Upsetting news

  1. Sign up to become a TPF member, and most of the ads you see will disappear. It's free and quick to sign up, so join the discussion right now!
    Dismiss Notice
Our PurseForum community is made possible by displaying online advertisements to our visitors.
Please consider supporting us by disabling your ad blocker. Thank you!
  1. My husband works for Wyeth and recently they were bought out by Phizer, which is known for their huge layoffs. He's not sure what his job situation is going to be in a few months, so he's been looking into doing a med tech program starting in June. If he's not laid off by then, he may quit his job to go back to school. In this scenario, this will push our plans to have a baby back until December at the earliest since we would have to wait for my insurance enrollment period at work :crybaby: I haven't been this upset and disappointed in so long since I've been looking forward to TTC for two months now. I tried to be supportive, he's not happy with this job and should pursue something else that would be more secure, keep us in this area, and be more fulfilling. But at the same time, it just broke my heart saying it out loud.

    I know it's not like we'll never have kids, and maybe things will change. But I don't know...do I stop taking pre-natals and basically preparing for something that has been put on hold indefinitely? I hate living in such a state of limbo. Thanks for letting me vent.
     
  2. I'm sorry that the future of your husband's job is uncertain. :hugs:

    I don't know anything about your husband's job, but does he have seniority? Is he in a higher position, like management? Maybe he won't be laid off. Then again, I really don't know anything about the pharmaceutical industry, but you can always hope that he won't be laid off. (Of course, it's a good idea to have a back-up plan, and that's great that your hubby is already looking into schools.) Try to not worry about him losing his job until he actually has. :heart:

    As for the insurance, are you absolutely sure that you have to wait until December? Maybe your insurance is like Baby Boo's, where it doesn't cover very much anyway? (You can see her "This is it--TTC" thread.) I'm not really sure on how your insurance works, but if you became pregnant before December, could you cover the out-of-pocket expenses until December? If your finances could handle it, then perhaps you could start trying in September or October. (Or perhaps look into some kind of temporary insurance plan?) I wish I could offer more advice. Taiwan has a citizen insurance plan, so I've never had to worry about it.

    If you find that you really need to wait until December, you shouldn't stop taking prenatals or preparing your body for pregnancy. It's frustrating that you have to wait longer, but the wait will be worth it. And it's "only" ten more months. Over the course of your entire life, ten months is just a blip on the radar. Ten months will go by fast!
     
  3. Wow littlepanda, you took the words right out of my mouth. It's upsetting news for sure hamstahon but it's not indefinite. Putting things on hold doesn't mean it'll never happen but I know how frustrating it is to look forward to something and then be told you can't have it. For now, anyway. I wouldn't suggest you stop taking pre-natals or preparing your body for pregnancy. You'll be TTC later this year and the way time is flying that will be here sooner than you know it. I'm not able to TTC until July so I understand being anxious to get going, but it'll happen when the time is right. Good luck with everything and please keep up posted.
     
  4. Thank you for your kind words and support, littlepanda and imashopaholic. Right now he's in a position which was recently created. They told him he was to start up a new bio lab, but now they have him testing this one machine. He only started this past July. This project wasn't going so well anyway, so he thought they were going to fire him sooner.

    The insurance at my company is not as good as his, but still pretty decent. I couldn't think of paying out of pocket for all the expenses though. At this point, if he's set on going back to school, I'm hoping they do lay him off before June because then I could sign up with my insurance under a "major life change" and we could use my earnings plus his layoff package to live on for a while. I make maybe a third of what he does, so we'd have to cut way back. He was very sweet about the whole baby thing. He said, maybe if we time it right, you could be pregnant in December and maybe I'll get a part time job:heart:

    I know it's not too long to wait, I did want a baby in 2010 to begin with. Maybe it's all the hormones from being off BC, but I was just so down yesterday. I had been hoping and anticipating for this for a long time now. I'll keep everyone updated on what we end up deciding. Thanks again :smile:
     
  5. hamstahon- I'm so sorry to hear that.. I know I won't be the best person to give you advice but I do think you did make out a good plan.. at least you're on the plan... I know exactly how it feels about husband's job insecurity! My company just fired a few people today.. it just worries me a lot especially to those who will like to start a family. But I do know, things will definitely work out fine for you. Good luck with everything :smile:
     
  6. hamstahon,

    Don't worry too much about you DH's job. Mine works in R&D too. His company recently went through layoffs. Usually where they start is management/HR/Administrative jobs then they will offer severance packages to senior staff in an attmpt to have them retire early.

    Rarely do they go after the lab guys....unless there is no other work available. Instead they will place him in another lab.

    Also, if he is in the pharm industry, all you have to do is go on Monster and see how many jobs are still out there in the pharm industry...even if they are temp contract jobs, they are out there...plus there are specific job/temp companies that work with the science fields in job placement
    He would not have any problem finding something else if the need came.

    I am not telling you not to put your plans off or not...but I will say please try to remain calm if you are TTC....

    All good things happen for a reason and if one door closes, another one opens :smile:.
     
  7. Thanks so much BearyT and Quinn's Mom...reading that is very comforting. He's such a smart guy and an asset anywhere he works, so I'm positive he wouldn't be out of work for long. It's just that, he's run out of pharm companies in this area, so if he did find another job, we'd have to relocate and I'd rather stay in the area for the normal stuff, i.e. family, awesome schools, etc.

    Turns out he had been doing some thinking about the situation and realized that, sure he didn't exactly love what he's doing, but he just couldn't walk away from such a good paying job...especially in this economy. Add to that the $13,000 tuition for a med tech certification, he didn't want to carry another student loan debt. So I guess that plan has been put on hold for now, we'll just see if he ends up getting laid off.

    I'm a firm believer that everything happens for a reason. We'll take whatever happens and power through it, just like any other family would. It's important to us that we bring a child into the best possible conditions. If there are going to be challenges, which is inevitable, we'll just have to take it one step at a time. And hopefully, things will turn out great!
     
  8. im so sorry to hear about this hun!

    like little panda said though checkw ith your insurer.. as i waited and it was for nothing.. well not nothing but nothing worth it if that makes sense :smile:
     
  9. Chances are if your DH is laid off that would definitely be considered a qualified life event where you could obtain coverage through your own employer for both you and your DH. It doesn't have to be done during your enrollment period, I believe you are eligible to sign up w/in 30 days of the life event date.

    I wouldn't be too worried at this point, but just make sure DH's resume is dusted off and updated, so if it does happen, he can apply for new jobs right away. Good luck!
     
  10. Me, too...I totally believe that! I just want to wish you guys well in whatever you finally decide to do :yes:

    I would definitely continue to take the pre-natal vitamins - there is no harm in taking them months in advance of TTC...I actually started to take them 4 months (may have been 5 months) before we TTC the first time.
     
  11. Baby Boo, imasadgiraffe, and Lilwalnut, thanks for your kind words and support! I'm feeling a lot better about the situation. DH and I hung out tonight watching the SuperBowl and I couldn't help but to think that it was so nice and maybe next year it wouldn't be just the two of us anymore. I have been so caught up in baby stuff the past couple of months that I almost didn't see our needs as a couple. AF is supposed to come this week. Now that DH is pretty sure he won't quit, we'll revisit the subject of TTC. But now I don't mind waiting (just a little bit) so much anymore :smile:
     
  12. Glad to hear things are a bit better for you hamstahon. What's meant to be will be, don't worry. :hugs:
     
  13. It's always nice to appreciate our DH's...after all, without them there would be no babydancing! This is what I think about when I get antsy about waiting to try to have a little one - I need to cherish every minute with my DH because it really IS awesome to have love in your life. :heart:
     
  14. #14 Feb 19, 2009
    Last edited: Feb 19, 2009
    hamstahon,

    ImASadGiraffe is correct. If your husband were to leave his job that would be considered a qualifying life event. If/When your husband leaves they would provide him with a certificate of creditable coverage which you can show to your employer demonstrating that your coverage has been terminated. You would be able to enroll in the plan and add your husband. Hope this helps, HR is my field.
     
  15. Thanks Dancer! DH and I have actually started TTC, even though he's still super stressed about his job. He had a big meeting with the bosses today, so hopefully went well. I guess I'll find out tonight!