I'm watching it right now (God bless HBO On Demand!) I liked the movie, but I found the book to be really boring. (And is it wrong that I found the Stepford Wives' clothes adorable? Obviously not to wear all the time, though . . . . ) I couldn't resists, but I HAD to post some of my favorite quotes! Stepford Wife: I'm going to use a pinecone as the baby Jesus this year. Bobbi Markowitz: And I'm going to attach a pinecone to my vibrator and have a really merry Christmas! 'Balance of Power' Host: Who makes more money? Tara: [buzzes] I do! 'Balance of Power' Host: Who enters Iron Man triathalons every year and wins? Tara: [buzzes] I do! 'Balance of Power' Host: Who secretly wishes they were married to a hot sexy lesbian? Tara, Bob: [both buzz at once] I do! Claire Wellington: Today, we are going to discuss - well, it is probably the most important book any of us will ever read. Yes, it is provocative, but it is also inspiring: The Heritage Hills Special Edition Golden Deluxe Treasury of Christmas Keepsakes and Collectibles! [wives and Roger squeal and applaud with delight] Claire Wellington: This book said to me, 'Let's celebrate the birth of our lord Jesus Christ... with yarn.' Walter Kresby: First of all we are in the country now, so no more black. Joanna Eberhart: No more black? Are you insane? Walter Kresby: You heard me. Only high-powered, neurotic, castrating, Manhattan career *****es wear black. Is that what you want to be? Joanna Eberhart: Ever since I was a little girl. Joanna Eberhart: Hey, aren't you Bobbi Markowitz? I love your books. What was the name of that book, the one about your mother? Bobbi Markowitz: "I Love You, But Please Die." Stepford Wife: [in a conversation over how to associate pine cones in preparing for Christmas, some of the Stepford Wives are deciding for make Santa-Clauses out of Pine Cones. Bobbi is Jewish, the wives are trying to think of ways to include her] Your Pine Snowman could be Jewish, just has one of those little Beanies. Bobbi Markowitz: [smiling] Or maybe I could just use hundreds of Pine Cones to spell out the words 'Big Jew' in letters 15 foot tall, on the snow in my front yard. Claire Wellington: [all the wives smiles disappear... after a long silence] [laughing out loud] Claire Wellington: That's a wonderful idea. [the wives smile and clap loudly] Roger Bannister: [Excited] Jerry... Jerry, its a bakesale! An actual bakesale! It's like some heavenly diorama at the Smithsonian in the Hall of Homemakers. Roger Bannister: Oh, no. No, stop it. Stop it. Stop it. Stop it. That is not cobbler! Jerry Harmon: Roger... could we - could we reel it in a couple hundred yards? Roger Bannister: [to the Stepford Wives at bakesale] How do you ladies keep your figures? Is there just a huge vat of cobbler vomit somewhere?... But worth it?