Unappreciated comments from strangers.

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  1. Yesterday, a friend and I were shopping at a nice, upscale boutique, being helped by a SA. He was quite genial and chatty, which normally, I enjoy in a SA, and was helping me find a leather jacket with the proper dimensions.

    He then proceeded to gush over how tiny we were, repeating that over and over while I was trying on some jackets. As I pulled out a jacket for my friend to try, he looks at her and goes, "Girl, you are just so tiny, you really should eat a cookie or something."

    Immediately, I was put off by his comment, and really, to being a patron at the store in general, because both of us found his comment to be extremely rude and uncalled for.

    What if my friend was so small because of a health problem, an eating disorder, etc? How can he be so certain that she was that size because she wanted to be? Would he have made the same type of comment, but in reverse, to someone who was overweight? Most likely not, because it is not socially acceptable. Why is ok then, to comment on the size of someone is who is clearly underweight? My friend has suffered from colitis her whole life, and has struggled to put on weight and is in fact, quite sensitive and uncomfortable about how thin she is (she's about 5'5 and a size 00, to give you an idea).

    It made us so mad to hear that comment that I thanked him for his help and promptly left the store. I was left wondering if I should have said something to him about his comment, perhaps because he didn't know that it was not acceptable say things like that about someone's weight, even if they are thin.

    Has anyone else experienced that? Seemingly innocuous remarks from people who don't think twice about saying things, because clearly, you must be happy to be extremely thin and therefore would appreciate comments drawing attention to that fact?
     
  2. You know some people just don't think when they speak. I would of just let it go. But again I have a thick skin and what people say doesn't really bother me.
     
  3. (I actually have heard comments about how big I am from SAs - many times I've just been straight up told - completely unsolicited "we don't have your size, you should go to (some other store) instead" - what if I'm not shopping for myself or am shopping for accessories?)

    I would complain, honestly. It's SO RUDE to make that remark and it's so twisted that he probably thought it was a compliment.
     
  4. ita.
     
  5. Yeah, I wouldn't worry about it at all! People never think before they speak. And also do you think they were saying it in a jokingly way? I mean if it was a male, you know how men are! But a female...maybe she was jealous?
     
  6. That comment he made was insensitive. A lot of people do not think before words fly out of their mouth. Anyway, you don't have to deal with him again. I'd let it go.
     
  7. Wow that is amazing. Most people think if they are making a comment about how "tiny" you are - it's always going to be a compliment. Ignorant I suppose.

    And Nooch - I am appalled anyone would ever say anything like that. People are so incredibly rude.
     
  8. i just think that SA was clueless. he was trying to make small talk...
     
  9. I have never understood why 'society' seems to think it's perfectly ok, socially acceptable and a compliment even, to make snarky remarks about a person's weight so long as the person in question is small. It's just rude and tacky. I agree with nooch, I'd complain about it to the manager.
     
  10. Dont kill me, but I honestly think it was just an innocent harmless comment. It was probably unnecessary but I dont think he meant any harm with it. I've had SA's tell me straight up "NO" when I ask if I can see something behind the counter...and then they say "girl of course you can!". People have different personalities and have different ways of expressing their thoughts...sometimes its not always in line with how you think.
    Let it go and learn to not let comments like that bother you.
     
  11. He probably didn't mean any harm, but what he said still hurt your friend. If something similar happens again I would think it's a good idea to say something to explain that it's not okey to say such things, cause not everyone is flattered by such a remark and it's important that people think about that too.
     
  12. I agree. It's rude to comment on anyone's body habitus. Working with a bunch of older, know-it-all, paternalistic male physicians has given me my share of unwanted and generally callous comments about my weight loss. It irritates the **** out of me. It really couldn't be any less appropriate. Depending on my mood, I'll give some answer about my illness stabilizing or something. It usually embarrasses them into silence.
     
  13. ITA, sorry...but to me this falls under fake drama...really, if this is the thing that caused you worry today, consider your self lucky.
     
  14. I agree with tink, particularly given the month I have had.

    The next time something like this happens, perhaps take that person aside and kindly explain why it can be hurtful to comment on a thin person's size just as it can be to comment on a larger person's size. I'm sure he didn't mean anything negative by it.
     
  15. I don't think the SA meant any harm, but I do understand that little comments like that can be annoying. When I was *ahem* thinner, people would think it was okay to comment on what kind of food I ordered. For instance, I went to a Subway and I asked for light mayo, and the girl told me "you're so skinny, you can eat full fat mayo." Add up many of those types of comments, it can get frustrating to always defend your choice in food. But overall you shouldn't sweat it, because I think those people are usually trying to be kind.