They’ve got to be kidding

Wow...I can't even...Do they come pre-caked with legit mud/dirt/poo or is that just fake *scoffs* dirt?
I guess this must mean I am trendy as hell, since the only sneakers I now own (I am a heels & wedges lover) are Adidas Samba's that I got when I was 10...And I'll be 40 this year. (They're so old & stretched out they still fit.)
*But* they are solely for all of my less glamorous chores, like car washing, taking the dog out or cleaning the basement. And they're not worth $1850!