Urgh... need help deciding what to keep...

[Bags4Bubbles]

Help!! Opinions and thoughts would be gladly appreciated...

My background situation: I just moved to MI right before finding the tPF, I loved handbags before, but my purchases have definately increased since finding this place... 3 months later... I have a number of items that are NEW, never have been used and I am starting to wonder if they ever will be?? I love the idea of collecting, but now isn't the time and I know that. Since moving, I have yet to find a job - I need a PT one while I go to grad school, which starts in May, and I know I will end up with expenses from that as well...

My reserves are running low (I sold my business where we lived first and saved $$ from the job I had a few short months before moving finally to MI), and while I am not on "ban"... its not going to be feasible to keep purchasing at the rate I have been....

My dilemma: I've already listed a few used/pre-loved condition things on eBay... none seem to be grabbing much interest. I have a number of items that are new... should I return them for the $$ back or to fund new needs?? New, Unused items: Black silver clip carryall purchased in Nov. 2006 (I don't even know if I could return this since its been so long!), Pond shoulder bag ($398... I love it... but TL really got me thinking about my situation... Thank you TL...), Pond wristlet ($98 just sitting in the closet?)...

I really want the Nicola flats, and since I wear so much blue, I feel like I would get my money's worth out of them... (I tend to wear the same shoes everyday if I love them, and if they match of course.) I starting thinking this morning... I haven't used the Pond wristlet, even though its cute... I'm using the lilac sparkle stuff and don't see me switching anytime soon.. should I return the $98 wristlet to fund the $148 shoes that I could potentially be wearing everyday???

Oh this is so hard... why can't I just find a darn job?? I'm not in dire straights yet, as my poor DH is working his butt off(we moved because of his promotion)... but it seems like he has been picking up the slack for so long now.. I'm starting to feel really horrible...............

Don't get me wrong... I feel bad even writing this, because I know some people would be happy to have just one Coach bag, but I am just personally struggling with not having my own flow of "income" coming in, after I had it for so long... I feel like my funds are going away and I am just going to be sitting in the house all day long, cause I can't find a job and can't go out for fear of spending more money.... I'm sorry... Sorry this is long. So confused!! What should I do???

 

[LizCordova]

Bags4bubbles:

I am sorry that you have not found a job yet but I am sure that
you will find one soon. Just keep looking and the right one will turn up.

As for your new Coach Bags with tags and all - If you have not worn them
yet you are probably not going to wear them. You most likely purchased them on a whim so I say return them. I don' t necessarily think you should be purchasing anything else right now. If you don't have any cashflow you really should not be getting into debt over some shoe or handbag. Don't buy
anything until you find a job. I am sure you have enough handbags in your collection.

I have purchased four Coach Bags in the past 2 months, but I had not purchased a bag in four years (not because I couldn't afford it but because Coach was not making anything I liked at all). I have since found four bags
so I am making up for lost time, but I don't buy things I cannot afford. I don't like being in debt and the only real debt I have is my mortgage.

Good Luck!

 

[Bags4Bubbles]

Thanks Liz... It kind of hit me that maybe I shouldn't be blowing all of my money.. I don't know how long this no job this is going to be... I kind of panicked when I realized that if I spend all of my money on things that could actually wait, I won't have it for the unknown future... Case in point, I have no ideas how much books will be...

It definately is a struggle... I feel like I've gotten so caught up in the excitement and fun of ordering new things, that I am losing sight of other goals I have/could have... Unfornuately, its really all I have going on right now...

Argh... why do we get attached to things that haven't even been used?

 

[tlloveshim]

^^ Yeah, I agree that if they have tags and you haven't worn them yet you probably aren't going to. I loved getting my pond bag out and looking at it and playing with it but then once I got over the initial shock of sending it back I realized that I wasn't even using it. I was scared to actually take it out and I was using the excuse that it was for summer. The truth was that it was something that I loved because it was so pretty but it wasn't something that I was going to use because I was afraid of using it. There's a part of me that wants it back but a bigger part of me that feels relief knowing that I can let go of material things if and when called upon. It's only a bag and Coach will be making great bags for years to come! A portion of my returns is going to help out financially and the rest is going back into my purse fund to help me get an Ergo if I decide I really want it. I have several great bags though that I love and do use so am content with them! Good luck with your decision! We're here to support you!

 

[Bags4Bubbles]

TL.. honestly, really- thank you for posting the other day... It really got me thinking...

I went to my closet and went "What am I doing???" Now, I have to figure out what goes and what stays... I'm already on "ban" from balenciaga and had made a decision in my mind to only get Coach accesories for the Spring... but right now in my life, I don't need multiple bags hanging out in my closet with tags...

I'm thinking of posting pics of all of the bags, to get people's opinions of what to put on eBay and what to return... Some of the bags I am not using, but don't want to part with because I know I won't get much for them. Sigh, ridiculous - I know, but I am struggling here.

 

[tlloveshim]

Really, don't feel ridiculous! I totally understand! Which exactly why I posted here the other night when I was struggling! Imagine how silly I felt when I actually wanted to cry because I was sending my bag back! But it's not the bag so much that you're struggling with, it's what it represents to you. At least it was for me. But I'm still the same person today without that bag as I was yesterday with the bag! Ask yourself what those bags represent to you. A way of life, affordable luxury, success, a tie to this group of women here? Whatever it might be, you'll still have it w/o those bags! I kept bags that 1) I couldn't sell for enough $$, 2) were sentimental to me and 3) that I used on a regular basis and were practical. Example: my suede beaded tote is not all that practical but my dh got it for me and loves that bag so I can't part with it for that reason. My punch demi I could live without because I kept my carly demi in black leather since it is way more practical for me. I know you'll do the right thing once you sort it all out in your head!

 

[Bags4Bubbles]

Thank you for the responses... I'm glad no one is throwing stones - yet.

Back from taking pictures to help decide (and possibly get some input?)... and I seriously was physically ill after I pulled everything of the closet - at first. Then, after taking some pictures, I starting going, "Well... maybe its not that many?"... Now I am just still confused, but still know something must be done - I know there is a logical reason I am unsettled.

Now I feel like I have to decide how to pare down my collection to a usable, useful bunch, with the least amount of remorse as possible... Sounds fun, huh?

Picture 1 - This is where I started panicking... but then, as I worked with the angle I started looking... and there's not too much there, I mean... kind of. These bags are all in loved condition, so any of these to go would have to be sold. If you had to pick one bag to get rid of out of this group, which one would it be? I have started leaning towards the spearmint MJ bag on the far right end. The Coach bags are all towards the middle. (Balenciaga bags & non "designer" bags were not included in picture, as they aren't a factor in this.)

Picture 2 - These items have been voted off the island, and will only keep them if they don't sell.

Picture 3 - :shame: Okay... here is where it starts to get just a smidge ugly. The "new, with tags" area... Feeling ill again. If you had to pick AT LEAST one item out of these to return, which would it be?

Picture 4 - Accesories, new & loved. Took this picture to show the tan MJ zip clutch currently being used, along with the sparkle lilac accessories. The tan pebbled wristlet holds my checkbook, which the pond was supposed to replace... but a checkbook doesn't fit in there. The cosmetic case never gets used... but I don't think its worth the time/money to try to sell it... Charms will be used in good time. Pink wristlet is my theme park wristlet... So... I'm starting to answer my own question of who gets voted off the island in this picture...

Honestly, I think this post & pictures are alot more for me to be able to work this out outloud/with visual help - but any thoughts are definately appreciated... Do you know what I think part of the problem is... I came to this conclusion after yet another insightful thought from TL... A number of these bags were purchased for "work".... work I've yet to find... I don't need two bags from the black signature clip line, the hobo my DH got me, so even though its too small, I would feel bad parting with it... and the black carryall - I purchased that RIGHT after moving here... It was my new "work" bag... that has sat in the closet for 3 months now... I thought about it.. and returning that bag almost makes me feel... like I've failed, or haven't accomplished what I set out to do - even though my goals have changed slightly since landing here... *sigh* This is tough.

 

[tlloveshim]

My thoughts: pic 1: my eye gravitates to the braided satchel and the red bag sitting behind it. I'd keep those personally.
pic 2: good choices, I think you'll have no problem selling them
pic 3: the black tote is the only one I'd keep. the rest are pretty but are not necessary for now. the black tote can be used for work and interviews.
pic 4: I think you already know what to do with this bunch! Love the lilac accessories and the love charm!

I think you have it under control anyway! This is how I shorten my wish list too! I usually want a ton of stuff so I save all the pics on my computer in a file then sort through them. When I'm done I usually have 1/4 of what I originally thought I NEEDED! LOL!

 

[aarti]

I can sympathize, its a new limit you aren't use to, and hopefully won't have to be long! I'd return everything you can, and then from there get the shoes, and when you sell the stuff you have on ebay, you can "pay yourself back" and use that as the funding for your shoes.

 

[aarti]

PIC 1- I'd keep the multipocket for its black and functional, the braided mia satchel for its color and variety and could be used hand and shoulder, and the purple tote. Then I'd sell the rest of the bags for more play money.

I know its hard at first to part with them, but its actually really empowering, especially when you think of what you can get next.

PIC 2- I agree.

PIC 3- I'd get rid of the rest of the bags (sorry but tough love). I am partial to the MJ and pond shoulder BUT the MJ though isn't a necessity though as is the pond shoulder. I saw your signature though, if you have the first and city, you don't need the MJ or COACH either, so scrap them both if you can.

PIC 4- ACCESSORIES! Keep the blue ZC because it matches your other belongings IF you keep the MJ and pond, otherwise get a zip clutch in a more duable color that matches everything else. And the metallic skinny and small wristlet for fun if you like it keep it IF you will use it regularly. It sounds like you dont need the pond wristlet so then return it. I see you have one cosmetic case, so if you don't use yoru wristlets for cosmetic reasons, keep the pink perforated case. Maybe keep a charm if it makes you happy. the zodiac one perhaps.

Maybe it would be wise to keep the black carryall since it is very versitile, but if your everyday life and future job doesn't call for one, then return it as well.

 

[Bags4Bubbles]

Whew... thank for the opinions ladies!! All input appreciated... I'm starting to form a plan. I think the pond wristlet is definately getting returned... a long with at least 2 bags... to be decided which two. (I know... I know... they all need to go... give me time.) Also... I have a pond/silver bracelet on the way here (darn thing still hasn't arrived)... so I'm am HOPING I don't love it - so I can return the bracelet & the wristlet to get the Nichola shoes... Which are a more practical item. (I can wear them to school or dress them up/down.)

Have a question... Does anyone know what happens if you buy something on a credit card, but then you pay the credit card off - then want to return the item?? Can they just refund me the money or does it go as a "credit" on your card?.... I mean.. either way I guess it could be used for school expenses and whatever else comes up, but I've never had do anything like this before? Except for the NM MJ bag... which is probably going to be a problem.

 

[aarti]

^^LOL! I just edited my post over and over again after your post, but now I'm sticking to my guns!

You said you already had lilac signature wristlets? Then if you won't use the metallic, scrap that as well.

 

[aarti]

It should go back onto your CC?

 

[upswife]

Have a question... Does anyone know what happens if you buy something on a credit card, but then you pay the credit card off - then want to return the item?? Can they just refund me the money or does it go as a "credit" on your card?.... I mean.. either way I guess it could be used for school expenses and whatever else comes up, but I've never had do anything like this before? Except for the NM MJ bag... which is probably going to be a problem.

You get a credit on your credit card. You can request that they send you check, or you just use the card to use up the credit!

 

[Bags4Bubbles]

Great suggestions on pic 1!! Its hard to look at these bags for their practicality, since I attach certain things with each of them...

The black MP is useful, and I agree with the keeping the Mia & red tote choice. (My work bags from my previous position in IL.) As a side note, the red tote is from Aldo & was purchased for $40!! LOL... still love it... The black Kate Spade is older and wouldn't bring much... so might as well hang on to it. Along with the giant Burberry thing in the back... it won't bring much and would be useful as an additional plane bag. (Don't care if it gets wrecked...)

Ugh... the black clip hobo... folks, please keep telling me to get rid of it... I can't accept it yet. Its so hard... my DH "got" it for me for a gift, and I wanted it forever... but its just so much smaller than anticipated.... I have so many other black bags... :s

Sigh... tough love, that's what I need here... Thanks for the input... Still deliberating...