It's worth saying again - make your own money. Even if you have joint accounts and expenses, no one can tell you what to do with money that you earn yourself. The couple I work for do not need to have 2 incomes, they each make plenty, but they both say they never wanted to be one of those couples who needs to ask for or give "permission" to buy something. They each bring it in, so they can each spend it! Many mothers of kids in the area I work in do little side things to make some "Mad Money" - reselling on eBay, freelance consulting, selling Avon, etc. BF said (during a convo with friends about having a non-working spouse and the pros/cons) that if you expect to be taken care of by someone else, that person is basically your parent - they control the money, they control you.