To the ladies that are married or living with a bf: how to arrange finances?

IntlSet

IntlSet

Bonjour!
Jan 29, 2006
12,369
63
#1
Sorry, I hope this doesn't seem excessively nosy. I'm just curious about these things, and was inspired by Swanky's thread.

Do you guys just pool your income? Do you keep seperate accounts?

When my then-boyfriend and I talked about moving in together after graduation, he suggested we pool out finances and that be that. He would be making about 5 times more than I would (Stanford degree, finance career versus UC degree, liberal arts!), though!

Does it all work out? Do you fight about money? (#1 reason for divorce)

Thanks for your opinions, girls! Always nice to see how other people do things.
 
#2
I live with my fiance and he takes care of everything but he knows that whatever is needed I'm there. He is hispanic like me and usually men with "mexican morals" feel that they should pay for everything. We talked about having his name on my bank account but he doesn't want to. He thinks I should enjoy the money I work for and that is what I do of course I save most of it. I on the other hand am in every account he owns although I never use it he wants to know that I'm never in need.
 
#3
When my bf and I moved in together, we kept separate accounts for years. That was Ok then, we both felt independant and that was fine. When we bought our house and got kids, things changed. There was no longer a point in separating income, as I stayed at home when the kids were small. We pooled income then, and have done so ever since. For us, having kids meant becoming a family and sharing both responsabilities and income. Traditional, yes, but that works for us and we feel like a team that way.
 
#4
My husband and I have a joint savings and separate checking. It would be such a pain to have to report every $ I spend to him (same goes for him). We have our budget, put a dedicated amount into joint savings, and give ourselves allowances. It's not that hard. He pays the mortgage and a few other bills, and I pay most of the smaller ones (utils, food etc.). You can work it out if one spouse makes a lot more. We have never fought about money. Hard to believe but it's true. We stick to the plan. Keep in mind we lived together a few months before we were married, so we didn't change much. I also feel I have freedom, as I can use my extra $ for whatever I want. We also have an agreed amount to save in our 401Ks. I really do feels this works, esp if you both work.
 
#5
We pool all paychecks and I keep the checkbook! My husband has a credit card if he needs to buy something. And he's in charge of investing his annual bonus.

It probably sounds more fun than it is, because I'm the one responsible for making sure all of the bills get paid and doing all of the shopping. I generally don't spend more than $500 or so without mentioning it to him first, or telling him about it while an item is still returnable. I can't think of a time when we ever disagreed about money.
 
#6
Separate! My husband and I have been married for 10 years and have always kept our money separate. We both contribute to a joint retirement account, but that's it! Like Angelica said, you don't want to have to report every dollar you spend to your husband!
 
#7
We pooled from the first day we moved in together that was about 6 weeks later. He made and make much more money than I do but we never had a fight over money. We both have credit cards to our account and if I or he want to buy something we do. my salary goes into the same account as his. If I plan to purchse something over 500$ I talk about with him not for asking allowance just to check if it would be okay to do it this month. I actually don't know the figures on our account. He does all the online banking stuf because I'm to lazy I just pic up the recipts onece in a while. I actually use much more money than he does but I loves to spoil me so there we never had a problem. We both are very generous and therfor it works out. I can't see myself living with somebody where you split every $. That wouldn't be me. I don't even do it with my friends. Just my personal view.
 
#12
One cheque book account each and several credit cards each. One tax free savings account each and a savings account for our son.

I have control over all the finances though cos my OH is useless with money. If i want something, i get it, if he wants something, he has to check that there is enough cos he has no clue.:blink:

He's fine with me dealing with the money, sorting the bills and the monthly spending budget because before i gave up work to look after our son, it was always His versus Mine and he was always in trouble!

Prefer it pooled to be honest - we're a team and that's how it should be, especially when you have kids!

But when i return to work sometime next year (hopefully) then it will be back to Mine versus Mine lol:lol:

I'm always fair though - he got a laptop, i got a Rosemary:biggrin: and a Radley...and a Phoebe...and...:lol:
 
#13
My boyfriend and I keep separate accounts. We split rent, utilities, and food. He makes more than I do, and I just don't feel that it would be fair for him to pay for more. I'm rather independent, and like to earn my way.
 
#14
We've pooled our money since day one (when we were 18).
We have separate credit cards, and we do not itemize each and every purchase, but the cards are paid from the joint account.
Most divorces are due to money woes/issues, it's not healthy to micromanage, but it's good to be on the same page, and have some transparency about expenses.
 
#15
We keep our checking and credit card accounts separate. We split all of the bills in half, he writes me a check at the beginning of the month for his half, and I pay them, since I'm the one who remembers when they're due :P When (and if!) we get married, we've talked about keeping our separate checking accounts, but having a joint account for these types of expenses.
 
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