The concept of bragging

IntlSet

Bonjour!
Jan 29, 2006
12,532
48
Chicago
I'm really confused by this concept of "bragging," because I don't think I entirely grasp what it even means, or what's considered bragging.

I bring this up because a friend of mine mentioned that she felt another friend of ours was "bragging" on Facebook about her new engagement ring. As in, she posted pictures of her engagement ring.

And, frankly, she had a pretty fabulous ring.

But LOTS of girls who are our mutual friends have posted their engagement ring pics on facebook... why did my friend pick this one person as the one who was "bragging?" Just because her ring is super nice?

I'm just confused. I believe modesty is a true virtue, but I am certain I stray into bragging territory without realizing it. I'm someone who would post my engagement ring without a second thought, especially if everyone else on my friends list does it. Is it bragging only if the ring is over a certain carat size? I'm asking hypothetically -- because I'm not engaged.

Okay -- discuss! I'm so interested to hear what you gals think.
 

shanam

62 is the new 40 LOL
Aug 15, 2006
2,093
2
Connecticut
Your friend who complained about her friend's engagement ring sounds jealous. Getting engaged is something to celebrate and showing off her ring is to be expected. If she went on and on about how "big" or "expensive" it is, when the rest of her friends do not have rings of equal size - with the intent of making them feel badly - that is bragging.
 

katrines

O.G.
Aug 21, 2006
220
0
It sounds like your friend just has a case of the sour grapes -- especially if she has never commented on friends with more modest rings. For me, if a friend posted their completely TDF ring on facebook, I'd be glad because I got to see a crazy fabulous ring, but some people tend to cast things in a negative light when they're jealous. It's silly!

I don't think that I would ever post pictures of just my engagement ring on facebook (not that I'm engaged yet -- who knows, maybe I would!), but I don't think that it's show-offy to do so. But I'm in the camp that sees facebook as a hilarious way to keep up with details of people's lives that I would never otherwise know. So even when people post crazy things on facebook, I sort of love it.
 

Roo

member
O.G.
Apr 28, 2006
10,464
30
There are different kinds of bragging, I think. Some people do it harmlessly, because they are proud of something (like their kids or grandkids) or they are happy about an accomplishment. There is another type of bragging IMO, that is self absorbed and based in insecurity. People who engage in this behavior will often brag about something to a friend or family member to make them feel badly. (ie; bragging about purchasing or receiving an item they know that person wants badly, etc.) They will also brag about good things happening to them when the person listening to them is having difficult times. IMO this is done to boost the insecure person's ego and to make the other person feel small. That kind of bragging is much harder to deal with. The bragger is doing it because they are self absorbed and everyone knows it but them... :nogood:
 

digby723

Back to reality
May 2, 2006
5,139
3
NOVA
Everyone brags, even if they don't realize that they do it, it's human nature. I think your friend who complained is probably either jealous or mad at the girl who posted the pictures. I would only only consider it to be annoying if the girl posted new pictures daily or wouldn't stop talking about how much better her ring was than everyone elses. Otherwise, if she just posted pics to show it off, then I don't see a problem with it. Part of being engaged is to show off the ring, and facebook normally consists of having friends on there that are not in your immediete area, so in this case she is probably showing her new engagement ring off to people who might not see it until the wedding, or at all. I wouldn't think much of it truth be told.
 

hiyall

Member
Jan 29, 2009
239
0
Bragging is really horrible...I know, because I'm guilty of it/being a braggert BIGTIME! :throwup:I'm glad you've brought up this post so much, because it will help me be WARE of the dog of bragging.

Here what bragging is (my personal definition--for me) is when I boast about things that make me feel superior or better than others--even on how with my superior knowledge and experience I can help some mere pion with their problems:devil:. Bragging (for me) is so evil, because it makes others feel small. ANYTHING that makes people feel small is not cool with me and this is a battle I find myself fighting. I sometime find myself losing the battle--but I know I will win the WAR of bragadiciousdom:smartass:

Now, personally, I'm always so very GLAD and sincerely HAPPY when others do well, get great stuff, live terrific lives and are blessed tremendously in any and every way.
I'm a happy-go-lucky person and love good things for others and myself--that's just me.
I'm so happy for any and everyone inside myself and outside too and I wish them all of the best and hope they get everything they've ever dreamed of. I'm not a jealous person and very much the opposite of a jealious person in everyway (Thank God), so I'm ernestly happy for those who are blessed with nice things. HOWEVER--that said.....

Where I fall short is, I MISTAKENLY/erroneously/foolishly think/feel/believe that everyone is like me (happy when others succeed or get and live a fabulous life, drive a super sharp car have a rich and handsome husband, yada yada yada and I'm GLAD for them). Well, everyone is NOT like me, some people are jealous and insecure, not as hyper and happy as I am and have not had the life's experiences that I have. So, I have to be careful and not "brag" about the (constant :queen: ) good stuff that happens to me before just everyone. Sometime I have to keep the "good" stuff to myself--in order not to make someone stumble with jealousy or envy. I don't HAVE to...but I want to, because I don't like/want to make someone feel small--even if it IS their problem, I don't want to contribute to them feeling small if I can help it and frankly, I CAN help it too!

Some may say, well, that's NOT fair...that's the jealous person's problem, not mine. Well, life has/is teaching me that not everyone is going to be happy when I'm happy-PLUS, as I said, I can and do and am guilty of bragging (and being a braggert) because I got it going on like that--so that's what bragging is to me. It sounds so cold, but what bragging really saying is "looky what I got and you don't--I'm better than you--I've got it going on and I know it" and you don't--so get with the program or just ADMIRE ME PLEASE cause I'm so awesome, etc. . Most people won't admit that, but that is what bragging is to me.

I have to watch it and constantly be on guard for my bragging--cause as I've said multiple times, I'm guilty of bragging (and most people who brag) even in the most slightest and subtle ways--bragging can be so sinister, because it "seems" so innocent--but if we look in our heart of hearts...WE KNOW IT AINT!:devil: Bragging IS designed to make us feel superior and let the peasant drool and wish:death: That's my take on it anyway....
 
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meluv2shop12

Member
Dec 9, 2007
874
0
la la land
i think it depends on the personality of the person that posted the picture.. if that particular person is known to be a "one upper" then anything (well maybe not ANYTHING but you know what i mean) she says or does will likely be construed as bragging... if this is not the case, then maybe the person that commented on the picture my be a wee bit jealous...
 
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KarraAnn

Mrs. KarraAnn!
Feb 10, 2009
1,027
0
i think it depends on the personality of the person that posted the picture.. if that particular person is known to be a "one upper" then anything she says or does will be construed as bragging... if this is not the case, then maybe the person that commented on the picture my be a wee bit jealous...
Good point, some people just don't like to see others doing better than them.
 
Jan 28, 2007
11,349
5
A few things:

Friend who said it was bragging = jealous... she has mistaken your friend's bragging for her own jealousy of the very nice ring.

Second, I really don't think there is anything wrong with a little bragging. It's the degree of bragging that leads to problems. A little honk of your own horn makes you feel good and also lets others know of your achievements so they can be happy for you too (if they are truly a good friend). But if you're shoving things in people's faces and trying to make yourself appear better whilst belittling others, that's when the bragging is something negative.


So anyway, your friend posted a few photos. Was she showing her ring off? Sure. But was she trying to make herself appear better? I definitely don't think so, seeing as she's done what your other friends have done. Her ring just happens to be bigger.
 
Jan 28, 2007
11,349
5
Why don't you ask your friend if she thought the other girls posting their rings were bragging, and if not, ask her to explain the difference. Maybe that will get her to think about her reasoning, or maybe you're just not seeing something that she is...?
 

hiyall

Member
Jan 29, 2009
239
0
Why don't you ask your friend if she thought the other girls posting their rings were bragging, and if not, ask her to explain the difference. Maybe that will get her to think about her reasoning, or maybe you're just not seeing something that she is...?

EXCELLENT idea! :tup:
 

HauteMama

.
O.G.
Sep 22, 2006
11,483
438
Bragging is a very hard thing to define. Like it has been mentioned, many people tell about things they are proud of and have every right to be proud of. They don't do it to show off or to make anyone else feel inferior; they do it because they are excited about whatever it was. A lot of people post reveals here with that attitude.

On the other hand, other people will take any opportunity to belittle someone else's accomplishments or posessions and overstate their own just to make themselves feel better. If someone got engaged with a small ring and was excited and showed all her friends, the bragger would say, "That's nice, but I'd want something at least 3/4 carat." Instead of being able to share someone else's happiness, they would find a way to make themselves look superior.

Now, if the person showing the ring went on and on about the price or the brand or the size (especially in comparison to anyone else's), then that would be bragging. But no matter how huge the diamond, it isn't bragging if you are just sharing your happiness. It sounds like your friend who commented has issues and not the person who got engaged.
 

bagaholic85

Member
Sep 14, 2007
6,481
4
i <3 ny
lol! Yes. But that still doesn't explain why she commented on this particular girl who posted her ring, and not the girls who posted more modest rings. Know what I mean? ;)
jealousy/envy would be my guess

if everyone is doing it, how is the one person that happens to have the nicest/largest/most expensive, bragging?