Ugh, what an awful husband..
- Thread starter merika
- Start date
I've known my friend for a long time. She married her husband against her family's wishes, and they basically cut her off for a long time after that. She was very close to her family. So for a long while her 'only' source of emotional support was her husband and he is pretty controlling. She has very few friends of her own, they are now living in a place very isolated from her community.
Merika, if you can get your friend to go with you for an exam, do it. If it's anything that can be corrected or it's more serious - waiting is not good. If she drives and cannot see optimally, she is putting others at risk as well as herself. She needs your support to know that you don't fool around with eye problems.
Maybe there is a cultural reason she puts up with a controlling husband, aside from the fact that it is an emotionally abusive relationship (not letting her get proper treatment to me is abusive) and also that she has no familial support. Just my opinion from personal experience. Unfortunately, it is not unusual for women in my culture to put up with abusive and controlling husbands/boyfriends.
She is lucky to have a friend like you, Merika. I do hope she can get the help she needs.
She is lucky to have a friend like you, Merika. I do hope she can get the help she needs.
You know what? My father told me that years ago: people can only do to you what you let them.
I was raised by my mother and from a young age decided that I would NEVER depend on a man for ANYTHING. I saw my mother workin' her butt off so that she could get us a nice home, feed and clothe us... She handled her business and set a good example for me. Now that I have a daughter, I'll be damned if she allows herself to be at the mercy of anyone. Circumstances are different for my daughter. Her father and I are married. But the lesson will be the same. Be independent and able to stand on your own.
I'm concerned about your friend. But, how did she allow herself to get into this quagmire? With all the women out there workin' and takin' care of themselves AND their kid(s)...
Your friend needs to get help now. For her marriage but first for her health! Why doesn't she keep at least part of her paycheck? I don't understand this!
Does she want to leave her husband? Is she afraid of losing her kid or not wanting to be a "failure" in her family's eyes since they opposed the marriage in the first place? I'm sure your friend's situation is more complicated than any of us could pretend to know here. I'd just continue what you're doing: offer support and help if she wants to take it.
God this story gets worse I am so sorry for her. Please try to talk to her. Firstly get her to a doctor by hook or by crook then try to make her see the awful situation that she is in. I know this is very difficult as sometimes the messenger does get shot but if she is as miserable as I think she must be she is maybe just waiting for a chance to spill all.
Agreed. By taking her paycheck, he is ensuring that she entirely at his mercy. Instead of handing over her check, she needs to hand him divorce papers.