Speaking of weddings...

  1. My cousin is getting married in the first week of June, which is just over a month away. We're kind of closely related -- our mothers are first cousins -- but we were never really close until last month, when her mom came to my mom for help with the wedding.

    This wedding, by the way, is taking place in Malaysia, because that's where I'm from, and I think I'm doomed to go back home for it :evil:.

    When my family came to NY to visit me during winter break, my prenuptial cousin and her parents came along too. They stayed at a hotel, because my apartment is too small to fit them all, and when they I brought them over to see my apartment my mom, my cousin and her mom started going through my entire wardrobe, bags, shoes and all.

    While they were looking at my things, my cousin came across my favorite pair of Manolo Blahnik shoes...


    ... yes, the same pair that got stolen in Sex & The City. And she freaked out and begged me to lend them to her for her wedding :cry:. Unfortunately, we wear the same size. I didn't agree or refuse; I just kind of went, "Well...we'll see..." because I couldn't really say NO in front of both our moms.

    The thing is, I had planned to wear them to her wedding too :evil:.

    And now I wish I'd said something then, because when my mom called me this morning she said, "You'd better come up with a good excuse for not bringing your Manolos home for the wedding. She's banking on wearing them on that day."

    I don't know how to get out of this, because first of all I'd been so vague about lending her my shoes; secondly, I don't lend my shoes out, not to anybody, because they cost so much; thirdly, I can't stand my cousin, or her mother :mad:! All they do is compare themselves and their possessions to what my mom and I have -- and I'm pretty sure she'll conveniently forget that they're my shoes when people compliment her on them. But if I don't lend her the shoes, and wear them to the wedding, she and her mom are going to make a huge deal out of it, especially to the elders of the family :worried:.

    So what should I do? Grit my teeth and let her wear the shoes, or stand my ground with both shoes on my feet and anticipate the storm warning?
  2. How horrid for you, I'd probably stand my ground about not lending them but possibly not wear them myself to the wedding either, because that might provoke a scene. I hope you get it sorted out, it is SO annoying when people just presume like that and pressure you into lending them things!

  3. Ah! THat is awful! I would not loan them to her, and I would not wear them to the wedding either- just to avoid conflict or anxiety. They are gorgeous shoes!! I wouldn't want to share them with anyone else either!
  4. I would not lend them! I would also accidently forget to pack them...oops! ;)
  5. I'd go along with Bex about the sudden amnesia part. They're your shoes! I know what you mean, I come from similar family settings as you do, but to keep your blahniks, you might prob not get to wear them to the wedding as well but better than letting them get borrowed, right?
  6. don`t let her borrow them! They're yours so it's totally up to you what you decide to do with them. :love::love: I agree with the other ladies that you shouldn`t wear them to the wedding either.

    Or just say that you forgot to mention that you promised to let me borrow them that exact same week :lol::lol:.
  7. Don't say you accidentally forgot them because she is planning on them. You should say the heal broke and it is not reparable. Or your heal broke off u took them to the repair man to fix them and he lost them! Make somethign up.
  8. maybe you could make a contract or something for her to sign, if you think it would be best for you to let her wear them. if they can make a huge deal out of it so can you. make her sign something legally binding that you will get them back the same day, etc, or be compensated 2x the cost of the shoes.

    but I would probably just not bring them at all. I don't trust people with my stuff.
  9. i agree with minnie....lie ;)......tell her they got a huge stain on them, or they were lost/stolen, one of the rhinestones on the front fell off :lol:
  10. are they still available in stores? if so, send her the info and let her buy her own! tell her they are for "her wedding" and she needs her own special wedding shoes.
  11. Ughhh my gut would be to slyly lie and get out of it... but lies never work. Just tell her the truth. Hum... harsh yes, but you will feel ok about it in the end and I am sure she will get over it!
  12. tell her you have foot fungus and she'll catch if she wears the shoes. say that you didn't tell her at the time because you're embarassed about it.

    for serious. lie like there's no tomorrow! if i had carrie's famous manolos, i wouldn't even let anyone look at them, let alone wear them on their dirty sweaty feet.
  13. I come from Malaysia too.... cousins who come and visit never seem to have any qualms about going thru my closet, jewelry, and possessions without asking. I've once had a cousin offer me $5 for my favorite sentimental $$$ tank top, and the money was allowance money that my mom gave her to spend while staying here.

    Having said that, no, I would not lend her the shoes. It might not go over well with the family back there, but it was rude of her to expect you to lend them to her anyways. Malaysia is different in terms of environment too.... their air quality is dirty, dusty, and yellow smoggy, and there's much more dust, debris on the sidewalks/streets, and also the extreme heat and humidity may cause your shoes to turn.

    Never mind that, would you really be okay if you received them back damaged or sweaty or stained?? (her feet may have problems, you never know). Plus... I know whenever I lend someone something from my closet, I never look at it the same way again as MINE... I usually then give it away, or never wear it again
  14. I'm superstitious about telling lies because I always found the thing then actually happens. I once lied that my computer was down to get out of doing something, and guess what happened... £250 for repairs and a load of lost data later, I wish I'd just said no!

    I think you should just explain that as you didn't offer her them she has no right to fuss, because imagine how peeved you'll be if she does damage them then says they were like that when you lent them to her, or something?!

  15. Wow, this is tough. I will be bad for saying this but the relatives aren't worth my manolos if those were mine. I would tell her sorry, they are my shoes and I want them in pristine condition but I will help you search high and low for the perfect ones and pitch in 30% if the price of the shoe is within reason.

    OR, tell her to go buy her own pair:


    :biggrin: :biggrin: :biggrin: