Tips on How to Bring up an Upgrade to Hubby?

N

NY Village Girl

Member
Apr 21, 2009
268
3
#1
Hi Ladies,

With my upcoming 5 yr wedding anniversary and Baby #2 on the way, I would like to upgrade my engagement ring. My DH recently asked me what I would want as a push present, and aside from the obvious (a healthy baby), I told him I'd get back to him on a jewelry selection. Does anyone have any tips or suggestions for a tactful way to bring it up without insulting or offending him? (I once brought it up right before our 1 yr wedding anniversary and it ended badly - I think he was a little insulted by the idea. Perhaps it was just too soon after the engagement/wedding in his mind. So, this is why I am a little nervous about bringing it up again).

TIA for any suggestions!
 
#2
Tell him you'd like to upgrade as your push present. That your marriage and finances are stronger and you'd like to look at that. Don't expect a raving yes if he wasn't receptive before. If he is sentimental it may never happen.
 
#3
I may be way off track, but you could suggest a RHR....and as an alternative, which maybe more economical, an upgrade.
If his resistance is sentimental, maybe another ring is a better option?
I see that some spouses are very tied to the original ring. For some reason that always catches me off guard.
 
#4
Oh wow honey, look at that (insert what you'd like here) diamond ring! I wish I could have something like that! I'd feel like such a princess! And by the way it would probably cost about xx dollars to get it, isn't that about the push present budget? :graucho:
Maybe he'll take the hint. :yes:
 
#5
Let him know that you would like a bigger diamond ring. Show him the diamond you like, it's cost and ask him if you can have that, or alternatively, upgrade your stone to a bigger stone so you guys don't have to pay too much. Tell him you would like to keep the original setting, that may calm him down a bit. Good luck on the negotiation and on the baby.
 
#7
MatAllston said:
Let him know that you would like a bigger diamond ring. Show him the diamond you like, it's cost and ask him if you can have that, or alternatively, upgrade your stone to a bigger stone so you guys don't have to pay too much. Tell him you would like to keep the original setting, that may calm him down a bit. Good luck on the negotiation and on the baby.
Click to expand...

I think that's a right way to go.
 
#8
Thanks for the suggestions, keep them coming! I think the main objection would be the cost. While we can definitely afford the ring I have my heart set on, my husband is not going to like the price tag (and neither do I). If only he could just turn a blind eye to the credit card/bank statement this month and just give me carte blanche, lol.

Ame: Yes, when you say it so-matter-of-factly, it seems so easy, lol. I think I will try to keep it short and sweet

Harpertoo: thanks for the suggestion. We are not sentimental about "things" (only thing we are both sentimental about is friends, family and memories as these are irreplaceable). We are very practical and prefer to have things that we use and enjoy rather than hold onto things that we don't need or use (and the ring wasn't a family heirloom or anything). I think it was just the fact that it was too soon after we got married.

Etk: lol, yes, I will try to weave in something like this into the discussion

MatAlston: good idea, I will mention the possibility of keeping the original band and just replacing the stone.

Blossy: I don't think he is sentimental about the ring itself, I think he just thought it was too soon after the wedding for me to be talking about an upgrade, as I think he thought my original engagement ring was still pretty pricey in the grand scheme of things.

Would love any other suggestions as well. Thanks again!
 
#9
Hi Ladies,
Just wanted to give an update: So, by some miracle, my DH finally agreed to the upgrade! I couldn't believe it. I'm so excited. He actually said no twice (as of last night his response was actually "f*** no") so I thought it was a no-go for sure, but when he came home from work, he asked how much the ring would cost and told me I could do it as long as he can buy a cabin in the woods someday to go fishing with our kids. Gotta love him. He's a true Minnesotan. So, it was pretty much a no-brainer for me. I get my ring and he will get his cabin someday. Haha.

Thank you ladies for the suggestions. I could definitely use some help picking out the new stone, once my SA emails me the selection.

Woohoo!
 
#11
MatAllston said:
Yay!!! Do, tell us more about the upgrade that you have in mind.
Click to expand...

I currently have the classic round Tiffany & Co solitaire G VS1 1.25 ct, and will be upgrading to the same style 2.0 ct (my dream ct size). I am so excited. In order to stay within a budget that I feel is reasonable, I plan on going down to I color and VS2 clarity. Initially, I was planning on going with H VS2 thinking that an I colored stone would be too warm, but I actually found the I's to be just as stunning and surprisingly bright white and sparkly as the H's (I think because of the excellent cut of the stones).
 
#14
NY Village Girl said:
I currently have the classic round Tiffany & Co solitaire G VS1 1.25 ct, and will be upgrading to the same style 2.0 ct (my dream ct size). I am so excited. In order to stay within a budget that I feel is reasonable, I plan on going down to I color and VS2 clarity. Initially, I was planning on going with H VS2 thinking that an I colored stone would be too warm, but I actually found the I's to be just as stunning and surprisingly bright white and sparkly as the H's (I think because of the excellent cut of the stones).
Click to expand...

How exciting! Mine is a Tiffany solitaire I color and it's not yellow at all. It sparkles like crazy. Looking forward to seeing your new upgrade!
 
#15
A well cut I is going to be quite white, and I think unless you have them side by side you won't see the difference.

I look forward to seeing what your SA offers!!! Woohoo!
 
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