it was so bad that he couldn't walk anymore. Several vets gave up on him, but I searched high and low until I found a specialist who wanted to help. He said it was going to be tough, 30% chance that Max would recover. But with surgery and therapy, Max did recover.
That was the first time I saved him. Then, several years later, he almost choked in a stupid bone. By handling very fast, we could save him once again. We were able to remove the part of the bone before he really choked. I never gave him such bone again.
But then, one week ago, on that Thursday...nothing could be done...

I never noticed anything, His eating and drinking was fine. He was active, happy, even on that sunny Thursday. He even had a quick check up at the vet a few weeks ago (no blood test was be done, the vet thought it wasn't necessary this time) and all was fine. Ok, his eyes weren't the best anymore, and he had some grey hairs, but at an age of almost 11 that is normal. I didn't notice any health problems. Or that he had pain or something.
But on that Thursday night, around 17:50 pm, all went terrible wrong. I suddenly heard a strange noise, so I had a look and saw the dogs were laying on their pillow. But then I saw Max had a strange look in his eyes and when I came closer, I noticed immediately something was wrong. His breathing was slower and while I tried to get him back on his feet, he collapsed. My first fear was that he was choking in the dog cookie I gave him just before. But the signals were different. The vet is only a 2 minute car drive away, so Max was brought to the vet immediately. But before even getting the car, Max stopped breathing on his pillow. My friend, who was with me, gave heart massage immediately while going to the vet but nothing. The vet tried everything, oxygen, heart massage but after 10/15 minutes my dear Max was pronounced dead. I was in shock and I still can't believe it. Gone, just like that...Horrible thing is, I dreamed about his death two days before it happened! I remember that dream because I woke up in the morning with teary eyes, very happy that it was only a dream...
In that dream, I was in space with Max, but suddenly we got separated. I was screaming and got back on earth, knewing Max was gone...Then I woke up. I must admit, sometimes it made me sad to see how Max was getting older and greyer. Knowing there would come a day that we had to say goodbye. Maybe the fear of losing him came back in my dream, I don't know. It's just so crazy that my dream became horrible reality two days later.

The first couple of days after his death, I felt very guilty. I wondered if I missed any signs. I couldn't stop thinking 'what if.....'. Felt guilty that I didn't insist on a blood test when he went for a quick check up even though the vet said that he didn't saw any reason for a blood test this time. He had blood test couple of months ago and that was all good. I was so confused. It still feels very weird. You know you have to say goodbye to your pet one day, but this was something I didn't expect. It all went so fast. The vet said she thought of heart failure or something in the head but she couldn't tell for sure without an autopsy. I didn't want they would cut him to pieces, so I didn't chose for an autopsy. The vet also said there was nothing I should feel guilty about (I told her that I felt so guilty that I couldn't save him this time) and even if there would have been 5 vets around at the time it happened, they probably couldn't save him anyway. Max got a beautiful ceremony and now he's back home in his urn. But I feel so empty inside. Can't sleep or eat well anymore. Can't laugh anymore. I've read that I have to do as normal as possible for the other dog, so I am trying. If I have to cry, I won't do it in front of Choco. But I feel so sad for Choco too. Max was the leader and now he's suddenly gone, I noticed that Choco is quite insecure without him. I give him extra attention, play games with him to distract him, and walk with him more often. Now Max is gone, he suddenly can't be alone anymore. So I have to work on that too.
Sometimes it looks to me like he is really feeling lonely which breaks my heart. He luckily still eats and drinks, but less than normal. I know all of this is normal, because he just lost his friend so he doesn't have a dog friend anymore, but it's hard to see him that way.
Anyone else here who had a similar experience, that one dog was left behind? What did you do?

Here are two pictures of dear Max. I have more pics but then I have to look in the map where are many pics of him and that's too much for me right now. Even those two pics make my eyes tear up again. I miss him so much :cry:. Goodbye my sweet loyal friend, thank you for everything. Gone, but never forgotten :crybaby:.
 

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moi et mes sacs

Science Geek!
O.G.
Sep 22, 2007
8,727
274
Your story brought tears to my eyes. You were the most perfect mommy, don't question yourself. Keep well and so sorry x
 

Cindi

My baby, Bellis
O.G.
Aug 8, 2006
9,872
159
54
PA USA
I'm so sorry for your loss. You were a wonderful mom to Max. He was very much loved and that's all that is important. ((((HUGS))))
 

BPC

Blue Jean Baby Queen prettiest Bal I've ever seen
Mar 31, 2012
3,746
1,704
Oh Chanel- I'm crying right now.

I am so very sorry for your loss. These little guys become part of our family, they're our fur kids. We do everything we can to keep them healthy and happy.

But then that dreaded day comes, the day we all have to say goodbye... I went through this once before and understand your pain completely. Especially since it was just so sudden.

Just know that eventually the pain lessens, and you'll be able to remember the time you had together and smile.
You gave him a wonderful life and that's all that matters.

<hugs>
 

sdkitty

O.G.
Jan 16, 2006
25,967
32,366
San Diego
So sorry for your loss. You were and are a very good doggie mommie. It seems like Max didn't suffer and you gave him a good life.
 

its_a_keeper

*loves Dior NP*
Jul 26, 2011
5,599
9
*home*
I loved reading of Max and his farts, our cat Ernie does that, too... a lot!

I am so sorry for your loss and I hope Choco will be better and feel securer soon.

We never had dogs but cats.
When one of our two died we gave two boys from the shelter a bew home so now we are living with three under our roof.
If Choco mourns too much and misses a buddy, go and search for one at your shelter again.
You wont find a second Max but for sure a new friend in need.
Take care
 

clevercat

catwoman
Sep 29, 2008
13,345
4,469
Where the heart is
Oh I am so sorry. You gave Max the best life you could and he loved you - I completely understand the guilt that follows such a sudden loss but please don't blame yourself. It was Max's time to leave - and it doesn't matter how long they're with us, it's never long enough. Play hard up at the Bridge, Max.
{{{hugs}}}
 

vinbenphon1

Member
May 2, 2013
9,349
9,386
Western Australia
So sorry to hear about Max. I hope that you can take comfort in the wonderful memories you have of Max and realise that he was loved very much by you and his family. :hugs:
 

Zoe C

Member
Nov 9, 2013
365
301
I sincerely hope you find comfort enough not to feel sad but fortunate to have the opportunity of rescuing max and share your life with him. It may take a long while... But it will eventually come.
Big big hug for you.
Sorry for your loss.
 

Denverite

Now in Seattle!
O.G.
Jul 1, 2009
2,544
1,201
Seattle
So sorry to hear about Max, your story made me cry. :cry: I lost my dog a few months ago, so I can relate to how you're feeling. I remember people telling me that the pain lessens and I honestly didn't believe them. Well, it's been 3 1/2 months and it really, truly does get easier. I still have moments that it hits me out of the blue and I completely lose it, but I'm not crying every single day like I was before. So hang in there! Eventually you will be able to smile at the memories instead of cry :smile:
 

Bananajam123

Member
May 30, 2014
97
41
UK
I am so sorry for your heartbreaking loss. He was a sweetheart and I hope you can take comfort in the very happy memories you had together. RIP dear Max