The football offside rules explained for girls.

  1. You're in a shoe shop, second in the queue for the till.
    Behind the shop assistant is a pair of shoes which you have seen and which you really must have.

    The female shopper in front of you has seen them also and is eyeing them with desire. Both of you have forgotten your purses. It would be totally rude to push in front of the first woman if you had no money to pay for the shoes.

    The shop assistant remains at the till waiting.

    Your friend is trying on another pair of shoes behind you, near the back of the shop, and sees your dilemma. She prepares to throw her purse to you.

    If she does so, you can catch the purse, then walk around the other shopper and buy the shoes.

    At a pinch she could throw the purse ahead of the other shopper and, *WHILST IT IS IN FLIGHT* you could nip around the other shopper, catch the purse and buy the shoes.

    Always remembering that until the purse has *ACTUALLY BEEN THROWN* it would be plain wrong for you to be in front of the other Shopper and you would be OFFSIDE!

    and there you go...
  2. :roflmfao: :roflmfao: :roflmfao: :roflmfao:

    I love it! Off sides is the most confusing thing in the world-and I played soccer when I was little!!!!
  3. Aahahahah! that is perfect!

    I now understand the offside rule!!! Thanks! My husband will be impressed! Despite numerous good hearted attempts by him, that have ended with him missing clumps of hair & with large bumps on his head from ripping out his hair & smashing his head into walls in desperation, I've never quite managed to grasp it.

    Not anymore!! See, put it into terms I can understand & I'm there!

    :roflmfao: :roflmfao: :roflmfao:
  4. Omg. That was great! :lol: I had been waiting to ask what an offside is.
  5. Thanks for the explanation.
  6. Well done, Cal!!! It's hilarious!

    It could be easily confused (maybe just me) with the offside rule of ice hockey. "In ice hockey, play is said to be offside if a player on the attacking team enters the attacking zone before the puck."

    So the only difference is the puck (hockey) vs the deffender (soccer). (a little side track)