Tell Them Up Front Or Let Them Find Out??

Coldplaylover

Member
Mar 8, 2006
5,276
2
If you had a skeleton in your closet from a long time ago would you tell your new friends about it or would you hope that they did not hear about it from someone else or google you, etc.? Is it best to be up front in this day of modern technology and gossip or just let the cards fall as they may?
 

Wentworth-Roth

Longtime Member
O.G.
Jul 3, 2006
5,597
353
It depends what it is. Would you be comfortable with them knowing this secret or would you prefer them not to know anything? If the latter is the case, don't say anything... it is your life, your secret, your decision and you don't have to answer to anyone.
 

tmc089

O.G.
Oct 6, 2007
3,366
0
Connecticut
You shouldn't have to feel obligated to let your friends know your dirty little secrets. If you feel like it's unfair and that they really really should know, tell them. But if you feel uncomfortable and are uneasy with letting them know, don't. If they find something out, oh well...it happens.
 

Sweetpea83

Member
May 28, 2007
95,313
21
I agree..it depends on what it is...if you think it would affect your friendship in a negative way..be careful.
 

binky

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Feb 13, 2006
606
0
Third rock from the sun
If the skeleton in the closet will not affect new friends in any way and is really none of their business, I would probably not tell them about it, or at least I won't go out of my way to tell them.

Presently, I am in the middle of a situation where I learned a person I thought was my friend was deceiving me. I thought we were always honest with each other... until said person got busted... because of the internet. This has really affected our friendship, and I am not sure we can be friends after this.
 

Coldplaylover

Member
Mar 8, 2006
5,276
2
Thanks for the feedback! I was forming a new friendship and told her about it because I thought it would be good to have it out there but I guess it was a mistake because now she is not maintaining our friendship.......whatever, her loss, right? But since this happened now I'm feeling I should keep my mouth shut from now on. BTW, this skeleton is from 1999.
 

Sweetpea83

Member
May 28, 2007
95,313
21
^Well, that's a bummer that the friendship didn't last...wonder what it was that it was soo bad it ruined the friendship? Sorry, being rather nosey here...:shame:
 

Danica

Member
Feb 5, 2006
9,480
4
the forest dim
If it were me I would gauge what their reaction might be and go from there. But really if you cannot trust them with this then maybe they are not the right friend for you.
 

illinirdhd

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Dec 14, 2007
6,436
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Las Vegas, NV
I guess for me, it would depend on the secret. If someone could google "Jane Doe Las Vegas NV" and the first thing that came up would say "Jane Doe set her entire village on fire, and everyone died in the big bonfire in 1999," then I probably wouldn't try to hide it. But if it's something that a person would have to do quite a bit of digging to find out, I'd probably keep it to myself. People are very judgmental, especially about new acquaintances.
 

guccimamma

guccimamma
Aug 8, 2006
9,448
1,841
i guess it would depend on how big the skeleton was...and if anybody was going to find out about it on their own. is it easily "google-able" ? then, i'd probably fess up.
 

Rockst@r

Zeta lady forever!
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Jan 1, 2007
1,865
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New Jerz formerly Philly
Unless it will affect them directly, I see no need to divulge. I've never even thought to google friends. If they find out and judge you for it, then they aren't worth your time anyway.
 

Varied_obsessions

Because I said so
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May 7, 2006
1,415
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Do people actually google other people? That's disturbing. If it makes you uncomfortable, I'd keep it to myself. No one on this planet knows everything about me.
 

tmc089

O.G.
Oct 6, 2007
3,366
0
Connecticut
Also...if your friend is going to judge you and not be your friend over something that happened almost a decade ago, and not consider the amazing person you are right now at this moment...is it really worth having her around?