The 13 Worst Hair Trends in Music

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  1. The 13 Worst Hair Trends in Music

    You gave into the crowd. You spent over a hundred dollars a month on hair product just to fit in. You keep your high school pictures hidden at all costs. You received nasty looks at every family gathering from 1984 to 1995. You have clearly fallen victim to the worst hair trends in the history of music.

    Jon D'Auria

    (Blender March 26 2008)

    Style: The Bleach Job
    Description: Some did it to stand out, others did it all for the nookie. Whatever the reason, bald men everywhere cried for the abuse of healthy hair follicles. It did, however, make it tremendously easy for Spring Breakers to find their drunken white-mopped friends on a busy dance floor.
    Era: Late '90s
    Main Culprits: Sugar Ray, Eminem, Fred Durst, Everclear, Goldfinger
    Keeping It Alive: Larry Birkhead

    Style: The Bowl Cut
    Description: They stormed our shores to bring the U.S. a new style of music, a new perspective on celebrity, and, of course, incredibly dorky hair cuts. The simple recipe for this fad requires only a large salad bowl, a pair of scissors and a lack of self-respect. Gnarled horse teeth optional.
    Era: The '60s
    Main Culprits: The Beatles, the Rolling Stones, the Who, the Kinks
    Keeping It Alive:Harry Potter

    Style: The High-Top Fade
    Description: The dawn of hip-hop brought the sound of the streets to the mainstream charts, as the MCs of the '80s rose straight to the top. Unfortunately, that was also the blueprint for their hairstyle. Whether you were East Coast, West Coast, gangsta or b-boy, if you weren't rocking the high tower, you were just another sucka.
    Era: Mid-'80s–early '90s
    Main Culprits: Kid 'N Play, De La Soul, Boyz II Men, New Edition, Bell Biv DeVoe
    Keeping It Alive: Guile from Street Fighter

    Attached Files:

  2. Style: The Beard Ponytail
    Description: When one ponytail ceased to be metal enough in the early 2000s, the rock gods assembled and came upon a solution: braid the next plot of hair down. A new form of head banging followed shortly thereafter. We hope we're not around when the trend lowers on the body.
    Era: 2000–present
    Main Culprits: System of a Down, Disturbed, Metallica
    Keeping It Alive: Mastodon

    Style: The Boy Cut (w/ Headband)
    Description: Just got back from the gym? It doesn't matter. You can capture that true Jazzercise look and feel by simply applying a bandanna to your kindergarten-boy haircut. Both men and women were bonded by this haircut, and it later became a crowd staple at Lilith Fair festivals to come.
    Era: Late '70s, early '80s
    Main Culprits: Pat Benatar, Loverboy's Mike Reno
    Keeping It Alive: Ashton Kutcher, Eric Prydz

    Style: The Hippie
    Description: Free spirited, free lovin' and free of shampoo. We can't even begin to imagine the smell of the cumulative stench at Woodstock. I mean, we get the whole "liberated soul" thing, but come on, would a rinse of Pert Plus and a stick of deodorant really kill your acid trip?
    Era: Early '60s–mid-'70s
    Main Culprits: Janis Joplin, the Allman Brothers, Grateful Dead
    Keeping It Alive: The Dude from The Big Lebowski

    Style: The Big Goth
    Description: Looking like a giant tarantula perched on top of their heads, this disastrous mop is just about as painfully goth as it gets. I suppose anything would be good to detract attention from the lipstick-and-heavy-eyeliner-covered faces of these dark poetry-writing graveyard lurkers.
    Era: Mid-'70s–late '90s
    Main Culprits: The Cure's Robert Smith, Twiggy Ramirez of Marilyn Manson, Bauhaus
    Keeping It Alive: Edward Scissorhands and creator Tim Burton

    Attached Files:

  3. Style: The Mullet
    Description: Business in front, party in back and white trash all around. This gem of a hairdo has become a major fixation in pop culture, leaving many trailer park tenants feeling cheated and robbed. Hey, it got John Stamos a gig drumming for the Beach Boys didn't it?
    Era: '80–present
    Main Culprits: Billy Ray Cyrus, Bono, Michael Bolton and most country music singers
    Keeping It Alive: Dee Snider, country music

    Style: The Vedder
    Description: Many yeti sightings were reported in the greater Seattle area, thanks to this classy combination of grotesquely large sideburns and long unwashed hair. It's a subtle variation of the hippie; the main differentiation was in the substitution of freedom with a universal sense of desolation. On the positive side, shampoo was cool, and sleeping with Winona Ryder was a distinct possibility.
    Era: Early–mid-'90s
    Main Culprits: Nirvana, Pearl Jam, Alice in Chains, Soundgarden, the Melvins
    Keeping It Alive: Band of Horses, your local 7-Eleven clerk

    Style: The Hair Metal Head
    Description: Ah, the days of glam rock: cheap booze, cheap girls, tight spandex and men who took pride in looking like women. It was this dazzling hairstyle that marked the first time in music history that rock stars worked harder on their hair than their groupies did.
    Era: '80s
    Main Culprits: Bon Jovi, Poison, Cyndi Lauper, Guns N' Roses
    Keeping It Alive: Slash

    Attached Files:

  4. Style: The Mike Patton
    Description: Too metal for the mullet? Don't want to give up your long head-banging locks of glory? Why not compromise and just shave the under part. Nothing says class and sophistication like a half-finished haircut. Who knew you could have your Milwaukee's Best and drink it, too?
    Era: Late '80s–late '90s
    Main Culprits: Jason Newsted of Metallica, Corey Glover of Living Colour, Anthony Kiedis of Red Hot Chili Peppers
    Keeping It Alive: The Orc goblins in The Lord of the Rings trilogy

    Style: The Faux Hawk
    Description: Finally, something both frat boys and emo kids can agree on—a douche bag haircut moussed to look like a haircut your parents won't let you in the house with. How did something as tough as the Mohawk evolve into something this pitiful? Mr. T is banging his fist in anger somewhere right now.
    Era: 2003–present
    Main Culprits: Chester of Linkin Park, Kevin Federline, Ryan Seacrest
    Keeping It Alive: Angelina Jolie's son Maddox, David Beckham

    Style: Emo Bed Head
    Description: All it takes to look this effortlessly scornful is a few hours, a critical eye and an endorsement from Paul Mitchell. Extra points for spikes that look tragic, porcupiney, and *****in' on avatars and blog profile pics. LOL.
    Era: 2000–present
    Main Culprits: Pete Wentz, Panic! At the Disco
    Keeping It Alive: Project Runway Season 4 winner, Christian Siriano

    Attached Files:

  5. funny thread!!!!!!!!!!!!!! thanks for posting!!!
  6. That was funny,